How did you guess?
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| Not against me! |
"Kinetic Komet Killers", with a touch of licence. Technically that second "K" should be a "C" but it looks better that way, and, besides, that's how it's spelt in German. And "Niszcsciele" literally means "Destroyers" but the principle is the same, and whose blog is it?
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| I would not argue the point with them |
Yes, we are once again back to the subject matter of Dangerous Astronomy, where you learn that Hom. Sap's existence on the 3rd rock from the sun is quite ephemeral, given how the uncaring universe operates. A nearby nova, supernova or hypernova* would probably boil the crust off our planet - for I have come to see it as mostly belonging to me with you allowed squatter's rights - and render it a lifeless husk. That's quite apart from the risk of being hit by a gamma-ray burst, or being perturbed out of orbit by a passing singleton star.
| Valerie Singleton. She's a star |
With that cheery intro over, let us proceed!
The Constants In Life
First**, a little grounding in grim reality. I'm not going to apologise for such a woeful tone to BOOJUM! as, when you emerge from reading into your quotidian routine, you will find joy and wonder in <thinks> unblocking the sink.
Okay, British winter-time weather remains dark, wet and cold. I can attest to this thanks to having spent uncomfortable hours waiting for buses that are late or, as last night, completely absent. Not only that, the cost of a weekly pass with First Bus has increased to £15.
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| The 24 has arrived! Oh, sorry, no it hasn't |
Splendid. Paying more for less service. Conrad is not sure how this makes economic or even common sense. It's certainly not <ahem> fare.
The Flophouse Facebook
If you are reading this then UNIT have disappeared me and replaced your humble scribe with a sensible smirking android double -
- whoops, no, sorry, that was Philip K. Dick they did that to, wasn't it? I'm still here and still me, which will be very unwelcome news to some.
Okay, back on track, or as close as we ever care to get. Yes, Conrad is now a member of the Flophouse Facebook group, a select assembly of only 8,000 members where your application is vigourously scrutinised before acceptance - at least I'm guessing so, but then again they did let me join. I have already made a post. Only one word, I admit, yet a good one***. Sadly, pressure of work, not to mention BOOJUM! have conspired to restrict having a long and detailed look at it. I may pop along tonight after posting all this scrivel.
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| Elliot, Dan and Stuart. Even funnier on the radio. |
- let me think of something clever to add there. Okay, back to Dangerous Astronomy and Near Earth Objects, those flying rocks that may, one day, fall from the heavens right onto your quivering head. "Quivering" due to fear, not some nervous affliction.
Oh, by the way, I believe there are 15,448 NEOs currently logged, which is both food for thought and sobering. That latter referring to you, for I am sober for the entirety of Janaury.
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| "Zulus, sir, thahsands of 'em" except with rocks |
Okay, just how do you stop a mountain-sized mass of rock from hitting Earth? Why, you alter it's trajectory, of course. Next question: how do you manage that?
There are two methodologies, one of which is Subtle, the other of which is Brutal, and since Subtle is dull, let's look at Brutal first.
Method The First: you take your spacecraft, get it up to maximum speed and slam it into the NEO AS HARD AS POSSIBLE. Given the sheer mass of most NEOs you're not going to shatter the thing, yet that nudge will jog it off course a little. Only a little, so you'd best make the intercept well ahead of impact time, or you might be a little embarassed.
There you go: Kinetyczny Kometa Niszczciele or Kinetic Komet Killers.
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| The Deep Impact spacecraft hits comet Tempel 1 |
Method The Second: You give your spacecraft a multi-megaton nuclear warhead, land on the NEO and DETONATE. This will nudge the errant astronomical visitor off course, guaranteed.
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| We use this - |
As a refinement, just to be extra-specially certain (and because Conrad loves him some enormous explosions) you can have a second spacecraft flying in a couple of hours later, which lands in the seething radioactive crater left by #1, and which then detonates. This way the initial crater acts as a crude type of nozzle and further direct the explosion.
Both these methods are feasible and the first one has been carried out several times, although only in the interests of seeing what the explosion did, rather than trying to pre-empt Bruce Willis.
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| - to do this |
- except we're at count and it's time to post and run.
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| See? SEE? |
* I'm not making these up.
** See what I did there?
*** "Ishtar?" if you wish to know.
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