Banging

No!  This Is Nothing Seedy -
And I castigate your dirty gutter-dwelling minds for thinking otherwise.  What I meant was that there's an awful lot of explodey sounds going on outside, which you would expect here in the Allotment at this time of year, when you can acquire explosive devices without needing a licence, or having the <ahem> Po-Po come round to your house with a sniffer dog and forensics team. 


     Not quite what I meant, Art, but I won't get the Tazer out just yet.
     For Yes!  This is the weekend before Bonfire Night, November Fifth, when for at least a month beforehand you can purchase, as I said, gunpowder-filled weaponry that goes off with a sparkle.  Since weather in the Allotment of Eden is notoriously unpredictable and unreliable, people are taking advantage of a dry Saturday the Third of November to let off their assembled arsenals.  
     What can possibly go wrong?

Hmmmm.

     Well, yes, there is that.  
     Fortunately for Edna Wunderhund, Conrad is here to keep her staunch, dauntless, unworried company -
     - er yes apart from the minor fact that he's i) a massive coward and ii) watching a creepy horror film in the dark on his own withou -
     WHAT WAS THAT NOISE!  WHAT?  WHAT!  EDNA, QUICK PROTECT ME FR

"The Mansion's CCTV system picked up an anomalous reading -"

Building Up A Head Of Scream
This one will require a bit of explanation, since the vast majority of locomotives across the globe now use diesel rather than steam as motive power.
     If you are good little fans of BOOJUM! and have been diligently reading, then you are aware of the Hideously Monstrous S.L.A.M. 'Pluto' cruise missile project, which used a Direct atomic engine to propel a 30-ton death-dealing nuclear crowbar.  In theory.     
  Thankfully for all involved, this never got beyond testing the prototype engine, or the 137 people remaining alive would be Very Cross Indeed.  Art?

The infernal engine

     The worrying thing about Pluto is that the engine prototype tests were completely successful; from the picture above you can see that this atomic engine would certainly fit on a train, so you might be wondering why we don't have Atom Engine Rail-Missiles whizzing across the land -
     Because, back in the Fifties, the people responsible for planning all this futuristic shizzle got their sums wrong, and they estimated that an atomic-engined train would be too costly.
     It's not.  Oh, is that the sound of fossil-fuels running out?  

CAUTION!  Do not bring to an abrupt stop.
(Do not breach.  Do not unlock.  Do not move within 1500 metres Do not approach in the event of collision.  Do not, do not, do NOT!)

Hot Stuff
You may not be aware that the formidable Captain Livens, he who served in the armies of Perfidious Albion in the First Unpleasantness, not only invented his Giant One-Shot Mortar, but also the Unfeasibly Large And Terrifying Flamethrower.  This chap definitely had it in for the unfortunate Teutons!  Art?

For scale, each of those tanks at starboard is about man-sized

     This is the 'Large' Flame Projector, which I have seen reconstructed in action.  It is a truly terrifying weapon, which you cannot escape or hide from, because the ignited fuel will follow you around corners, down steps and into trenches.  The Teuton infantry who were the subject of such attacks were probably profoundly grateful that the whole apparatus massed at two tons and needed extensive preparation before use.

I have to say, this is pretty unfair, chaps.

     Now, can I manage to complete a Codeword against the clock whilst watching a film?  Only time will tell!

Interesting!
As mentioned before, I am watching "Night of the Demon" whilst also typing up this scrivel.  NotD, if you are unaware, is regularly up there in the top 50 of Best Horror Films Ever Made.  You may have overlooked it, since it's in monochrome, has no nudity and lacks swearing.  Plenty suspenseful, however -

And it has clowns.  SCARY CLOWNS.

     What makes this *Interesting* is that high winds outside make The Mansion's windows creak and crack at random, and the fact that I have left the sitting-room door open, and the way that Edna, bless her, suddenly sits upright and looks towards said open door, bristling and anxious -
     There's nothing there, Edna!  
     Silly hound!  
     Daft hound!  
     Why, I could get up and walk towa