Victor's Vandals

Actually That Title Is A Misnomer
Because the Victor I speak of is Victor Davis Hanson, learned scribe of works about Classical Greece, and, as I'm sure you're already aware, the Vandals were a tribe of Eastern European origin who came to prominence in the 5th Century AD, some thousand years after the period VDH is writing about.  They wandered about Europe a lot, did the Vandals, pottering from Silesia in what is now Poland, to the Iberian peninsula (Spain to the down-to-earth), thence to North Africa, and - the thing that really defined them in the opinion of people with a high Tut-factor when faced with peripatetic tribesmen - they sacked Rome in 455 AD.  

Close enough

This is where we derive the modern term "Vandal" from, so pause for thought when you see a man of advanced years with white hair and moustache knocking a bus stop to bits with a hammer; he is the direct lineal descendant of those sackers of Rome!
     None of which has anything to do with what follows, but you ought to be used to this by now.

The Sack of Rome

"Warfare And Agriculture In Classical Greece" By VDH
I think he'll permit me to be a little familiar and abbreviate his name.  It's not like I get invited to cheese-and-wine parties at his farm, is it?
     Anyway, VDH was putting forward theories about how to properly and efficiently devastate your neighbour's farmlands.  The Classical Greeks, you see, liked to be orderly and efficient and scientific in their methods if possible, and this applied to rapine and pillage just as much as astronomy or medicine.  Sorry, but there it is.

Does that shield make him a horses ass?

     So, theorises, VDH, who specifically goes off to plunder and ravage?  One party it is not is the main invasion force of heavily-armoured, heavily-armed hoplite warriors.  They would become very vulnerable to enemy counterattack; so, instead, a motley of lightly-armed troops goes off to hack, chop and slay amongst the crops and farmsteads.  If allowed, they will roam freely across harvests and homes and make themselves a thorough nuisance.  While they practice the art of plunder, the main army of hoplites stands ready to fight their opponents, who may well come out of the walled city to try and protect their agriculture.

Right!  Enough of anarchic nihilism - onto a slightly more constructive topic.

It's Pointless*
Conrad does not set out to watch the quizzical comical cavortings of Richard Osman and Alex Armstrong in the above-named show, but, dammit, he can't but resist taking part once it appears on what was once a cathode ray tube.
     The nature of the questions varies - it would be too easy otherwise - so if any come up to do with football your humble scribe gives up and concentrates on his bowl of Kim Chi Noodle Soup.
     Yesteryon we had two selections that were peculiarly suited for Conrad - Latin names for constellations that needed to be translated into English (Clue: they were all animals), and the initials of a battle with the date fought.  That second was too easy.  VR 1917?  Vimy Ridge of the First Unpleasantness.  MM 1644?  Marston Moor of the English Civil Unpleasantness.  BH 1775?  Bunker Hill during the <hack spit!> South Canadian Revolution**.

The WINNERS at Bunker Hill.

     Ah yes those Latin names.  Corvus - Crow, actually.  Lupus - Wolf, as a matter of fact.  Lepus - Hare.  Hare, not Rabbit!  "Night Of The Lepus" LIED to me!

It is a real thing.  Even if a liar.  LIAR!

     Further to Conrad's perversity - nothing seedy here, ta very much - Alex also took up Richard's bold prediction about how he'd drink Oak Leaf Wine if his prediction failed.
     His prediction failed.
     He was presented with a bottle that Props had given a generic "Oak Leaf Wine" label, because Richard made no bones about disliking the drink.  Nor did Alex.

How bad can it be???

     Now, colour me contrary simply for the sake of it, but I'd like to try some of this, just to see if it's as bad as they say it is.
     The sacrifices I make.

Adrian Carton De Wiart
Yes, back to the indestructible human target.  I did mention he was British, didn't I?
     Skipping over the rest of his First Unpleasantness experiences, let us proceed to Poland, where he was part of the British Military Mission to the newly independent country.  He took part in the war against the Bolsheviks, frequently in the front line, because he appears to have had the world's lowest boredom threshold, and settled in Poland as a resident, where he made a determined effort to cull all local wildlife by going hunting every day from 1924 onwards.

"Ah, yes, this word "fear".  I've heard of it, old chap, heard of it."

     Then the Germans and Russians invaded.  ACDW ended up being pursued to the border with Romania, by Sinisters, Germans and bullets.
     Of course, his adventures in the Second Unpleasantness had only just begun ...


*  And yet slightly more constructive, still.
**  Which, in Conrad's mind, they lost.