Yet not only is it punnery, it is also truth. You see, in but a few weeks I shall be in sole charge of Edna, our Furry Daughter, for this is also the truth. As a result, since I shall also have the car, one of my tasks will be to transport her majesty to Tandle Hill Park for a run-around. So, in preparation for same and to show your humble scribe exactly how to do what, off we all went to the park.
"There is a consolation in the weather being so bad," I unwisely opined. "Nobody else will be daft enough to be taking their dogs for a walk."
Wrong!
After learning the correct way to leash and unleash Edders whilst in the car, we proceeded to the most windswept bit of parkland possible an open space. Art?
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| Simply add howling wind for perfect replication |
We then played fetch with a bright pink ball, until this got old - all of five minutes duration. At this point Edna would race after the ball, ignore the ball, run off elsewhere and generally regard balls and Of No Interest.
A corollary of being out in bad weather on a muddy park is that Edders gets dirty, and requires a dose of shower, which she tolerates rather than enjoys. It is then a tricky task to towel her before she shakes water over the bathroom or hallway. Another lesson learned. Art?
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| New Olympic sport: dog-wrestling |
And with that Intro out of the way, let me tell you that an excursion into a cold October afternoon makes you appreciate a cup of tea even more*.
John Peel's Festive 50
I did bore/entertain/baffle** you with a short item about Sir John Peel last night, and also mentioned his Festive 50, which being a list of listeners three all-time favourite tracks. This institution began in 1976, and the first list definitely echoes John's days on pirate radio: long prog rock tracks. The Beeb website that lists the FF notes that it would require a 5 CD set to accommodate the whole list. Herein a sample:
- 50: Yes, 'And You And I (LP-Close To The Edge)' (Atlantic)
- 49: Little Feat, 'Willin' (LP-Sailin' Shoes)' (Warner)
- 48: Wild Man Fischer, 'Go To Rhino Records (LP-Wild Man Fischer)' (Rhino)
- 47: Roy Harper, 'When An Old Cricketer Leaves The Crease (LP-HQ)' (Harvest)
- 46: Matching Mole, 'O Caroline (LP-Matching Mole)' (CBS)
You can tell JP didn't compile this list as he loathed Yes. Little Feat were an archetypal Southern rock band, and Wild Man Fischer, from what I remember, had all the sanity of a bag of rabid weasels. Roy Harper was a balladeer dating back to the Sixties, and Matching Mole's song is one of the most poignant paeans to loss ever recorded.
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| John, hard at work. If you can call it work. Getting paid to play music? "Work"? Bah! |
Ignoring that snide comment, it is interesting to note that, for a man unable to play a note, JP had a profound and lasting influence on the British music scene, and hence the world***.
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| But what's this? |
Ah yes, I'm glad you brought that one up. This is a still from Top Of The Pops in 1971, with The Faces playing "Maggie May", and yes, that is indeed our beloved John clutching a mandolin, which he PRETENDED to play. It was all a joke, and the director wasn't pleased about it. He couldn't ignore JP because Rod Stewart deliberately danced around him a lot, thus keeping the cameras firmly focussed on our japing John.
Enough of effete overpaid prima-donnas - hang on, I wasn't talking about footballers, was I?
Speaking Of Which -
As you should surely know by now, Conrad has no interest in the game of ballfoot, although he does find the sheer venom of the invective levelled between fans to be utterly hilarious. I know, I know, I'm a terrible person, but we knew that already, didn't we? Last night was a case in point, as Manchester City won their match 3 - 0, whereas Manchester United lost theirs 1 - 2. This, I believe, is what the Teutons called "Schadenfreude", or the malicious enjoyment of other people's misfortune.
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| Conrad wearing Schadenfreude face |
Here's a little analysis. There are 195 comments on the City match report on the BBC webpage, with several barbed jibes about how "Citeh" (apparently this is how you spell it if you wish to insult) are only successful because of £££. Some comments have been removed because they broke house rules - possibly due to swearing or libel issues. And at least one poster was accused of being a BBC shill, although why the venerable Beeb would want or need to inject a comment on a webpage about a football match is beyond me.
As for the United page, there are 729 comments (!) - do these people have nothing else to do? - and a large part of these consist of posters gloating at MU's loss against a much smaller, poorer club. The sum of £350 million for MU's team was mentioned, which is a bit eye-watering if true.
Schadenfreude - non-fattening, gluten-free - but still wicked bad!
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| JP again - a big Liverpool fan |
* Notice that I don't say a "nice" cup of tea, because that's redundant
** Delete where appropriate
*** Perhaps even the galaxy.
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