Kill Thy Neighbour

No!  This Is Not A Suggestion, Recommendation Or Proposal
For we are back to discussing the life and times of Judge Dredd and Mega-City One, where 400 million people are crammed into all the available space, meaning a vertical conurbation, composed largely of enormous tower blocks.  These are self-sufficient communities in their own right, where it is possible (and frequent) to live an entire lifetime without venturing outside.

An example

     Remember my description of all the Big Meg's citizens as bonkers?  I was being a little unkind; say 95% are bonkers, 4% are homicidal raving nutters and 1% are as normal as you and I.  
     Okay, take this dangerously over-crowded, madcap city and - add guns.  Lots of guns.  In fact, a gun for every healthy adult, and by "gun" I include mobile artillery and missiles, for these are what equip each block's "Citi-Def".   These are the city's Citizen Defence Groups, who are liable to be activated in time of disaster or war.
    That's the plan.  In reality - 

Things sometimes go awry.

     The Chief Judge is extremely wary of activating the Citi-Def units, given their propensity for shooting each other, thanks to innate block rivalries, not to mention wildly-different levels of training and competence.  Weaponry is a function of how well-off the block is, with more affluent blocks technically able to possess their own nuclear arsenal -which is very definitely not a good thing, since a dispute between two blocks over how to pronounce "Tomato" can easily escalate into all-out war.  Not that many citizens will know what a tomato is.

Very awry.

     The Citi-Def can occasionally do the right thing - a stopped clock and all that - as when they fought back against the East-Meg One invasion, and helped during Chaos Day.  All told, however, they are far too likely to enact today's title to be trusted.
     There you go, more vital background information ahead of the television series.  BOOJUM! - helping you live in the world of tomorrow!

A little stroll in the countryside, a few years hence

     Okay, time to set this pack of hunting weasels loose in the maze.  Did I mention the motley was in there, too?

More Landships
As the prototype TANK was originally known.  Of course we in Perfidious Albion loudly proclaim that we invented TANK, which is true and a badge of honour, but we were not the only ones mucking about with armour-plate and engines.  Our allies the M8s also came up with ideas, one of which was the "Rouleau Frot-Laffly".  Art?

Conrad not sure which direction it's heading.

     This was an armoured canal-roller of which I cannot find a picture, and that above is one of the few of the RFL that exist.  Essentially it was a steam-roller with an armoured hull placed upon it, which the French army rather sniffily rejected.  They said it "lacked mobility" and from what Conrad can see, it seems to have had difficulty doing anything but driving in a straight line.  It could crush barbed wire, yes, and was bulletproof, but it couldn't cross a trench.
 

Found one - a Laffly LT road roller.

     File under "Bin"

Meanwhile, At The Bookshop -
Goodness me, my hobby collection of "Official History of the War: Military Operations" has taken a turn for the expensive.  I still need one text volume to complete the original line-up from the Twenties and Thirties, and another 9 map sets.  These mapsets are uncommon, and usually pricey - which, because I won't pay more than £40 for them, has slowed the old collecting down rather.  Art

<Conrad's palms get hot and sweaty>

     This above is the second map set for the year 1918, which I haven't got.  Going for the relatively modest price of £135 (plus postage), I can but yearn for it.  Still, the mapsets for the Western Front will turn up for a suitable price eventually.  For those outside France and Flanders, forget it!  The prices start at a couple of hundred pounds, and go on up to £Ridiculous.  Some people seem to think they can retire on the proceeds of selling a mapset or two.
     Bah!

Enough wibble of warfare and woe!  Let us change the subject and instead stentorianly sermon on <thinks>
     VEGETABLES!

Damon Runyon
It is a sad fact that most of you out there will only know DR because of a <shudders> musical - "Guys and Dolls", which was adapted from some of his short stories.  Conrad possessed his combined short stories and read and re-read them until he lost the books in a house move whenever.

A sad loss

     "Yes but - where are the vegetables?" I hear you quibble.
     Patience!
     One thing that puzzled your humble scribe was DR's describing something called a "Rutabaga", which from the sound of things was a vegetable.  A person has a face like a rutabaga, and at one point our narrator is hit in the head by one - yet Ol' DR is careful never to explain what one is.
     So what is a Rutabaga?  Art!  Enlighten us -

Thus.

     So.  A turnip.  Now I know.

Speaking of which -

     In the 2000AD strip "Bad Company", the titular military misfits disparagingly refer to regular soldiers as "Turnipheads" because of their helmets.  I bet you didn't know that, eh?  Not sure how it went down with South Canadian readers.
     And whilst on the subject of root vegetables, Conrad has just looked up that comedy staple, the "Mangel Wurzel".  Yes, this is a real thing: a root vegetable of the beet family which is grown in order to feed livestock, rather than you us hungry Hom. Sap.

Attack of the mutant vampire veg!

     Ware the wicked Wurzels, spawn of the irradiated rad-lands of Lincolnshire (okay, this is poetic licence and I'm allowed it).  Only one person can save us now!

"Person" might be going a bit too far ...

     Later, fellow humans.