Damn You, Peter Samsonov!

Allow Me To Explain
Just a few days ago, and quite how I cannot remember, I came across a blog entitled "Tank Archive", which as you may have guessed, deals with tanks.  The thing is, there's an interesting and recurring type of post there that usually begins "Cheating at Statistics", has at least 20 entries.

How to get tanked, perhaps?

     Oh, I should explain that Peter runs the blog.  He seems to be South Canadian, and is also fluent in reading Ruffian, which is handy, as your humble scribe cannot manage more than a few words in upper case.  This means I have spent at least an hour reading these CaT threads when I ought to have been writing up words of wonder, and it is now 19:12.
     So I shall cast TA aside and get on with composing scrivel.*

Oh look, a lovely little  - er - okay, move right along.

     When it comes to CaS, Conrad has always been highly suspicious of accounts from the Teuton side on the Eastern Front, where " - three German soldiers, armed only with a harmonica and a tin of jam, destroyed 187 enemy tanks, suffering no more than a slight migraine and a chipped nail -"** which is probably enough of TANK for today.
     Damn.  Already 19:20, and I have the responsibility of dog-sitting Edna, as everyone else is off to a dance event.  Time to see how many paralysing darts the motley can take before it falls over!

Jam tins.
(Turned into bombs)

The Clock Is Ticking
Unless it's digital, of course, in which case it can only be right once per day, providing it's using the 24-hour system.
     This is an item that's been in the background for at least a couple of weeks, concerning an artist called Christian Marclay, of whom I was informed by Phil and Rosie, erstwhile Pub Quiz partners.  There is a permanent display of his installation "The Clock" at the Tate Modern in Sodom-on-Thames, and it's really very clever.  Art?

Don't worry, it's not this for 24 hours

     The film is 24 hours long and displays cinematic clocks and watches which correspond to that time in the real world.  It fudges the times a bit by playing some clips longer than others, which is quite okay for me, since it has already taken Mr. Marclay 2 years to put the thing together.
     Of course Conrad could not be told about this and then not try to recall films with times in their title, like, oh, say "3:10 to Yuma".  

Or this.

     We had better change subject NOW or I'll be here until 23:37 -

Cross About Words
As you ought to know by now, your modest artisan is a big fan of the Codeword, a variety of fiendish crossword puzzle without any clues.  You are given one vowel and one consonant, and then have to fill in the rest of the puzzle using a certain amount of logic, a bit of patient guesswork and a varied vocabulary.  Art?

This is EASY - you get 3 letters!

     The thing is, there is an unwritten code about those words not being too complicated or obscure, or the entire process becomes much, much harder.
     So.  Tuesday's Codeword was rather beyond the bounds of acceptable behaviour, you know.  I mean - "OKAPI"?  "GNOCCHI"?  "AUBADE"?  Come on chaps, do play fair!

Talking Of "Twelve O'Clock High"
Imagine you are a pilot, qualified for multi-engined aircraft, with hundreds and hundreds of hours flying experience behind you in a whole variety of planes.
     Then, one day, your employer comes strolling along and calmly says "Right, Paul -" for this is your name - " - I want you to take this plane up - and then crash it.  Right there."
     Enter Paul Mantz.  This chap is a whole blog post in himself, possibly of which more later.  Anyway, whilst you or I would go pale and white at being requested to crash a B17 bomber on purpose, this was meat and drink to Mr. Mantz.  Art?

The remains

     To minimize risks, he took off alone, which had never been done before, as the B17 is a whole lot of bomber with plenty of flight crew.  
     Then he crashed it, the film people got their footage, and Paul went home £3,000 the happier.

Hare-raising stuff.  Or, indeed, hare in the air.

*  I only hope you can forgive me.
**   - because they LIED!