BOOJUM!: What The Hill?

If You Ask Whether That's A Typo -
I shall come after you with a bag full of bamboo skewers, dipped in <thinks> Giant Hogweed sap. Ah, you're laughing now; because, yes, there really is such a plant as the Giant Hogweed - did Genesis record their song in vain? - and the sap induces photosensitive chemical burns on the skin, which at their worst resemble the effects of mustard gas. It is not a plant to be taken lightly, if at all, and should never have been taken from it's natural environs by some dimwit in the first place.*

Giant Hog Breed

Where was I?
Oh, yes, a diatribe about the titles of horror films and books and how they have conspired to confuse your humble scribe. This is as a result of coming across a list of "50 Best Horror Novels", many of which I have read. Then came "The Legend of Hill House", which I don't think I've read, and "The Legend of Hell House", which is a film, except the novel "The Legend of Hill House" was filmed as "The Haunting" and the novel "Hell House" was filmed as "The Legend of Hell House", which is about a haunting. All clear?

Really. As if a skull would still contain a cpmplete eyeball!

What your humble scribe proposes is what the young folk call a "mash-cup", wherein we combine both films and end up with -
"The Hellish Legend of Hill House!"

The House of Mouse: Theatre of Screams

If this gets made up as a screenplay I want royalties.
Next! - we chase the naked motley through a field of stinging nettles and thistles. Then we give it a soothing wash in freshly-squeezed lemon juice.

Dog Days
I was going to put the hilarious pun "Dog Daze" as a title until I realised that, at 07:50 in the morning, Edna is probably sharper and more alert than your modest artisan is. This is because she is slavering over breakfast, both the legitimate one in her bowl and what she hopes to get from my plate. Crumbs! Art?

Edna's apprenticeship in processing e-forms began

Here she has set up shop on my lap as I wait for the kettle to boil, and has helpfully obscured my notes, ensuring we comply with Data Protection (a hot topic at present).

I Beg Your Pardon
A few days ago I mentioned how disgustingly healthy and long-lived the Naked Mole Rat is, and then pondered if, in the near future, Hom. Sap. might not seek to extend their lifespan by, Oh, I dunno - dining on blended Naked Mole Rat meat smoothies? They would undoubtedly taste disgusting, which people would put up with if they could live to an average of 2,240 years, eh?

"I object!" said the NMR.

Which then brought me onto the subject of Stookie Glanders.
No! This is not some ~~hilarious~~ allegedly hilarious South Canadian comic of the Fifties whose schtick was wearing a straw boater back to front and falling down stairs. No, this is a criminal enterprise of genocidal evil ripped raw and bloody from the pages of 2000AD!! -
What's that? So it's not real? Well - er - no. No, it's not real, but it did strike a chord**. Art?

The Stookie in it's natural habitat

The Stookie is a harmless, sentient alien critter that does nothing bad except exist. Oh, and possess a gland that can be used to extend human lifespan, which can only be extracted by killing the Stookie. Which is a bad thing, if you need to know.
Naked Mole Rats, start organising your Resistance movement now!

More Of Model Mayhem
As of last night I laid out the last of my 6mm bases for the 'Square Bashing' Third Ypres scenario I am going to be playing soon. I was accompanied by a downcast dog, who didn't understand that Daddy's Little Toys demanded more attention than she did. Art?

Here we are looking westwards, over the Teuton lines, where the 3rd Guards Division's Lehr Regiment is holding the trenches and fortifications. Those units off the board at lower left represent those situated in the on-board concrete bunkers; they are fixed in place and cannot move, so they hope that Perfidious Albion's soldiery don't manage to storm them! The whole is a somewhat abstracted representation of the Teuton's defence-in-depth concept. Art?

Here we have the British, the three squares on the left being occupied by 51st Highland Division, the three on the right by the 39th Division. The 51st has two brigades forward with one in reserve (currently loitering off the board); the idea is that both go forward and the reserve reinforces whichever is successful. The 39th has two brigades ready to go forward from a single square, implying a bit of a battering-ram approach.
For both attackers and defenders the initial outlay of forces is crucial, and especially so for the attacker. This is because they will never be so well-organised or strong afterwards, when combat casualties mount and units become scattered or forced to retreat. So we shall see if 39th Division's plan has any merit or no-

The real thing.

Finally -
Art seems to be having a bit of a thing at the moment, possibly due to us having weaned him off spent nuclear fuel rods (to the sorrow of Sellafield's accountants) and having got him slumming on a diet of coal again. Anyway, he didn't manage to illustrate the Giant Hogweed, so we'll give him another chance before warming up the Tazer Phalanx. Art?

Giant Dog Feed

No! Dammit, Art - hang on, if you post a picture of a Giant Hogweed, we'll let you also post one of Mara Corday <crosses fingers and hopes this motivation is sufficient>.