The A-Tea

Ha!  I Slay Myself
Not literally, as that would make me a zombie, and I'm pretty sure they aren't covered in the membership terms of the Writer's Guild.  Also, as a zombie, would my learned behaviour still allow me to brew pots of tea?  Because if not, I'd rather be dead.
     I can guess what you're thinking, but in my defence the target title of the daily post has never explicitly been restricted only to films.  So, why not a television program?
     "Because it was awful!" I hear you retort.
     Tish!  Quality has nothing to do with it.  Besides, your humble scribe is old enough to actually admit having seen the first episode of "The A Team" back in <pauses and goes to check up on IMDB> 1983.

I blame you the public

     Wait, WHAT?  <checks again and gets the same result>  That makes me feel old.  Anyway, the voice - over narration for the pilot had our <ahem> heroes robbing the Bank of Hanoi and being imprisoned for it, which is our first disconnect with reality.  This intro got ret-conned in later seasons, making out our heroes <no ahem this time> to be sincerely good guys who were being chased down by the Eeeevil Gubmint.  There was a girl in the cast to begin with, but George Peppard got her fired, so that's okay.

George looking justifiably smug

     Conrad also seems to remember that there was one episode, which really went above and beyond barmy and you have to wonder what the executives who greenlit it were either drinking, smoking or snorting, about a nuclear power plant being run by Nazis in South America.  Nazis who conveniently kept the uniforms and weapons of the Forties.  At this point - a whole ten seconds into the episode - I gave up and changed channels to "One Man And His Dog"*.

And it's still going.  Erk!

     Here an aside.  OMAHD is a real thing.  Shepherds and their dogs performing tasks against the clock, broadcast on BBC 2 - I really don't think you can get more sheer Britishness into a half-hour program.  Unless you have the dogs wear a bowler hat.
     Anyway, "The A-Team" is a model of shining sanity when pitched against the bizarreness that was "BJ And The Bear".  Which was a blatant rip-off of "Any Which Way But Loose".  That ran for THREE SEASONS.  That says something about South Canadian television networks. 

     TARQUIN (Aspiring television executive and stuffed suit):  I say, Jonquil, look at all this cash we have to spend.  There's simply oodles of it!**
     JONQUIL (Idiot employed because his dad owns the company):  Let's remake one of the finest action adventure fillums evah - "Any Which Way But Loose" except with a monkey to avoid plagiarism lawsuits, and we'll call it a Bear just to be on the safe side.
     TARQUIN:  And they can fight crime!  And vampires!
     JONQUIL:  Yeah!  That would be totally cool!  And they could travel in time!
     TARQUIN:  No.  That would be silly

     They really did have an episode where trucker BJ and his faithful Bear, which is indeed a monkey - no, I don't follow that either - battled the evil undead bloodsuckers.  My mum tutted the day afterwards about how stupid it was, yet she watched it.

An indictment of humanity

     Right!  Back to "The A-Team".  Once again, this pretty much defines South Canadian television.  Over here in the Allotment of Eden, our equivalent would be a program in desaturated pastel tones, set in a grubby kitchen, where the plot revolved about who could quote Marx the most accurately and, most tellingly, who allowed the FISH FINGERS TO DEFROST!
     Did I fulminate against BJATB?  Well, TAT ran for FIVE SEASONS.
     Humanity.  Doomed.

Enough nonsensical whimsy!  back to the harsh reality of cabbages and kings - no, sorry, that was Lewis Carroll, wasn't it, the man who is responsible for BOOJUM! at least indirectly***.  Back to the harsh realities of the 6th MG Company.

The Harsh Realities Of The 6th MG Company
It is a constant theme in the War Diary that their Vickers guns are engaging enemy aircraft, often expending hundreds of rounds in such baleful activity.  Whilst this may not seem a lot compared to the right royal spiffing that places like Lens get on a regular basis - 15,000 rounds being quite common - don't forget that the airplanes have no hard cover and nowhere to hide if below the cloud base.  Nor are they remotely bulletproof, although you'd need to hit them in the engine or the pilot to do decisive damage.

Wow.  Those skies were crowded, eh?

     Then we have training for the unit on 9th February 1918, which Conrad suspects may have come about because the over-enthusiastic machine-gunners of our British American compatriots were engaging all aircraft, regardless of whose side they belonged to.
     Whilst such vim and enthusiasm is laudable, it is less so if it is  your own pilots who are being perforated.  Of course, the diary doesn't actually mention a reason, but your humble scribe has his own dark suspicions ...

Greenlit by Tarquin and Jonquil

*  It might have been twelve seconds.
**  I realise this is probably not how a television executive speaks across the Pond, but - whose blog is it?
***  Hang your head in shame, Lewis, in shame!