Forgive Me For Blessing A London Landmark
With a bit of redundancy, because not everyone out there is au fait with 'The Strand', which sounds as if Bertie Wooster or Lord Peter Wimsey ought to be waltzing down it, pink gin in hand. Before we get anywhere with today's Intro, I feel we need a suitably grim picture from our resident AI Art Generator. Art!
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| Surprisingly, no problem from the Prompt Box about "Nazis" or "Swastikas" |
I also use that title because it references a terrific title from South Canadian punk-rockers The Dickies. Art!
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| "Stukas Over Disneyland" |
From what I can see, Disney never sued the pants off The Dickies, which is remarkably tolerant for such a litigious organisation, who rea
ANYWAY what I really wanted to discuss here are phenomena known as 'Second-order historical counterfactuals', which sounded horribly dry when I wrote it down, hence you getting the two eye-catching pictures above.
It didn't come out of nowhere; Your Humble Scribe is up to page 260 of "22.11.1963" by Ol' Steve, and be warned HERE BE SPOILERS.
SPOLIERS AHOY!
I WARNED YOU
You see, what Ol' Steve has included in his narrative is the unseen character Fate, which exerts the dead hand of history against anyone, such as our hero Jake, who is attempting to change the past. Jake logically and presciently reasons that the bigger the change he attempts to make in the past, the greater the effort required to overcome history, which actively fights back to maintain the normal flow of time. Art!
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| South Canadian tourists get an all-expenses paid trip to Hue City |
Jake, as a test-run, goes back to 1958 and saves the lives of several people who would otherwise have died, and then goes back to his present of 2011 and feels mighty fine about things.
However - we meet again - this is where second-order counterfactuals come into play, because the 'ripple' effects of Jake's change keep on promulgating long after he returns to 2011. I include the picture of South Canadian troops during the Tet Offensive of 1968, because this is where one of the people Jake saved comes to an untimely end, instead of living to a ripe old age in 2011. The Grim Reaper and History will not be denied, it seems. Art!
This isn't a spoiler as it's part of the tagline on the novel's cover, so you know Jake is going to try and prevent the Kennedy assassination. My point here is that in his prior meddling with the time-stream, Jake encountered an incredible migraine, lost his car keys, almost fell when the banister broke and got stuck in his car when the lock jammed. When he did manage to drive only extreme caution prevented him from being turned into a crushed can of Spam, when an 18-wheeler jumped a red light.
My point is that averting the Kennedy assassination is going to have Fate bridling like a zombie horse with a fit of the strangles on a corral with lava for a surface. Even if Jake does make The Big Save, who's to say that there won't be another assassination attempt? Another nut-job who intends to finish what Oswald started? Art!
I have personally defined 'Second-order counterfactuals' as self-correcting circumstances that act to bring historical counterfactuals back on track, and my example is that above, a Teuton invasion of the British Isles that goes beyond the planning and preparation phase.
Ladies and gentlemen and those unsure, in this scenario I give you 3 counterfactuals:
a) The Luftwaffe wins the aerial Battle of Britain
b) There is a successful invasion crossing of the Channel
c) The Teutons establish beach-heads ashore on the South Coast.
Art!
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| A Teuton Landwasserschlepper. They had as many as 20 of these. |
For a): the amphibious invasion across the Channel is a total debacle as the Royal Navy turns up and sinks everything.
For b): the Royal Navy and Royal Air Force sink everything trying to ferry fuel, food, ammunition and reinforcements ashore.
For c): British and Commonwealth forces, including elite New Zealand and Canadian troops, crush the beach-heads.
This isn't Conrad bloviating here, 'Operation Sealion' is acknowledged to be very, very difficult for the Teutons to win, and if ahistorical results occur in one area, they will be negated by another.
You might want to also consider that if Britain looked like being over-run, all the information and research and scientists who were involved with 'Tube Metals' would definitely be evacuated to Canuckistan, and perhaps over the border to South Canada. Thus - Art!
Thus Great Britain is occupied, but in compensation (and second-order counterfactual) Uncle Sam gets atomic weapons by mid-1943. Food for thought, hmmmm?
I think we may come back to this one, it has legs, and besides that we need to check out how Jake gets on pushing against Fate, and the unfamiliarly and stiflingly hot Texas weather.
I See Fatty's Diplomacy Is As Effective As His Business Skill
The use of 'skill', singular, is deliberate, since Captain Cholesterol has only the ability to lie as easily (and as often!) as breathing in his repertoire of business skills. Don't forget, this is the man who went bankrupt running a casino. Art!
This is what he'll boast about as a "mighty triumph, the best peace ever, where's my Nobel Peace Prize I want it now now now". Clearly one of his more malicious minions went whispering in Fatty's ear about how he's a shoo-in for the NPP, and now, like the magpie-mind he is, that's all he's fixated upon.
Don't forget, DJ Tango, ever one with a feeble grasp of reality, claimed that five million Ukrainian troops just escaped from an encirclement without loss. Zelensky must be shaking his head in disbelief and I don't think Putinpot regards Fatty as a reliable stooge any more. It all depends on which direction Mopey Dick's brainworm wriggles on any particular day. Art!
Manny And His Planny
For Lo! we are back on Michael Mann and his tips from a long career in screenwriting and directing, which you ought to find interesting from a philosophical standpoint, even if you never direct a second-long scene in your life. Art!
Manny explained this as being a film of only 120 minutes duration, where there is what he termed 'compression', or a relatively small input results in a large output. In this sense he was talking about 'Collateral', a film completely set in Los Angeles, with a duration that lasts a single night. It also seems to be a corollary of 'Nothing gratuitous', in that you leave the effect once it has been exerted, rather than prolonging anything. Know when to leave well alone.
This Annoys Me. A LOT!
There is never a shortage of things that irk Your Humble Scribe, with Alan Carr, Russell Brand and 'Strictly Come Dancing' all at the top of the list. Just wait until I take over, then they'll be sorry. You, too, if you're not well-behaved in the meantime.
ANYWAY take a gander at this. Art!
WHAT IS THIS DOG BUNS SERIES! Ah but that would mean no need for you to follow your click-baited nose and garner them views, wouldn't it?
Of course - obviously! - I couldn't just leave it hanging there. As is always the way for a man with shovel-sized hands, I did a bit of digging.
All Three Seasons Of Dark Winds Have 100% On Rotten TomatoesAccording to the site, its Tomatometer sits at 100% for all three seasons. It's a wild thing for the staple critic site to dole out top marks across the board, but the AMC show rightfully deserves the rating based on its critical and audience reception
Never heard of it. Art!
A dramatic glimpse into the action-packed dramatic lifestyle of South Canadian meteorologists, apparently. Of course, I might be overthinking this .....
Grumpy German Gefreiter Is Grumpy
More from Hansel (und Greetel), this time yarking on about being sent about in the rain, the poor spun-sugar darling.
1st September 1944
The whole battalion is leaving the isle. In pouring rain I drive to Kierikzee D34 as the last man to leave. On the ferry, of course, the company favourites have the best places.
Oooh you can almost hear his underwear working itself into torsion-artillery driving bands. Art!
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| Unhappy Teuton tourists looking for refunds |
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