I Say, Here's - Hairy Ears

Or, The Persistence Of Memory
(Or, Do Not Believe Steve)
Congratulations to anyone who can figure out how Conrad's mind works, as he is not confident he understands it himself. 
     Take Steve, for example.  Steve is Conrad's memory and rarely gets a mention in BOOJUM! as he is usually a boring cipher.
     Usually.
     Mere days ago I was pondering on my self-appointed role as a fervid corrector of grammar, whether you like it or not, and I recalled a novel from my long distant youth, about a collection of cats - talking ones, of course - where one cat made a statement along the lines of "I got a idea", only to be instantly corrected by the cat-equivalent of Conrad* - "I have got an idea".  This, inevitably, leads to japery when the first idea is rubbished and the cats turn to the corrector for that idea he had -
     Okay, Steve, thanks for that.  What's this novel called?  My memory seems to recall "The Hunting Of Skafell Pike" which doesn't seem quite right.  Searching on Google and Abebooks reveals nothing at all.  All I could remember is that Pike, the villain, had hairy ears -

We're on a winner ear.

     Oho.  What's this?  "The Hunting Of WILBERFORCE Pike" - Steve possibly conflating the title with a location in the text.
     Well, now I know, I won't be purchasing the copies present on Abebooks, as they are £7.22 for a paperback with postage.

Oh Jamon Serrano!
That's Spanish for "Ham" in case you were wondering, and even if you weren't.  Ham Serrano, which is possibly additionally Spanish for "Serenade" and I will indeed sing praises to this mighty meaty morsel.
     It is still going strong, over 3 weeks after we started to gnaw upon it, although I hope it will be finished before Easter.

Progress report

     You can see that there is visibly less of it now, thanks to my dedication.  A warning to others in the household:  any threats to the Serrano and I shall relocate it to the Upstairs Lair.

Glooming In The Gloaming
Rather than pad today's post out with a whole lot of descriptive piffle, allow me instead to post a picture that tells at least eight hundred and fifty words, maybe even nine hundred.  Art?

What?

     No, this is not Jan Svankmajer let loose with a PC and Photoshop, it's a picture of Royton I took this morning, looking downhill from the bus stop.  As you can see, a grimey grey glim just about sums it up.  I believe Tacitus had something to say about British weather - "The climate is wretched, with its frequent rains and mists."
     Here an aside.  Our disgustrous weather is probably one explanation why we were last invaded in 1066, as sitting for nine months of the year in a vertical bath does not appeal overmuch.  "Conquer Britain and get rheumatism!" doesn't make much of a rallying call, either.  Oh, and the Normans?  Lived just on the other side of the Channel, so their weather's not that different.
     Back to the buses.  Yes, I realise we weren't on this subject before, do keep up, these mental gymnastics are good for you.

A computer bus.  Close enough

     The buses, I was saying.  Given the mist, and the limited time available to identify the number on the service as it rounds the corner, having a non-illuminated display, as the 24 frequently does, adds a fascinating extra dimension to morning travel**.  I suppose First Bus's attitude is "Yellow lettering on black, works for wasps, it'll do."
      Not in the dark and mist it won't!

First Bus's latest: stealth-enabled buses in night service

Desperately Dull Diversion
If you are one of the tranche of recent readers, you may be unaware of your humble scribe's creation of possibly the most boring game ever.

This would run it close, though

IMDB Goof Auditing!  Ha!
     "Er - okay, oh snowy-haired scribbler, what exactly is this painful penance of playtime?" I hear you query.
     O I thought you'd never ask!  IMDB is the "Internet Movie Data Base", which is as it says.  One section for each film is devoted to Goofs, or visible errors.  

Proof I'm not making this up

So your modest artisan copies this list to a Word document, gets rid of duplicates and arranges them in alphabetical order, which is quite time consuming.  Then I check the film to see if these Goofs are correct.  Wouldn't you know it, only about a third are, another third being simply wrong and another third can be explained away with a little imagination or handwaving.
     This hobby has taken a back seat of late, as it is awkward to have a DVD playing as reference, whilst dodging back and forth between PC and player in order to check the Word document.
     Enter the Laptop!

Note the DVD drive, extreme right

     Not quite as dramatic as Enter The Dragon, yet more relevant.  This puppy has a DVD drive, meaning it can be propped as above to play the film in question whilst Conrad divides his attention betwixt DVD and doc.
   


*  Obviously the hero of the piece.
**  This is irony, laid on with a shovel, for our South Canadian readers unfamiliar with it.