- for another day then that makes 2 months of hilarious tea-based punnery. I don't know about you but it impresses me, and since I'm the important one around here, that's what matters.
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| Look out! A scary Polish film poster is trying to hijack the blog! |
Which has nothing to do with John Le Carre, nor his novel "The Looking Glass War", which I dug out of a pile of unread books, as it is a small and compact paperback that fits very nicely into my enormous bag of impedimenta. Quite beside being an entertaining read. It details a rather slapdash operation mounted by a particular body within British Intelligence - but it would spoil the surprise if I told you any more.
Nevertheless, remember that title.
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| Polish film poster, meet my flamethrower. |
Okay! What's this I spy before me? No, not a dagger. You're confusing me with MacBeth. MacBeth = king of Scotland; Conrad = aspiring world dictator.
It's an advert for a television program calling itself "Snatch". Art?
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| Quite bandy, not so snatchy |
Look a them. A right bunch of villains. A band, you might say, in which case they would be a band o' snatch, wouldn't they?
Okay, for further proof that everything is connected to everything else, let us introduce - the Bandersnatch. Art? Hustle now!
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| Looking pretty snatch, but spotted rather than banded. |
"Wowsers!" I hear you comment. "Can you tell us further of this terrifying beast?"
Pausing only to frown at your appropriation of my current buzz-word, I shall explain.
Lewis Carroll wrote "The Hunting of the Snark", from which we get that splendidly evocative word "Boojum" - this may ring a bell with you - and he also notably wrote another work that mentioned the Bandersnatch, that being "Alice Through The Looking Glass".
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| A bit literal |
The BOOJUM! Stable
I did threaten/promise/predict to introduce these beasts, as we seem to have a pretty beastly theme today. First and most fatally, we have Clarissa the Cannibal Combat Chicken. Art?
| Flee! Save yourselves! |
The horrifying end result of South Canadian genetic tinkering, Clarissa escaped from her cruel captors at Fort Detrick - or maybe it was Groom Dry Lake* - and proceeded to tear a bloody swathe across the south-east, where she continues to hide out to this day, covered in Spanish moss as camouflage. If you see her and are not running in the opposite direction at a speed in excess of 25 m.p.h. YOU ARE DOOMED!
Then we have Tony the Ten-Ton Terror Toad. Art? Jump to it**!
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| Caution: for illustrative purposes only |
Another hideous result of over-feeding, and living in the cooling pond of a nuclear power station, Tony is a freelance assassin for both the FBI and the Bethlehem Steel Company. Although surprisingly nimble on his feet, he's not subtle; he assassinates people by sitting on them, which usually reduces them to a sticky red smear. Unless they're from the planet Vulcan, in which case a sticky green smear.
Next is Wally the Weasel. He exists in an hideous limbo, only called into existence when the snows have fallen, so that Conrad can alliterate horribly. Art?
| Wally (Real name Betram Ffortescue the IV) |
Like so: Wally the Wide-eyed Wonder Weasel Wimping His Weary, Wary, Woeful Way Westwards, Wincingly, In A Wet Wolverhampton Winter Wonderland. As I said, that's 15 "W"s, which might well be increased with a little imagination. Heh!
Finally -
Well well well, guess what came up as a Google image when I searched under "Bandersnatch"? Art?
| A Border Terrier |
Connected to everything else, I told you!
Cherish what you got tonight, as the plan is for Conrad and the family to congregate for a meal at Mi And Pho tomorrow evening, which means I may work up words of wonder, but I certainly won't have time to post 'em.
* Better known as <sinister oboe cue> Area 51
** I don't want him getting ideas from those Dog Buns minions in "Despicable Me"
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