Kind Of Distraught

If Not Too Much

Besides being, as usual, incredibly ANGRY.  I haven't actually found anything to object to yet, but give me a few minutes.

     Why semi-distraught?  Because, gentle reader, there was no Sunday showing of "Batwoman" and consequently we cannot point and laugh derisively.  Don't worry, it'll get broadcast next weekend and then Your Humble Scribe can laugh as critical reviewers on Youtube ladle vitriol over it.  Also, by this time next week the adjusted audience figures will be out and we can chortle at what they've sunk to.  All in all, this entire paragraph sums up "Schadenfreude".  Art!

Quality Bats

     Oh, apparently the brief spike in viewing figures was because they brought back Kate Kane, who was the original Batwoman, as played by Ruby Rose, who cannily jumped ship - foreshadowing much? - last year.  Despite the producers swearing on their mother's graves they wouldn't bring her back.  Apparently they have another actress to play her, who has five children, a mortgage and utility bills to pay.  Presumably her excuse.  Also the coffins of several old women in Hollywood are making strange noises.

Also Quality Bats*

     They have her head muffled in bandages at the moment, most likely whilst the writers try to figure out what to do with her**.  I can tell you this - she will have to be the same height and build as Javicia Leslie, who is the current Batwoman, because if she looks anything like Ruby Rose, their completely different body shapes will instantly disprove that one of them could actually wear the Batsuit.  This complicated technical point is - well, it's pretty obvious, really.  To sane and logical people.

     Motley!  Perform a stupid act, that I may have a focus for my atomic anger!  Preferably involving water and electricity together.

Yeah, baby - now we're talking!

Back To Front

Perhaps that ought to be "Back To The Front" because Lo! we are talking about the First Unpleasantness again, specifically that part of it on the Western Front where stood the armies of Perfidious Albion, and her Dominions and Allied Powers.  And the South Canadians, who had to be different and edgy and be an "Associated Power".

     ANYWAY Your Humble Scribe stumbled across a website new to him, which dubs itself "With The British Army In France And Flanders" and which has tons of posts going back years and years.  Art!

http://thebignote.com/

     That's the link, if you're interested.  Technically one would expect a datestamp in there, because the British have been fighting in the cockpit of Europe for centuries.  There's an awful lot of articles, including a lot about cemeteries, which is how Conrad picked up on it.  You see, there is a Teuton cemetery with abstract standing statuary in a corner, unexpected vision of which has caused people to quiver with fear - and I can't remember which one it is.  Or even if it's a First Unpleasantness one.  Ah, age and memory.  Art!

You What?

Here's an organisation and process that I'll bet you didn't know about five minutes ago, because I didn't either.

     The organisation is the "American Association Of Woodturners" and the process is called 'Fractal Burning' or 'Lichtenberg'.  Art!

     You take a lump of wood, coat it in exotic chemicals and then run thousands of volts through it to produce the fractal effect.  Yes, it is dangerous.  Yes, it has killed people.  Yes, the AAW banned it.  Yes, various South Canadians were up in arms about the ban, because they want to be able to risk being charred to a crisp and you can't darn well stop them!  Since they probably have guns Conrad thinks arguing wouldn't be fruitful.

"Burning Ship Fractal"
(I wonder, is there a "Screaming Handiman" version?)

     You live and learn.  Or, you'll learn if you live.

Likke Til, Norsk Kystvakt!

Which of course is Norwegian for "Good Luck, Norwegian Coastguard!" because they, too, are looking out for us in the North Sea***.  Now, you can't say I didn't hint big in the Intro, so let us load up a few stills from the dramatic and horrifying events of earlier today.  Art!

     You can just see the hand of a crewman whose has been winched to safety from the heaving deck of a Dutch transport vessel in trouble at sea.  Pictures courtesy of the BBC, the font of all that's fit to be writ.  Cargo in the hull had shifted and caused the whole ship to list badly.

     You can see the angle the vessel is listing at, being at serious risk of capsizing completely.  And it's 'listing', BBC, not 'leaning'.  Do keep up!  You can also see how dangerous this job is for the helicopter, which has to get close in to put the winchman down, and which needs to keep it's height as low as possible.

     They deliberately jumped overboard when the ship's list became too severe for the helicopter to winch safely. Norsk Kystvakt picked them up no bother.

     Job done, Winchie comes back aboard, no doubt fondly looking forward to a wet and a wad back at base.  Nobly done, sir!

     Next time you feel grumpy in your job, just imagine doing this bloke's.  There isn't enough money in Bitcoins to get Conrad into that line of work.

Finally -

You may recall Conrad mentioning military historian Jonathan Ware a few weeks ago, the engaging and unstuffy guest on "We Have Ways" podcast.  Conrad is WELL AWARE he has published a book I would like, which will have to wait as the policy is now "One in, one out".  Preserves domestic harmony and all that.

     ANYWAY, Your Humble Scribe noticed he had picked up on a mysterious Teuton account of D Day, by an author who doesn't exist, and published by a publisher that doesn't exist, either.  The "author" is Holger Eckhertz and the "publisher" was "DTZ History Publications" whilst the "translator" was "Sprech Media", which is also a fabulous entity.

There's also this ...

     This has also been dismissed as fictional nonsense by TIK.  The suspicion is that Faust and Eckhertz are the same person or persons.  Gosh!  Someone pushing a Nazi agenda by being dishonest on the internet - how utterly unexpected!

     We'll come back to this, Jonathan did quite a bit of digging.

     Are we done?  I rather think we are, Vulnavia.  Chin chin!

*  Seriously, these things cost upwards of £700!

**  SFW suggestions only in the Comments, people.

***  Shout out for the Marinenjaegerkommandoen too.