O Mendicant Memory

In The Sense Of Begging, That Is

Because Conrad is not entirely sure how his mind, and thus memory (courtesy of Steve, thanks, Steve!) work, it really does beg the question as to why odd things pop up in it now and then.  For example:

     This blotchpotch is titled "The Cow With The Subtile Nose" and I don't believe I've thought about it in twenty years.  It sticks in my mind from an art book that I cannot remember the title of - bad show, Steve.  It was painted in 1954 by Jean Dubuffet and, frankly, I do not care for it.  So, once again, why does it merrily prance around in my mind this afternoon?  I didn't know anything about the artist and am not convinced by his other works.  Art!

"Portrait Of Elderly Zombie"

     The real title is a lot more pretentious.  Right, Steve, if you're going to bring up artistic images, then let's have Piranesi and Escher, because I like them.

     Steve hadn't finished for the day, however, because O! what's this?  Ah yes, a memory about a short story by Theodore Sturgeon.  Your humble scribe well recalls the author, by a twist of fate, and that it featured a dying astronaut, who is being pestered by a kid touting various flying models.  That was enough to locate the title - "The Man Who Lost The Sea" and because I am a generous person (to those who obey my merest whim, at least) I can post a link.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yVLJe6kmoX-PBUyX__OVlMXSfmOtFl6Q/view

     SPOILER ALERT!

     SERIOUSLY, THIS WILL SPOIL THE ENDING FOR YOU

     I WARNED YOU.  CRY HAVOC AND LET SLIP THE FROGS OF WAR AND ALL THAT GUFF

     Okay, we know that the narrator is an astronaut, who used a multi-stage rocket ship to make transit, and if we can poach a bit of Bonestell -

     The spacecraft in TMWLTS is multi-stage, as above, with Alpha enabling ascent from a gravity well, Beta making the rest of the journey, Delta being the descent stage and Gamma being the voyager that goes back home, carried piggy-back on Gamma.

     Except it goes horribly wrong, with Delta digging it's landing struts into a concealed crevasse and crashing, wrecking both it and Gamma.  No way home.  By this time the reader realises that the periodical and annoying kid is the narrator, demonstrating an early affinity for flight and flying, and he's having flashbacks brought on by imminent death.  The final paragraph is a great punchline and I'm not going to spoil it by blurting it out.  Read the story. 

      Right, hands up who knows why that story popped up in my head this evening?  Anyone?  Explain in the Comments and I'll be very grateful.

     After that existential wibble, motley, I feel like a nice game of Massive Megaton Missile Madness - lets see who can vapourise Tsar Putin first*!

Conrad Holds Forth

Yesteryon Your Humble Scribe was explaining the irksome realities about the Third Battle of Krithia, fought in June 1915 at Gallipoli.  As predicted, shortage of artillery severely hampered the British, and what guns they had fired mostly shrapnel, which was ineffective against Turkish trenches.  The French, au contraire, had batteries of their famous '75' (on account of it's calibre being 75 millimetres, hack spit) firing high explosive rounds, which gave the central Turkish trenchlines a right shoeing.  Art!

The Turks lurk

     Broadly speaking, the right and left flanks of the British and French attacks had failed, with very heavy casualties; in the centre, however, the 42nd division had broken through.  What did General Hunter-Weston and General Gouraud decide to do next day?  That's right, attack on the right and left again, this time without the advantage of surprise.  The successful advance in the centre?  Completely ignored.  This must surely be the nadir of British generalship in 1915, once again striving madly to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, because there were hardly any Turks in front of 42nd division and a small push would have broken the Turks entirely.  Instead they got days and days to sort themselves out and bring in reinforcements.  Doh of dohs.

Turks with I'm not sure what

     Conrad also noted with interest that the Indian brigade which attacked on the left flank had a lot of native Indian officers, in addition to British ones, since my belief was that all Indian Army officers were British.  One lives and learns**.

Do Not Try This At Home

No doubt some folks reading this item rant and tant at the Nanny State: "How dare they try to stop me driving when bombed out of my tree on vodka and coke!***", yes, that's why you were in prison for six months and are banned from driving anything bigger than a child's push-cart.

     Just as with cars, even more so with planes.  If your car's engine cuts out you will slowly come to a stop.  If a plane's engine cuts out you risk being KILLED DEAD.  If you clip the scenery in a car then you end up with unsightly scratches on your paintwork.  If you clip the scenery in a plane you risk being KILLED DEAD.  I labour the point but you see where I'm coming from.

     Enter Ron.  Ron was not a pilot.  Ron had nil experience of flying.  Ron liked his beer and narcotics, and Ron had purchased and built an ultralight, and nobody was going to stop Ron from achieving his dream!

     Nobody except Ron.  With no training, experience, qualifications or sober common sense, Ron took off and entertained spectators for 30 minutes, until, busy waving to them, he flew into a stand of trees that had suddenly jumped out at him.  Ron then made a terminal dive into the ground.

The intact version

     It is spectacularly unwise to drink, do drugs and drive.  You have to wonder at Ron's thought processes, when he did this and flew.

Finally -

Wonder Wifey is giving the bread maker a test run tonight, with a gluten-free recipe that I am curious about, because making gluten-free bread has been a signal failure on my part a couple of times.  Definitely NOT the same as a wheat flour recipe.  Also, if successful, it seems like cheating.  When you make bread you need to maul it properly, for a good ten minutes, and you have to gratuitously punch and slap it about to show it who's boss get the gluten going.  Good upper body workout.  I haven't been summoned to sit in judgement so probably not done yet.

Hey!  One of you told him, didn't you?

*  Don't tell Dimya about it, he gets sulky.

**  Unless one's surname is Hunter-Weston

***  Deliberately ambiguous