The Horror Haddock - Of Vladivostok!

I Know, I Know -
Pushing the "EVIL FISH!" theme again, well it worked earlier this year and I promised not to abuse Star Trek for a while, so - here we are with the perverse piscines.
     Seriously, if a haddock turned up in the waters outside Vladivostok, it really would be a horror fish, as Vladivostok is in the far east of Russia.  Art?

Art gets it right for once.

     There you go, bordering the Sea of Okhotsk.  Now, the haddock is a native of the North Atlantic, and the North Atlantic exclusively.  So if it turns up swimming in Golden Horn Bay, it must have walked there across Russia.

Horror Haddock, sunbathing

     The other alternative, that it swam there, is an equally horrifying possibility -

Horror Haddock: normal haddock on atomic steroids

     - as it would render the normally inoffensive fish into a musclebound maverick monster.
     So there you are.  The future - full of frightening fish.

A Bit Of Self-Promotion
SIT BACK DOWN!  This won't take long, I just like to blow the trumpet every so often, to prove that there are other people out there reading this scrivel*.

My Profile picture
No longer strictly accurate

Profile hits: 3,572
Pageviews: 18,683

"Posts" is a little misleading, since that total includes 6 Drafts that never got posted.  Still, well on the way to a thousand.
Posts Last Month: 983
This is liable to increase as folks look at older posts in September
World Viewer Snapshot:

Unsurprisingly for a blog written in English, the UK and USA are either the nations with the best taste, or the worst.
     There!  That wasn't so bad, was it?

A Bit Of Profundity About The Time Of Year
Within a week of each other we have the festivals of Halloween and Bonfire Night here in the UK.  Halloween, when the Devil rides out, or more probably nowadays drives out, in a Ford Thunderbird without a catalytic converter.  Bonfire Night, when people gather to celebrate dangerously with beer and explosives, wondering what could possibly go wrong?

This.

     Both of these ceremonial events take place in the dark, as it's gone night by 18:00 by the time Halloween comes around, and even more so with Bonfire night on the 5th of November.  Would either of these events have the same impact if they took place a couple of months earlier?  Consider Walpurgisnacht, which occurs on the 30th of April, in other words when it remains light at night - and how many of you have heard of Walpugisnacht?  No dark and sinister backdrop, you see.
     Not making any great point, just a bit of speculation.

You What? 
Hopefully the other passengers on the bus didn't worry toooo much about Conrad, snickering away in his window seat.  I did have good reason, you know, having just seen a spare wheel cover with the logo:

"TERRANO TROUT HUNTER"

     Having Googled earnestly for ages, I cannot find a wheel cover with such a logo, which makes me wonder if it's not a one-off special for someone who's a little confused about how you actually catch trout.  Hint:  it's not with a shotgun and a retriever dog***.

Meanwhile, At Strategic Rocket Forces Base Number Sixteen, Novi Palatinsk -
Whilst that idiot the Colonel is on leave on the shores of Lake Baikal, Major Lermontov, the astute second-in-command, is having road-mobile "Topol" missiles put into silos, to prove that it can be done.  Since the most sober officers on the base are Misha and Grisha (no money left to buy vodka!) he has chosen them to supervise the operation.

Misha (nearest the camera): Can you guess what it is yet?

What's In A Name?
As you surely know by now, Conrad enjoys mucking about with language, and - well, let's just say that certain big budget films now on release have their "mockbuster" Asylum equivalent^.
AMERICAN SNIPPER: "Shear adrenaline entertainment!"
THE FARTIAN: "He's so gassy it so not classy!"
INSPECTRE: "Don't make a fuss - on HIS bus!"
     Well it makes me laugh.  Once again, whose blog is it?

Respect The Hyphen!
For it, and it alone, lies between you and the terrifying world of grammar gone bad.  Grammarmageddon, even^^.
     Today, let me illustrate the point with:  "Well-fed"

Conrad knows who ate all the pies.  But he's not telling

     Without that hyphen, you'd face the horrifying reality of anthropophagous^^^ architecture.

Well, fed

* I'd still write it even if nobody read it, har-har**!
** Probably.
*** Unless you're Withnail
^ Not really, I made all this up.  Not going to let them steal my thunder!
^^ Sorry.
^^^ Man-eating.  Woman-eating too, for that matter.