A Matter Of Memory

Or, When You Could Get Away With (Practically) Murder
No!  This is not about dangerous toys of the Cold War, although I still have yet to research and see what tin terror toys with which the Sinisters sought to imbue Soviet passion into their smaller kin.  They have to be out there, right?  I mean, they wouldn't overlook the opportunity to brag about Sputnik and Gagarin and Tereschkova, would they?

Hmmm.  Well, maybe.

     There were other, very dangerous children's toys out there from an early age (if you'll forgive the pun) - and lax import checks and rules mean that these still crop up* - such as the CHILDREN'S GLASS-BLOWING KIT!
     Yes, you read that correctly.  Art?  Evidence!

Glass-blowing -  the MANLY toy for the MANLY boy

     You've probably noticed that the box art speaks to boys rather than girls, meaning 50% of the youth population were thus less at risk of being hideously burned by molten glass.  Notice, too, the complete lack of safety kit.  See any gloves?  Glasses?  Asbestos aprons?**
     Don't forget, glass only becomes molten at about 1,5000C.  In the hands of children ...
     Okay, that wasn't what I meant to begin with, it was just such an interesting aside I couldn't resist. 
     Actually, coming back to this four hours later, I cannot remember what I was going to lead with, so - LOOK!  A FLYING SAUCER!  <points and slinks away whilst all are diverted>

Close enough

"Tank Action" By David Render
I did worry about buying this, not because of the price (£4 at the most) but because I might already have bought it, although a quick scan didn't offer up anything familiar.
     Okay, if you came to BOOJUM! expecting to be regaled with acres of print about Charles Dodgson, nonsense rhymes and Alice, rather than about TANKS! then you have my permission to skip this article.  Only this time, mind.  And I'm both counting and aware of where you live.

                                                                  TANKS!
                                                          (Just so we're clear)
     Okay, Art, provide an illustration.  Now!

My edition

     The interesting thing about Mr. Render's recollections is the level of tactical detail he goes into, concerning his introduction to battle in the fields and hedgerows of Normandy.  His CO, a very switched-on chap called Major Semken, instantly recognised the challenges of fighting in close countryside where engagement distances were short, visibility limited and ambushes were frequent.  They also realised that the Teuton Tiger and Panther tanks had superior armour and anti-tank capability, which is where most historians leave off descriptions.  David goes further, pointing out that the close nature of the bocage in fact put the heavier Teuton tanks at a distinct disadvantage; engagements took place at a maximum of 600 yards, which wrote off their anti-tank advantage.  Art?

Typical bocage

     I shan't go into too much detail today, as I can see your brain glazing over, but we shall return to this topic, O yes indeed!

"Swan Song" By Robert McCammon
I tend to read this every few years, or when I've forgotten the plot details, whichever comes soonest, and it takes a while to read since it's getting on for 1,000 pages in length.  I think we can cattle-prod Art into providing an illustration <sounds of crackling and an unpleasant burning smell>

Thus

     I have finished it, and you know your humble scribe - a nit-picking, hair-splitting pedant who simply delights and rejoices if he finds a flaw in someone's lovingly-crafted work of fiction.***
     "O what now?" I hear you quibble, querulously.  "They describe a Ford Taurus as having an in-line engine when it's actually a V?"
     Not quite, but you're on the right lines.
     Most of the action in SS takes place 7 years after 17th July (the year is not given), when what Herman Khan calls "Spasm or Insensate Nuclear War" takes place, and the world is pretty much blown to hell.  Art?

And yet -

     The survivors, not to mention the rabble militias that call themselves "armies", are still able to drive around in adapted cars and trucks; in fact the amount of fuel they can scavenge is a critical factor in the behaviour of the rabble militias, since they can only keep going if they plunder and steal enough - the analogy of a shark is apt but unwelcome here.^
     NO!  IT WILL NOT DO!
     Petrol (or "gasoline" if you must) only keeps for a maximum of a year.  This error in post-apocalyptic fiction novels, films and television is appallingly common and I will not stop until it has been eradicated from the world.

The noose around post-apocalyptic fiction's neck!

Well, we're already at count, and I had so much more to bore/entertain/frighten you with.  Tomorrow!




*   Parents, quiver in fear!
**  This dates from 1909 when O Boy Yes! they would have been using asbestos as a fireproof medium.  Ironic, eh?
*** There's an error in "Gravity's Rainbow" that I'm going to track down one day.
^  Because Sharks Are Our Friends!