Eels: Rock Band Conquers Universe!

Well - Kinda
This, like all good things (and not a few bad ones along the way), is going to take a bit of explaining.  First of all, we have Mr. E, the driving force behind Eels, which is an interesting metaphor as, whilst we have the aphorism "herding cats", I don't think I've ever seen one along the lines of "marshalling eels".
     Anyway, Mr. E is more formally known as Mark Everett, famous son of the not-at-all famous-unless-you're-a-quantum-physicist Hugh Everett.

Ticks all boxes!

     "Who?" I hear you chorus.  "He's not some minor character in "Torchwood", is he?"
     NO!  He most certainly is not.  No, Hugh is responsible for what we will call the "Many Worlds" concept of quantum physics, which - take this on trust, the maths behind it fills whole libraries - means that there are an infinite number of realities that parallel our own, where things may diverge very very slightly from our own reality (ABBA remain an obscure Finnish pop group and the hideous musical monstrosity "Mama Mia" is never created) or by a huge margin (George Washington and his treacherous ingrates are righteously defeated in 1777).

Mr. E - by his own admission, unable to add up a grocery list

     So, somewhere, off in Alternative #857 x 106, Mr. E is indeed the local global dictator.  Meanwhile, back on Planet Earth (Reality #1), we have - 

"Theodore Rex"
This film came up in conversation on that early morning lifter-of-spirits, the Flophouse.  As happens on occasion, Elliott had been suborned to go do his real world job, with a guest star in place.  Whilst discussing "The Sound of Music Thunder" Stewart and Dan mentioned "Theodore Rex", leaving their guest (sorry they didn't introduce him) gagging* with excited disbelief.
     "Is that a REAL film?" he gurgled, clearly unsure if the capricious and cruel Flopsters were telling the truth or not.

Whoopi on the left.  Just so you know

     They were.  O were they ever.  Starring Whoopi Goldberg back when she was big box-office (1995), she rashly agreed to do this, probably when drunk at a party.  Having sobered up the following week, she tried to back out of this commitment, only to be threatened with a $20 million lawsuit.
     She settled for a $7 million paycheck**, and a simmering sense of injustice, if not outright hatred, that permeated her entire performance.  Since her character was a surly, gruff, grizzled detective nobody noticed the difference.

CGI Smile

     The real problem came when this cinematic clinker*** was released, although you may have already guessed where things had gone wrong:  "In an alternative reality where humans and dinosaurs co-exist, someone is killing off dinosaurs ..."

Chicxulub: the Number One Suspect

     It was an extremely silly premise.  Not only that, Whoopi refused to have anything to do with the film once principal photography was done; they had to CGI her into any publicity shots being shot.  The studio suits who had, shortly before, been rubbing their hands with glee at having shoe-horned a star into their vehicle, threw up those very same hands in horror and consigned the whole thing to Direct To Video.  At $30 million for the day this was a very expensive mistake, which manages to score as high as 2.4 on IMDB.

Wooden't It Be Nice -
Ah yes, recall the splendid accordian opening of that Beach Boys classic, which has nothing whatsoever to do with the following.
     I know, I know, typical me <snorts in an hideous imitation of laughter>!
     Art? Picture, please.

O boy what a question!

     I think Conrad would be a "Lumberjack" here, or, if you want to be all contemporary and shizzle, "Logger".

Yeah!

     It's no j-oak.

Of Matters Korean
Back in the day when BOOJUM! was just starting out, we used to mock North Korea, because they were such an easy target.  Of course, now that we avoid Politics, Religion and Currant* Affairs, and also because kicking a comatose man when he's lying supine at your feet with a "Please Kick Me" sign offers no challenge, we have moved on.  Slightly.
     So, I have been watching "Train to Busan" this weekend and can only recommend it to you K-zombie movie fans out there.  Well worth a watch!  Indeed, you don't need to be a fan of Korean films to enjoy it.  Please persist in locating a film venue showing it - in Manchester, officially known as the Second City Of Europe, we have only one cinema with a limited release.

Read it and weep, First Bus!  WEEP!

*  4 "G"'s - a word with some gravity about it
** Note correct spelling
*** "Clinker" = ashy waste
*  Sorry.  Baking a cake with dried fruit in it tonight.