What The Hell, Boy!

Actually That's Me Cheating Again
There ought not to be a comma in there, it should just read "Hellboy" but you know me, never one to miss the opportunity for a cheap pun.  Cheap, moderate or extremely dear, Conrad has no scruples when it comes to click-baiting the viewing audience out there.
     Anyway, allow me to add a picture that may come up as the default on Facebook once this scrivel gets posted.  Art?

The lad hissen*.

     This may be the version that most of you out there are familiar with, from the films, although the purists will of course have immediately have had this image pop up in their mind's eye.  Art?

What it says on the tin, and then some.

     So, Hellboy, the creation of Mike Mignola, who hissen was due to be signing at 'Travelling Man' in Manchester between 2 and 4 on Saturday 29th October.  Appropriate date.  Conrad decided to risk his skin in what is known as "Gomorrah-on-the-Irwell", or Manchester if you're being formal about it, so get an item or so signed by the man hissen.
     'Get there about 3 o'clock when the queues's died down,' I pondered.
     Foolish Conrad!  Ignorant Conrad!  Optimistic Conrad!  Let us see Queue Part One as of 3:15 p.m.  Art?

Unseen: an equally long queue inside the store

      The queue persisted around the corner.  Art?

Oh dear

     Then we had Paolo of the staff come round to chat a bit with folk.  
     "At 4 o'clock he'll just go," informed Paolo.  Gee, thanks for that soul-dampening information, Paolo.  Conrad did not feel confident about even getting inside the store for that time.  In compensation he took a photo of Mike - us fans can call him that - from the back, determined to have at least something to show for his trip and a metaphorical snoot-cocking to Paolo.  Art?

The man from the rear

     Then another fifteen minutes later I was able to capture another perspective, this one from the side.  Not for any kind of artistic profiling, just so I could snap my fingers at Paolo.  I hoped the lady sat by Mike's side didn't think I was being creepy with this tangential photography.  Art?

That's either his wife, or Americans are very casual about mistresses ...

     One of the reasons it took so long to get into the store - 4:15! - was because some fans, and I hesitate to use the word "geek" as it would make them seem sexy and interesting by comparison - were bringing in entire comic collections, not to mention toys and other purchases, to be signed.  Conrad watched with mixed amusement and seething nitric ire as one of these characters presented individually-wrapped comics that needed to be removed and replaced after signing -

HURRY UP MY FEET HATE YOU!

     - really, 'Travelling Man' might have had a limit on how much crud you could present to the man - what's this?  Two ladies who threaten my status as Oldest Person In The Queue?

In case your memory slipped

     Anyway, I got to meet Mike, and greeted him with a handshake and a couple of things to sign, including my "John Carpenter: Lost Themes" liner notes, which he found a little unusual.  Unlike everyone else at work, Mike - and his lady wife - had heard of John, which proves how cool both he and I were.  Art?  Proof of cool.

How to look charming and personable - stand next to a big grim greyhair.

     I believe he stayed to sign everybody's articles, which must have taken him to about five o'clock.  Nor was he averse to talking to people: he told one person the fear was that only three people would turn up (see photos to scotch this fear).  Another memorable anecdote was the rain in the UK; according to Mike it only rains about three days per year in San Francisco, so it was a refreshing change to encounter this weather phenomenon here.  Well, Mike, you certainly chose the right city for it!

Signed!

     Before you go, it transpired that I wasn't the oldest person in the queue.  The mother of the lady behind me was 73, and her daughter was present on behalf of her son.  Said daughter related that her son lived in Canada, so she had been going through hundreds of comic books to find the two that he wanted her to take into Manchester to get signed.  Neither lady had ever heard of "Hellboy" in print or filmic form, so either they have lead shockingly sheltered lives, or - or people just aren't that into the things I am.  Art?

For example, this is not a film yet

     Right, I think that's enough of mixing it in Manchester.  Next up - if you're lucky - the John Carpenter gig.

Hellboy.  In case you forgot

*  Northern dialect for "himself", just - because.