BOOJUM!: The Day Began Extra-Specially Well!

For My Stomach, At Least

Yes! Strawberry Cornetto's at the work shop were only 25p, so I got three of them and would have got the last one, except I couldn't carry it. If it's still there on Monday IT'S MINE!

Triple cornetto

Of course I had to eat all three of them straight away, due to the threat of global warming, and they were delicious and well worth 75p. Normally they're a pound each, or 90p with staff discount. Plus, since I was on an early shift, the usual mockers who cannot understand that an Ice Cream Breakfast is perfectly legitimate were not present to carp.

Not only that, the 24 actually got to Manchester on time - let me emphasise that ON TIME and so I had time enough to get a double espresso. I've not been able to do this recently thanks to the bus getting in late.

All this on a Friday, with an early finish. And no rain!

Pay Attention To Best-By Dates

Actually, don't. Not unless you want to live a life of craven custard-coloured conformity, although as I'm not very struck on custard as foodstuff this might be a bit of food bias coming out. "Citron" would be an acceptable substitute, although it does have a soft "C", so you -

- this is all getting off-subject. I have a picture to make my point:

Note the "Best By" date

Not strictly true! The loose sweets in that plastic tub have been there for several months and are now starting to stick to the wrapper when unfolded, necessitating a trip to the bathroom to wash sticky fingers. This is with 5 months to go before that packet thinks it'll be unfit for purpose!

Just so you know ...

"Agnes Sorel"

I expect that you've forgotten my mention of this personage in connection with the cooking of Anton the chef in P.G. Wodehouse's Jeeves novels. That just goes to show the attention span of the modern young person, always tapping away on their mobile phone, no conversational skills, getting mown down in droves as the cross at the red light tapping away on their -

- and once again I stray from the article. Agnes Sorel was the official mistress of King Charles VII of France. I'm not sure how you become an official mistress, except to say I'm not surprised the French did it first.

She was said, and I quote "to have the most beautiful breasts in Europe", and goodness me the artists of the time couldn't paint enough pictures of her proving this, bodice open, boobs hanging out for all to admire. This makes getting a SFW picture of her rather a problem, but it also makes a point about why Anton's dish of Nonettes were named after her.

Agnes, from the neck up.
Of course, a gentleman never looks below the neckline.

Nonettes*.

"Panthenol"

Another ingredient as listed on my small balmy bottle of chemical dottle**. It sounds like a portmanteau version of "Panther" and "Alcohol" - an hideous organic silage made by squeezing liquids from the carcasses of dead big cats and fermenting the resulting vile liquor in a vat buried under a compost heap for six months.

I suppose real life will be less interesting.

And it is

Apparently its an alcohol derivative, which - get this! - acts as a moisturiser, cleaner and bonds readily to hairs. So it gets used in shampoos and conditioners. No expired panthers in sight.

I happen to like this group, and have done since Boy, even if some condemn them as - er - "Lift Rock For Idiots" (I'm looking at you, Anthony Moran, but since you ain't a BOOJUM! reader, my secret is safe).

I remember that lyric from the song "October" on the album "October"

"October, and the trees are bear.

But what do I care?"

You should care a whole lot, Bono! Trees are members of the plant family, not animals! Get it right!

Disgraceful! U2 getting high.

Confusing English

Another in an occasional series of words that you, the non-British reader***, may find confusing. You may not. Either way, I intend to lecture you and there's no getting out of that. So we shall proceed!

"Skank": Defined as a "Sleazy or unpleasant person".

The Lesser-Girning Toss Pot

"Skink": A lizard from the family Scincidae, an extremly diverse group of reptiles.

Inspiration for the Worms in "Men In Black"

"Skunk": Known in German as the "Stink Weasel", which is pretty accurate, the skunk is a mammal able to spray an hideously-scented oil from it's anal glands.