How To Put It?

Catching Someone Out In Being Deceitful
More an entity than a person, to be honest (a word some folks would do well to look up in a dictionary).
     As you should surely know by now, Conrad is a flinty-hearted cynical swine, always wondering what the catch is, which occasionally does mean his false positives are actually true.  The issue is today's arrival of 'Empire', the film magazine, an a full-page advert for a fillum called "Mandy", which that underemployed oaf Art can illustrate -

Featuring Nick Cage going full NICK CAGE!!

     Okay, let that one sink in.  Appreciate the full milieu <going for Undergraduate Level in Word Count, are we? - the horrid truth courtesy Mister Hand> for a couple of minutes before I prod our resident Neanderthal with a red-hot pitchfork -

Starboard

      Robbie Collin, of the Daily Telegraph, is printed twice.  It's not deathless prose to be savoured in small doses like Stilton cheese, is it?  Look at the two other sources quoted - "The London Economic" and "Culture Whisper".  Never heard of them, and neither have you, I'll bet.  This is what we jaded observers of the human condition call "padding".
     Okay, time to check out the port side of the advert.  Art?  This pitchfork's still glowing and hot!

Port
(Goes well with Stilton, as a matter of fact)

     Again, Jamie Graham of "Total Film" - which I have heard of - gets two quotes.  And we also have two other entities, whom I've never heard of once again, Indiewire and The Upcoming.  I'm not even going to bother putting quote marks around their titles since your humble scribe has no idea what they are.
     There you go, your lesson in Film Studies for today has taught you something: to be cynical and jaded at all times.
     

Conrad:  jaded, cynical and untrustworthy around loose cash

     Okay, time to give the motley a full body-waxing, then force it into a wet-suit lined with Fieriest English Mustard!

You Won't See This Very Often
Criticising sharks?  Being horrid to weasels?  Complimenting First Bus?
     That last one would be very rare indeed.  No, I am referring to your humble scribe breaking out one of his prized and cherished Map Cases from his Official History of the War 1914 - 1918.
     A little background is in order.  I am currently reading the official history of the Seventh Division 1914 - 1918, and am now up to their involvement in the Somme campaign, right at the start on 1st July 1916, through to 5th July 1916.  The book does have an appropriate map, yet it is a small and monochrome thing.
     Okay, Seventh Division was part of XV Corps, and there is a map relevant to that formation for 1/7/16.  Art?

Large, so you can drink in all the details

     I rarely get these maps out, as I don't want to get greasy fingerprints on them, nor have their edges and folds suffer wear and tear.  Not bad for a 1929 publication, are they?  In fact as a library set I don't think they were ever, ever opened or used.
     There is a far larger version of the postage-stamp sized map in the book.  Art?

     Make this glimpse last, because as I say above, you won't see it often.  It does give a sense of the complexity of the tasks facing Perfidious Albion's army from 26/6/16 onwards, and you're welcome.

Watch Out!
We're under attack by the monstrous Broccoloids (from planet Lortab) - quick, boil a kettle and fetch the elite Guard Ranger Goat Battalion!

Egad!

     Also some butter and a fork.

Continuing With A Theme -
That being the one of people living in undersea communities which are larger than a single chamber possessing an airlock, and having more than a handful of inhabitants.  That ought to exclude "Sphere", "Leviathan" and "The Abyss".  I did search for films with such polities, only for most of the hits to belong to various iterations of "20,000 Leagues Beneath The Sea", and Gosh! there have been many such films.
     Which is not what I was looking for.  My inspiration was that news on the Beeb website that some entrepreneurial pioneer is looking to construct such a rig 1,000 metres beneath the waves.  Deep indeed.
     So far I can only find "War Gods of the Deep/City In The Sea", which is a low-budget yet entertaining take on the idea.  Art?

Sorry, one crossbow does not a War make

     There is a rather cheesy Irwin Allen effort from 1971, dubbed "City Beneath the Sea", which I've seen snatches of, but can't find any on-line version thereof, so it will have to remain a poster.  Art?

Doubtless this is much more exciting than the film itself.

    There is a Japanese production entitled "Atragon" but that's also rather hard to get hold of on-line - although I haven't Youtubed it yet.  The only thing I know is that it features a literally screwy-looking submarine and evil underwater citizens plotting to take over the world.*

Blimey!  I think it flies, too.  Who knew?

      I may have to go off and do a lot more research in order to be able to sustain this theme in future.  After all, if those madcap scamps the Japanese can come up with "Atragon", then they may have other such <ahem> treasures in store. O what hardship, watching cheesy old Fifties and Sixties sci-fi flicks.**


Phew!
You'll be glad to know that The Mansion successfully withstood assault by sentient vegetables, thanks to our gallant omnivorous goaty chums, aided by our large-capacity kettle, and a drawerful of sharp knives.  The battlefield is a ghastly sight, full of Broccoloid dead; too many to allow of a decent burial service.  Art?

A moment's silence, please

     Time to put that butter to good use ...


*  Not if I get there first!
**  Once again, feel my pain.