Kijke Kijke Niet Koope!

We Have Fans -
 - in the Netherlands!
     Please note that I do not deem this country "Holland" as this is actually only one of the Dutch provinces, not the entire country itself.  We owe the Netherlands to the Revolt of the Spanish Netherlands back in the 16th Century, if you care to know.  The Netherlands revolted*, and the Spanish empire fought back - it struck back, even - and eventually reclaimed what is now Belgium.  The rest remained defiantly free.

A very complicated historical lesson in four easy pictures

     "What is the drun - oh, no, he's sober for January, isn't he?" I hear you quibble.  "What on earth is that title?"
     'Looking looking not buying" is the translation.  This is because the Dutch are canny folk who know how many pfennigs go into a guilder, or at least they did before the Euro ironed all romance out of coined specie.  They like to inspect before buying, or just inspect.

"Okay, chaps, best behaviour whilst looking and NO TOUCHING!"

     Okay, hopefully this blatant pandering has cemented the solid bond between Boojum! and the beautiful burghers of Bleskengraaf.
     Why yes quite a few Dutch people have been reading BOOJUM!  How did you guess?

HORROR IN THE HEAVENS!
Ah, I just like scaring you lot.  Yes, we return to what Conrad likes to call "Dangerous Astronomy", in that those heavenly bodies hurt like the devil if they fall to earth. SO, what can you do to avoid having a Near Earth Object hit you on the head?
     Individually, not a lot.  There is an international effort to deal with the problem, so your Conrad-induced panic can subside a little.  A little.  Don't get complacent!
     First comes accurate observation of LV-462; with this, if your NEO comes a-calling then you know exactly how long you've got, which is important.  The longer the lead time the better, because if you intercept LV-462 when impact is still years away, you only need to make a comparatively small change in it's orbit at that time.  Several years later that small change has been magnified hugely and the NEO misses by ten million miles.

Oh boy!  My palms get sweaty just thinking about this!

    Conversely, if you leave it in the pious hope that Superman will show up and save the day, you have to make a correspondingly greater change in the orbit, as the date of impact is now much, much closer.
     There is actually a skywatch project looking for imminent impactors, where LV-462 is spotted with only weeks to go before it hits Terror Firma.  This is far too late to alter it's trajectory, but it does allow Ground Zero to be plotted and evacuated - better to be homeless than an expanding cloud of vapour, right?
     Tomorrow - the Sails Prevail!

No, Art, not that kind <sigh>

I Say Hastings Ismay**!
Yesterday Conrad suffered a rare affliction known as "the tidies", which is a serious malady indeed, thankfully rarely experienced.  Allow Art to show you the "Before" picture:

An hideous farrago of faff

     The tidying process took at least 30 minutes but was worth it for the re-discovery of my quill pen.  Here we have the "After" picture:

Tidier!

     It is so tidier!  It is!

What On Earth?
As you know, BOOJUM! is eminently SFW, with the proviso that people may not actually understand what your humble scribe is banging on about.  Thus we use the epithet "What On Earth", sometimes abbreviated to "WoE" in lieu of the profoundly unSFW "WtF".  Or "Dog Buns" instead.
     Anyway, Conrad's sense of wonder, as in "I wonder what they were drinking, smoking or snorting" came to the fore today.  Art?

"Today I deserve this"

     Conrad is a little nonplussed at Batman in his mask and cowl whilst wearing a dressing-gown and without anything on his feet.  I can forgive him not being aware that he'll catch his death of a cold as he lacked any input from Mum beyond a certain age -
     What I'm curious about is - who exactly is speaking here?  Is it Bats, gloating about getting the makings of a Lobster Thermidore?  Because, frankly, it sounds like a sentient lobster with an immense sense of self-loathing is volunteering itself for the oven***.

And You Think You Have It Bad
Whilst a lot of you whinge about the dark and rain and wind in the distance from the bus stop or car park to your place of work, spare a thought for the chaps at work in this:

A meadow of mud

When I took this picture it had only just gone 12 o'clock so the workers on that patch of slimy silt have at least another four hours to go.




*  Notice no tasteless jokes here.
**  One of Churchill's military advisers and a mate of Anton De Carton Wiart
*** Or pan.  Conrad completely ignorant of how Lobster Thermidore is prepped.