Johnny Be Good

Or, A Musing On The Human Condition
 - and Original Sin.  Don't worry, this won't be too weighty, you are reading BOOJUM! after all, and nonsense is never very far away.

Like this.  No, I'm not telling what it is.  Heh!

     So, then.  Unless you have been living in a fall-out shelter deep underground for the past sixty years, you can hardly fail to be aware of that song "Johnny B. Goode"*, which is either famous or long past it's best, depending on your point of view.  

Johnny D. Badd?

     What Conrad wonders, is - why the appeal to Johnny to be of good conduct?  This presupposes that he is naturally and normally Bad, or that he expresses in person the Christian doctrine of Original Sin.  Right?  Also, the song lyrics repeatedly tell Johnny to vacate the premises, no less than 40 times, actually, so whoever narrates this song plainly feels that you can't rely on Johnny to ever be good and would much rather that he was far, far away.
     None of which has much bearing on what follows, I'm afraid.

More Of Mark
Mark Kermode, that is, the Guradian's and BBC's film critic (when he's not scaring cats), and the last three of his top 10 films of 2016.
     Number 3:  "Embrace of the Serpent".  Gosh.  Sounds jolly unpleasant.  I guess the serpent in question if one of the hideous great slithering stranglers such as the Anaconda?  Nature red in tooth and scale.  One for the sadists, I imagine, what with all that blood and squealing and the sound of bones breaking like matchsticks.

Besides, this beat you to it

     Number 2: "Notes On Blindness": Wait, what?  Surely a film about blindness is an oxymoron - shouldn't this be a radio play?  Is it in Braille?  Colour Conrad quite confused.
     Number 1: "Under The Shadow": Ah!  Finally something worth watching amongst all this frightfully righteous stuff.  Filmed in Jordan and set in Iran during the Revolution and subsequent turmoil, this is nevertheless a British film.  A ghost story, actually, with good critical feedback from pros like Mark and the viewing public.

Nothing to do with the caped crimefighter

     So, this has been the Top 10, of which there's only 1 I'd care to see.  Circling right back to the matter of Conrad's perversity, we shall shortly be focussing on Mark's Bottom 10, oh yes indeed.

Vitamin B
Here we return to the very thin thread that connects to today's title.  Conrad, as you may already know, is more than passing fond of Marmite, the yeast extract peculiar to Britain.  Sorry to flog the flag rather, but the point has to be made that this stuff does not do well in the export market.  I have seen rash South Canadians eat it directly from the jar, and instantly regret doing so.  Come to that, I have Stephen at work do the same, and then rush to the kitchen to wash his mouth out.
     "Yes, yes, all very well, aging dodderer," I hear you disrespectfully reply.  "The connection to Vitamin B?"
     Pausing only to make sure I make a note to get you back, I shall expound.
     Marmite, you see, is an excellent source of Vitamin B12.  It mentions this on the jar's Ingredients list.

Fine as drink - not sure about on toast ...

     Conrad, curious as a flocculation of felines, wondered why not just list your Vitamins from 1 to 16, or A to P?
     Well, because it transpires that there are no longer 12 B Vitamins.  No, some have been found wanting and expelled from the Definitive List Of Vitamins (the shame!), leaving only 8.  However, these haven't been re-numbered and retain their original numbers, because obviously re-numbering B Vitamins in sequence would fatally distort the space-time continuum.  Or something.

Vitamins are dull.  Have the Crab Nebula instead

     So, now Johnny can continue to be Good, if only his bad behaviour will ab8**.

The Cannon-Armed Spitfire
Harking back to "First Light", the autobiography of young Geoff Meechum during the Battle of Britain and the following years, when he first flew with 92 Squadron.  This was an extremely formidable formation, full of gifted and experienced pilots, who were bad news to be up against.

This baby looks fast sitting still

     Geoff mentions the point during the BoB when his squadron got to swap it's old machine-gun armed Spitfires with ones that mounted two 20 mm cannon,  in response to the Luftwaffe increasing the armour protection on it's bombers.  He recounts, with a touch of ghoulish glee, when a German bomber got in the way of one of his fellow pilots after this up-gunning.  The unfortunate German plane was reduced to aerial kindling thanks to the 20 mm rounds, which goes to underline what Conrad has observed in prior posts about air-to-air combat when it includes cannon.

Finally
Rather than end on a rather gloomy note, and to prove that the Teutons are now our terrific friends, allow me to post a picture of Blutwurst:

O bounty of blutwurst!

*  Of course I mis-spelled the title on purpose!  What, you think I make spelling mistakes?
**  Sorry.