Arsine About

No!  I Am Not Being Coarse Or Vulgar
We here on the blog may skirt common sense, logic, dialectical materialism and whether to stir clockwise or anti-clockwise but we are most definitely SFW.  This proviso is for native English-speakers, as those unfortunate enough to live in those benighted cultural wastelands beyond the Allotment of Eden are probably scratching their heads in puzzlement.

Or possibly their asses

     Righto.  What does Conrad have an unhealthy interest in?  That's right: zombies, tanks, nuclear weapons, poisons and explosives.  If he comes across anything that combines any of these factors, then his day is made.  If it's radioactive, poisonous and explosive, then his week is made.  Sadly such chemical compounds or elements are rare.  Art?

Plutonium: ticks ALL the boxessdf w*

     And so we come to - Arsine.  No sniggering at the back there!  This is a chemical compound, AsH3, where the "As" is Arsenic, normally a heavier-than-air gas at room temperature.  It is poisonous, of course, and can kill at concentrations of 10 parts per million, or in other words, a dose large enough for you wonder "What is that horrid smell that compounds garlic and fish?" means you're not long for this world.

An Arsine.  Confusingly, also a French lady's name.

     The story doesn't end there, so don't go away breathing a sigh of relief.  It is also highly flammable, which makes for a certain brio in the semi-conductor industry, because they use this vile vapour in manufacturing.
     Oh, it's also pyrophoric, which means at temperatures above 550C it will spontaneously combust.  Does your semi-conductor plant have any hot exposed surfaces?  Oh - it did - which is why it's now spread over a very large area.
     I think it's now time to put the motley into a cement mixer as it rotates, and then chuck in a barrel of tarantulas!**

"Hi mom!" (x4)

Promoting Physical Promulgation Via Prisoner Of War Population
If you'll forgive all those "P"s.
     You have, no doubt, heard of "Pilates", which Conrad used to think was some variety of Latin dance class that ladies took to render themselves more akin to an hourglass, rather than a milk-bottle, and that it was a particularly modern fad.
     Not a bit of it!  Thanks to Indy Neidell and "Out of the Trenches" - a BIG thumbs up for this Youtube channel - I now know different. Art?

One for the ladies

     It turns out that Pilates is named after Joseph Pilates, who hailed from the land of the Teutons (which definitely lacks the Ooomph! of "From the barbarous lands of Rha").  Prior to the outbreak of the First Unpleasantness, Ol' Joe was earning a living in the Allotment of Eden, boxing, circus performing and teaching self-defence to various police forces.
     Then!  As an 'enemy alien' - O how I can sympathise with you Joe - he was "interned", which is much the same as being "imprisoned" except a bit slacker and it looks better in the newpapers.  Whilst thus having lots of spare time, Ol' Joe came up with the Pilates P.E. regime for his fellow internees.

Not entirely sure these are POWs ...

     Thus the name and legend is born.  Ol' Joe showed shocking ungratefulness to Perfidious Albion post-war, when he went back home, before emigrating to South Canada, where he made his fortune.

Dogma
No!  Not the Kevin Smith film, featuring himself, Jason Mewes, George Carlin, Salma Hayek, Ben Affleck - oh and a load of others.  Nor the philosophical concept.
    No, this is about Edna.  The dog.  Currently, as Wonder Wifey is off cruising the briny shallows (the Mediterranean not being especially deep by oceanic abyssal standards), she is under my care and tutelage - hence She Is Ma Dog.  Not to be confused with Mad Dog, which is how she gets used to get if sprayed with water when the weather was hot.  Art?

     Here she is, whiffling away, dreaming about - endless dinners of roast chicken?  Having three hours solid play with the tuggy-bone and squeaky balls? Running the country?  (delete where applicable).

Okay, time to venture into the kitchen and see what we can eat.  Coming, Edna?

Thank You.  I Think.
If you have a retentive memory and look back over the years, you will have noticed that Conrad likes a good murder mystery from the Golden Age, and indeed has just started to watch "The Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club" on Youtube - a Dorothy Sayers mystery featuring Lord Peter Wimsey.
     This fondness is a sure sign of Middle Age.  Once you start liking "Murder She Wrote" then you are Old Aged and not long for this life.

Your clock is ticking.

     Which is why I was quite chuffed to see "Campion" on Youtube, as I have fond memories of watching it on television first time round.  The story was "Mystery Mile", one I'd not seen before.  Of course your humble scribe reasoned out the background to Judge Lobbett's disappearance very quickly -

Campion.  Is champion.

     - were there any more, I pondered.  I checked on the Youtube channel of the person who'd posted it and, no, there weren't.  In fact the only reason they'd posted this particular program was -
     - you're not going to guess it, so I shall tell you: because it involved someone being sucked under in quicksand.

"I say!

     Well, each to their own, I suppose.  Conrad, considering his interests, has little to no room for criticism.

Finally - 
This ought to make sense if you've arrived at this destination via Facebook or Twitter, or as much sense as any of BOOJUM! ever makes.  Art?

Girders

     These are of the steel variety, and, because Conrad cannot resist (or is he going for the 1,000 word target?) here's some girders of a different description:


     With these you wouldn't be girding yer loins, more your torso.
     Okay, not wanting to overstay - do you see what O you do - it's time to begone!


*  Pardon the typoes, my hands just sweat oodles when I think of Pu94.
**  They all volunteered, so don't bother calling the RSPCI.***
***  Umbrella term.  Covers arachnids as well.