The KILLER KOWS From The MURDER MEADOW!

Excuse The Hyperbole
Come to think of it, why do we never hear about "hypobole"? for the understated and de-dramatised?  Because that's what we British are like, and I'll be going on about this later.
     As I admitted, I overstated the issue a bit, because - well, because I like baiting people in here with nonsense or double entendres, and let's face it, a couple of cows grazing is a rather dull headline.
     "Ah yes," I hear you squeak, heading for the door.  SIT BACK DOWN!  This is interesting, really.
     This Intro comes out of your humble scribe's devotion to duty over his care of Edna.  As I like to say, one heck of a dogsitter even if a big bull - well yes, let's move on from bulls to cows.  For her second, Long Walk, I decided to venture left at the gates of Tandle Hill Park, down a track that I've never seen anyone else use.  It was surprisingly unmuddy given the recent rain, for which I was grateful as neither Edna nor her bathers enjoy a dog-in-a-shower.  My plan was to follow the track to it's end and then let her off the lead for a runaround.
     Foiled!

There they are.  Killer Kows.

     I realise you can't see the murder in their eyes, but it's there, take it from me.  Oh yes.  Releasing Edna amongst these bovines really wasn't an issue, as her ferociously sharp canines can easily sever a cow's leg at ankle height*, and I didn't want to be responsible for wobbly cows.  On the other hand, their razor-sharp devil's hooves could easily make literal dogfood of a small hound like Edna, in which case Farmer Giles would find Were-Wonder Wifey, sodden with gore, baying at the moon over the slaughtered carcasses of his Murderous Moo-Moos.  Right next to the corpse of Conrad.
     So!  We diverted into the woods, where it was exceedingly difficult to get a still photo of the little sprout, as she trotted to and fro incessantly when off the lead.  Art?

     Again, it was thankfully dry under the forest canopy, so no mud.  Or bloodthirsty bovines.

Come In Number 6, Your Time Is Up
Conrad is somewhat long in the tooth and remembers that classic television series "The Prisoner", featuring Patrick McGoohan, with a final episode that still has people asking 'What the heck was it all about?'
     One of the more memorable characters were the "Rover" units, which appeared to be giant inflatable balloons that raged through The Village in slow motion, roaring.  Art?

You sissy, it's full of hot air!

     Consider me surprised, and not a little creeped-out by an advert for "Sony 4K HDR", whatever that is.  Some hideous digital device, no doubt, but life is too short to bother about that.  Art?

Not feeling the love, frankly

     Really.  If I have trouble sleeping tonight, Sony, the bill for sedatives will be winging it's way to your door.  4K HDRover is more like it!

"In The Teeth Of The Evidence" By Dot Sayers
I can call her that as we're such terrific chums. One of the books I bought last week, and allow me to show you the cover.  Art?

"FEATURING LORD PETER WIMSEY"

     That's what it says, and if by "Featured" you mean "Only 2 of the 20 short stories in here actually really feature Lord Peter Wimsey" then you are certainly accurate.  One way, I suppose, to string out a small number of short stories over many volumes and diddle us LPW fans out of our money.
     Not in future, matey.

25 Things The UK Does Better Than South Canada**
Thank you Mike, for a couple of things that I dare not use as they impinge upon politics, which as you know is anathema to BOOJUM! unless there's higher traffic in it, in which case scruples go out the window.
     Here's the first one:

Yes I have contracted the title somewhat

     As Mike points out, we here in the Allotment of Eden get our taxes deducted at source, which is something so basic that your humble scribe never paused to consider the logic of it, merely the pain of paying it.  Over in South Canada, they have to fill out reams of complicated forms and get it right or face a lifetime in prison.  Or something equally bad.
     Next:

Ahem.  Sometimes more honoured in the breach here at BOOJUM!

     Given that my earlier post today consisted mostly of an ill-tempered shrieking rant at the wickedness of computers, this might seem a little out of place, but it genuinely does apply to your modest artisan, bar PC problems.  As the joke goes, "ISIS declare all out war on the UK; Condition raised from "Mildly Peeved" to "Slightly Miffed".



*  This may not be the correct word.  If you want that, go ask Farmer Giles.
** That hilarious appelation is now being reused.