Mocha Do About Nothing

Ha!  Sticking It To The Man
"The Man" in this case being Windbag Willie Shakespeare, whom your humble scribe cordially detests for making English lessons a trial and a torment.  Not only sticking it to him, but maintaining the drink-based punnery of the past six weeks; admittedly I have branched out a little from tea alone, into coffee - but once again, whose blog is it?

No, Art, you merely contribute.  In between eating coal.

     We'll get back to Willie in a little while, so he can begin to feel a sense of despair and trepidation in the meantime (yes I know he's long dead: poetic licence).
     Okay, now brace yourselves for the adrenaline-pumping action of PEDIGREE PIG BREEDING!
     Except no.  P.G. Wodehouse could make a go of that, and did - Conrad has vague memories of "The Empress of Blandings" being several novels that revolve around a giant sow - but BOOJUM! has bigger fish to fry.
     Literally.  Say hello to the Liopleurodon, possibly the biggest carnivore ever to infest Planet Earth.  Art?

Big green beast at to[

     Notice I was careful not to say "Walk" as this monster was a marine predator.  The very excellent BBC series "Walking with Dinosaurs" describes their version as clocking in at 25 metres length, and weighing 150 tons*.  They may be overstating it a bit, as the fossil record for these creatures is very spotty, but we know that an immature Liopleurodon found in Mexico came in at 15 metres length.
     At any rate, not the sort of swimming companion you ever want to encounter.  Art?

Teeth with fins!

     There you go - BOOJUM! ever the educational tool.  I'm allowed to say that; you are not.
     Okay, Intro over, let us smear honey on the motley and leave it pegged to the ant-hill.

Shakepoke
We've rather neglected the Bark of Avon recently, so let us hurl a bit of oprobium his way.
And, because we are nothing if not self-referential here, we shall re-visit an earlier insult.

"Full fathom five thy father lies."

He went swimming and got a surprise.

For he encountered a Liopleurodon.

It gobbled him up, and then he was gone.

     Actually it probably ate him by accident.  These things are so big a human being is barely worth the effort of opening it's jaws, not to mention Father Dear would have to have gone swimming via a time machine.

"Yes?"

     Er - moving swiftly along, here's another one.  Oh, yes, that one above is from "The Tempest", and the only good thing about that is that it inspired "Forbidden Planet".  Anyway -

"How sharper than a serpent's tooth,

It is, to have a thankless child."

Blimey, Bill, did you have kids?  Forsooth!

Parents by teens are always reviled.

     I have to say Sally, a.k.a. Darling Daughter, was a notable exception to this rule.  She was quite unpleasant to Wonder Wifey once, after which she burst into tears in remorse.  
     Art?

     Male viewers can put their tongues back in, she's spoken for.  

The Spigot Mortar
Ah yes, the brainchild of Colonel Blacker during the Second Unpleasantness.  We have seen how the Colonel came up with a rather crude bomb-thrower dubbed the Bombard, which may - perhaps - have seen action in the Western Desert.  He produced a much more efficient weapon dubbed the PIAT, which was able to stop tanks in their tracks**.  Then there was the Hedgehog.  Art?

A-bristling with bombs

     It was dubbed 'Hedgehog' because the launcher's spigots - remember the title! - resembled a hedgehog.  Art?

Not something you'd want to find snuffling around the garden after dark

     The Hedgehog was intended to make life miserable for submarines, being fired ahead of the warship it was mounted on.  The bombs were contact fused and massed 65 pounds each, and a single direct hit would breach the pressure hull of a submarine and sink it.  They were horribly effective weapons, so much so that even the South Canadian navy adopted them, which is unusual as they are very much of the "Not Invented Here" school of weapons acquisition.  The ironically named South Canadian USS England sank six Japaneses submarines in the space of a few days in 1944.

The Crazies (1973 Iteration)
I am quite pleased with this purchase.  At only 50p it is quite the bargain.  Art?

The left hand one

     On a very small budget, George Romero does an excellent job of depicting the administrative chaos and disorder that erupt in the face of an unexpected and unanticipated emergency.  However, your humble scribe rather suspects that the soldiers clad in white hazmat suits, which make them splendid targets, would have sprayed them with paint to provide a little camouflage.  Art?

Sic

     Heck, even the Liopleurodon had a camo scheme!

*  !!
**  Do you see what - O you do.