The Evil John Dory Of Tobermory!

I Suppose I Shall Have To Explain
Way back in the early months of 2015, I posted quite a few entries that played upon the theme of "Fish", usually hideously ferocious or mutated or zombie or all three at the same time.  Take, for example, "The Atomic Cod Of Novgorod":

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 - which the above links to.  It got a fair few hits, probably from Russians wondering what on earth nuclear fish had to do with their city, and if it was some sinister NATO plot to hide ICBM's within innocent piscine intruders.

"The one that got away?  It was this big."

     Anyway, having dragged evil fish into the equation, I decided to return there with the John Dory.
     Art?  Put down that nutty slack* sandwich and post a picture!

Not, one has to confess, the most handsome of fish

     Since the Dory inhabits coastal waters, there is every chance that there are some off the coast of Scotland, including Tobermory, and - well, really, just look at it! - evil personified.

The Haul
Normally I post this on the day I acquire the goods, but there was a little too much to include in yesterday's posts.  So here is Conrad's barely-suppressed gloating about what he got:

All from Fopp!
One of Gong's finest moments, the NY definition of dance -
- and "Low", heard over the PA.

     A couple of free publications as well - "free" always goes down well with your humble scribe - and I actually know some of the artists mentioned.  Nowadays I have to listen to Youtube to see what these bands sound like <sad face>**.
     After a millisecond of mourning, on to the DVDs -

Stakeland, Brothers at War and American Sniper

     I got "Stakeland" because I saw a <cough cough> version and liked it, "it" being a very grim take on the vampire film indeed.  No sparkly emo-elves*** in this film, just Pure Evil With Big Fangs.  The Rule of Conrad is, if I've seen and liked it, I have to buy it.
     "American Sniper" because it sounds interesting and may be one of Clint's last films - he's getting on a bit, you know - and "Brothers in Arms" because it was only £2.  Yes I know that's disgustingly shallow.  Whose blog is it?
     Finally, the books.  It was an effort carrying this lot home, they weighed a ton.

Let's see: The Informer, World Atlas of Warfare, Something About A Soldier, The Men Who Made the SAS, Passchendaele, Doctor Who Dictionary, Topography of Armageddon and Nightfighters.

Altogether they cost £37, and they seemed to weight that, too.  You may think this constitutes a lot, except it works out at £4.63 per volume.  At full price - and bear in mind some of these are a decade old and would cost more now - they clock in at £155 £175 - "Topography" now stands at £45.
     I'm especially interested in the "Topography of Armageddon", as I've never heard of this work before, despite having a worrying obsession keen interest in the First Unpleasantness, it only has a single entry on Abebooks besides.

Enough unseemly gloating!   On with things!

What's In A Name
Once again condemned to the awful fate of dogsitting Edna this morning, I did the usual trawl through the television channels, noting that the "Horror Channel" is angling slightly towards Horror, although perhaps "Mild Frisson Of Discomfort" is more apt, as they had the old "Incredible Hulk" series on.  CBS Action once again skirts the Trade Descriptions Act, having more dull Next Generation Star Trek on.  We want the original! Phasers blasting, Scotty fist-fighting, Kirk wooing women, Spock doing that thing with his fingers in a "W".
     Although, were Conrad ever to form a band^, and a right sinister organisation it would be, the Create and Craft Channel would offer up lots of potential for song titles.  Todays was "Template Studio One Day Wonder".
     Having just typed that and looking back at my dismissive sneering about the cookie-cutter audio drivel one hears on the radio - well, that's today's coincidence sorted.

A Skreeming Vole^^.
NO!  Sorry, a Ranting Beaver.

Northern Soul
No, not the music, the Grilled Cheese Sandwich cafe on Church Street Market.  Conrad has been a customer for a good while now, since it was a half-unit when they stored catering kit in converted oil-drums.

Like this -

     Not too long ago they expanded to take over the other half of the unit and can now seat up to 24 people, viz:

Thus!

     I had a "Feel The Heat", which is a bit smaller now than when they started.  This is actually a good thing as the old sandwiches were big enough that they'd started to cool and congeal by the time you got to the end.
     And the service was good enough that Conrad, stingiest of mortals, left a tip.

Z Nation And Annihilation
Finished watching Episode 3, and have to wonder at the Road Train of Idiot Survivors.  How did these numpties survive for 3 years after the Zombie apocalypse?
     Don't confuse them with Our Heroes, and Murphy, who are mighty amongst men (and women).  No, the Idiots deserve to die as they were too stupid to live. Reasons?
  1)  They never bother to aim when shooting.
  2)  When people are shooting back, they refuse to take cover.
  3)  They are towing a trailer full of the terminally ill, who will zombify once dead.
  4)  The trailer has nice low sides that zombies can climb
  5)  The zombies-in-waiting are not restrained in any way
  6)  Nobody cares that they're going to turn into zombies
  7)  There is no way to detach the trailer
  8)  When attacked by zombies, Idiot Survivors remain belted-up in their death-trap cabs.
  9)  Despite being willing to shoot fellow humans, Idiot Survivors refuse to shoot zombies
     I think that'll do to be going on with.
     Oh, of the 20 Idiot Survivors, one did actually get away, when Murphy and Cassandra, his semi-zombie slave-girlfriend, stole a car and made their merry way away.
     Also, I'm not entirely convinced that radiation can turn your normal, average, plodding zombie into a cogent Olympic sprinter.  They are dead, after all.

A "Blaster" zombie.  No, hang on a minute -

* A nickname for coal.  I have to add this in for the C21 generation.
** Conrad will probably never get over the heartbreaking loss of "Grooveshark"
*** Nicked as a description from the pithy and accurate Degsy.
^ Don't mock.  If the current spawn of musically barren nonentities currently parading as musicians or singers - yes Beiber I'm looking at you - can do it, so can I.
^^ Blog in-joke