Give The Man A Big Han

And Yes, That Is What I Meant To Put
You should know me by now - Spelling Nazi par excellence, typograpical errors not tolerated (peculiar South Canadian spell-checker notwithstandin), what you see is what I meant to put.
     "Ah, another reference to 'Han Solo' and hence that forthcoming film about him?" I hear you sagely realise.  Also "how much longer can he string out one film that's not even been released yet?"*
     I did warn you yesterday that I was going to return to the subject in question, so you've been fairly briefed.  Art?

Soon, my pretties, soon!

     Now, what I want to talk about is the background to the Star Wars universe.  Given that Han is a smuggler and all-round bad egg, there is a peculiar lack of police interest in him.  In fact, the Empire doesn't appear to actually have police; only Imperial Stormtroopers.  Plenty of them, none of the policeman on the beat you might expect to take in interest in bad eggs who smuggle.  Art?

"Look!  A jaywalker!"

     Now, Conrad suspects that the Empire takes an extremely robust attitude towards crime and subsequent punishment, on the principles of 1) Zero tolerance and 2) Summary death sentences and 3) If they're dead they can't re-offend.  Don't scoff at this supposition, because don't forget there's an enormous rebellion taking place against Imperial rule, and has been for years, and knowing that your favourite uncle was executed for taking his library book back a week late is a powerful motivator.  Art?

"Excuse me, sir, but do you have a licence for that stick?"

     You can imagine how law-enforcement goes in the dusty backstreets of towns like Mos Eisley.
     "Look!  A Jaywalker!"  BLAM BLAM BLAM  "Summon a Recycling droid."
     OR
     "He dropped a food-wrapper!"   BLAM BLAM BLAM  "Summon another Recycling droid."
     OR EVEN
     "He dropped a food-wrapper whilst jaywalking!"  "Clear the area, orbital plasma strike inbound in thirty seconds.  Summon all the Recycling droids."

"I deffo heard someone breaking wind."

     Well, there you go, a sterling illustration of how BOOJUM! gets an idea, runs with it, keeps running with it, falls over and crushes the idea and then throws it in a skip and walks away whistling.
     Time to put the motley in a torpedo tube and fire it into the briny depths!**

Conrad - Bitten By The Coincidence Hydra AGAIN
Occasionally I do wonder why the universe can't simply send me a telegram, instead of carrying out all this unsettling stuff and forever hinting.  I'm a man: I don't do hints!
     Here an aside, but it's relevant, so don't complain.  There I was, just waking up on Sunday, when the word "Hecuba" popped into my head.  I wrote it down, just to ensure it didn't get forgotten, not having the slightest idea what it was.  A Babylonian religious devotee?  One of the lost cities of the Matto Grosso?  A delicious variety of fresh sushi?

Sadly, no

     None of the above.  Hecuba was a Queen of Troy in Greek mythology, so heaven only knows why she popped up in my cranium.  
     Jump ahead 24 hours and there I am on the 24 bus (which was slightly late, as of course it can never ACTUALLY ARRIVE ON TIME) doing the Cryptic Crossword, and the answer to one of the questions is "Priam". Art?

     Two photos to prove the point.  The point being, you see, that Hecuba was the wife of King Priam, who just happened to be King of Troy ...

Heck-uba!

Finally -
We are back to the strange ships that make up the Van Oord fleet, because they have lots of them, and they form a useful filler article at the end of BOOJUM! when I need 150 words and don't want to use up my detailed monograph on the influence of "Forbidden Planet" on production design in sci-fi films of the Sixties - although I could - no?  not even an small extract?  Okay.  Art?

The "Aeolus"

     Yes, it does look like something out of 'Thunderbirds'.  It is an Offshore Installation Vessel, which is tasked with the erection of wind turbines at offshore sites.  Once it reaches destination, those legs - no, they are not the tallest ship's funnels in the world evah - are dropped and the whole thing comes out of the water.  Art?

Groovy stuff!

     This would make the best Dinky toy in the world, hint hint if any of their designers are reading this.

     Well I guess it's about time to go do the weekly shop and see what remaindered or date expired near-rotting offal I can find this week!

*  A very long time, if need be.  Well, you asked.
**  I'm not entirely sure what this will do to the motley, but probably nothing nice.