The Doctor - Under Water

Aha, Not In The Way You Think!
You're thinking of last night's episode, aren't you?  Well, don't worry, we'll get there in the end.  But first, we must whiz back forty years to the Fourth Doctor.  Yes, we must.  No avoiding it, sorry.
     Okay - this will all make sense in a little while.  Recall, if you will, "The Talons of Weng Chiang", that Victorian melodrama wherein the Doctor and Leela take on evil from the Forty-Second Century.  Much of the drama takes place in a Music Hall ("The Palace Theatre", and in the cellars and sewers beneath it. Various odd noises heard by the staff are dismissed as being sounds made by the Fleet River, long covered over  by this time: " the River Fleet runs right under these foundations."

The River Fleet: a fixer-upper with low rent and no neighbours!

     Not so!  And indeed the Doctor has to make his way to the Thames where it merges with the Fleet, and - backed up by an awesome piece of smoothbore musketry of epic dimensions - explores up the sewer, dealing with giant rats along the way.

NO!  Art!  Where's my Tazer -

Ah, far more terrifying!

     Well there you go, after a longer and more rambling Intro than usual, let us get to the meat of the matter.

The BBC, Touchstone Of Truth
Well well well*, in a matter of speaking.  What do we have here on the Beeb website but - the covered waterways of London.  Principal amongst these is the - River Fleet.  Allow me to illustrate -

The river Fleet.  Still a fixer-upper

     Surprisingly enough the brickwork is still pretty much as when constructed back in Victorian times.

Either take mine and the Beeb's word or - go see for yourself.

     You can take a tour of the city's covered rivers, should the fancy take you.  A bit of a commute for Conrad, but the legions hundreds dozens three readers who live in London might care to stroll along them.  Meet the Fleet, as it were ...

Doctor Who: "Under The Lake"
"Aha, the proper Doctor Who!" I can hear you chorus.
     Watch it!  Conrad grew up with the Original. Less of your "proper".
     Set in The Drum, an underwater oil-platform of 2119 AD, we discover that they have discovered an Alien Spaceship on the seabed, which is brought inside the base in order to have a nosey at it.  The ship's interior is pretty empty, bar some etchings on the inner hull, empty and featureless, reminding this viewer of "Quatermass and the Pit", if you must know.

Hmmm.  Quatermass and the Pit crossed with Colonial Marine Dropship

      Then, of course, things go horribly wrong.  Their Boss is killed and returns as a ghost, in the company of another ghost, both of whom are, in the Doctor's words "a bit murdery".  The Doctor and Clara have turned up to see what turns up: which is murdery ghosts who can only appear at night, and whom can't penetrate the emergency shelter, which doubles as a Faraday cage.  Nice touch, that.

The Deadly Duo.  Shortly to be Trio

     Another nice touch are The Cards, written out by Clara for presentation to the Doctor so he can read them out, in order to compensate for his hideous lack of social skills.  Really!  You know, the Third Doctor <Mister Hand intervenes in the sake of both brevity and mercy>  Pall Mall Club. With oysters and a bottle of Chablis!

Social skills: Poor  Intellect: Off the scale

     Where was I?  O yes.  The etchings act as a kind of psi-meme**, affecting everyone who sees them, which is everyone.  
     Then the survivors send out their remote-controlled submarine to retrieve what the psi-meme had given a location for - the alien ship's fridge, inside which would be a delicious variety of cooked and chilled food the pilot in suspended animation.  The virtual sub exploration was a cunning ploy, as it excluded the need for any cast members to don a pressure suit and do underwater filming.
     Then - as mentioned earlier today - IT'S A TWO PARTER!   Dog Buns!  And look, the Doctor's died and turned all ghostly ...
     Ah, well, till next week.

Actually, before we go -

Seventh Doctor: "Battlefield"

     This scene also takes place Under The Lake.

I suppose my musings upon Walpurgisnacht will have to wait until tomorrow.

* Do you see what I - O you do.
** I don't know if this exists as a proper word yet. If not, you read it here first!