Oh The Woes, The Woes -

Of Hydroxyethylcellulose
Actually as I'm making this up on the go let me check on what Hydroxyethylcellulose actually is -
 - and I'm back again.  It's a thickening agent used in cosmetic products, is the central ingredient in KY Jelly, and helps to make soap bubbles bigger.
     "He's lost it, and he never had that much of it to begin with," I can hear you say yes THANK YOU so much!  "What is be babbling about now?"
     Because of this, you feebs:

See?  Hydroxyethylcellulose, amongst others.

     I got a new tin of shaving gel yesterday, and - as you surely know by now - Conrad is one of those people who will read the Ingredients list, and note down any interesting-sounding chemicals or exotic herbs that happen to be included.
     So.  There aren't actually any woes associated with Hydroxyethylcellulose.
     Well, we are at least one fact better off today than we were yesterday: hydroxyethylcellulose - safe for your skin.

"Z Nation" Rumination
I am currently watching last week's episode of this SyFy original series, which, as I have remarked before, does not take itself too seriously.  This episode, however, has Conrad gritting his teeth in annoyance, and shouting insults at the screen*.  

"I was in "Die Hard", you know.  I can shoot."

     Why is this?  Because the survivors aboard the road train above are unable to shoot.  They think that waggling a gun at hip level and firing at the landscape whilst standing bolt upright without taking cover is the way to go.
     I don't know how many started at the beginning of this episode, but I guarantee none will survive to the end.  Darwin Award Winners every one.

Z Nation Survivors shooting card.

"Engines Of War" By Christian Wolmar
Yes, I did go on about this and Russian missile trains in today's earlier post, but may I gently remind you whose blog this is?
     If you don't like it the exit door IS THAT WAY**!
     Anyway, young Christian admitted in his introduction that he's utterly unfamiliar with military terms, conventions, history and which end the bullet comes out of.  He proves this by limiting his descriptions of rail-mounted artillery to a passing mention of Dora, Oh Art? -

NO! Get it right Art before I get the Tazer -

 - I refer of course to the Schwerer Dora, one of the largest guns ever built.  Art!

Technically, a B.F.G.
("Big Flipping Gun")

     This monster had a crew of hundreds, required a week to set up and needed it's own special railway track.  Originally designed to destroy the Maginot Line, it was instead used at the siege of Sevastopol.
     Anyway, Chris missed a trick.  There were numerous railway mounted artillery pieces, mostly used in the First Unpleasantness.  They tended to be guns taken from battleships, meaning they were so big they could only be mounted on a customised railway carriage.

This is the weedy British 14" "Sceneshifter"

     I could bang*** on about this subject for hours, but mercifully for you Doctor Who is on soon, so I shall leave you with -

The far more impressive British 18" "Bochebuster"

Nutrition The BOOJUM! Way
Once again I recommend that you treat any dietary advice from Conrad with extreme caution.  Not for nothing did Francine at my last place of work state that, after I died, my body should be gifted to science to find out why I could eat anything short of nuclear fuel rods and suffer no ill consequences^.
     Anyway, let us look at what the bright young things of the 21st Century should be eating or avoiding:

BARLEY:  An unequivocal Yes!  A prime ingredient to thicken up soups, or making lemon barley water, which tastes like water flavoured with lemon and barley.

CHARLIE: Generally, no, unless you happen to be in the Russian army and desperate for anything - ANYTHING - with an alcoholic content.

I-CARLY: If you refer to the cast, NO!  Cannibalism is not acceptable. If you refer to the television series, you're going to need strong teeth and stomach to consume DVDs.

MALI: Once again, you may find this large, barren African country hard to consume in one sitting and liable to be hard to digest.  Drink lots of water.

MALAWI: As with Mali, on a smaller scale.  Less water needed as it borders the lake.

BALI: Far more realistic in that it is much smaller than the aforementioned.  Also, with more greenery, easier to swallow and digest

HARLEY: Good for iron and trace mineral elements.  Tyres probably indigestible.

DIWALI: Unequivocal NO!  As this is a celebration it is thus notional not physical.  Although as a consequence it would have zero calories and be good for dieters.

FARLEY: Another unequivocal Yes!




NO!  Chris Farley is not acceptable on the dinner plate.  Rusks, yes, Chris - NO!
     Honestly, how difficult is it to get across that CANNIBALISM IS WRONG!

Oh, Art, always trying to prove me wrong.
Where's that Tazer?

* One reason the family are grateful I don't watch a lot of television.
** Stage left, fifty metres, Yale lock.
*** Do you see what - O you do
^ Obiously only live nuclear fuel rods!  Depleted ones no problem, if there's chilli sauce.