The AWFUL Arowana That Belonged To Blythe Danner

For Your Edification -
An "Arowana" is a species of carnivorous freshwater fish, known to be spectacular jumpers, and if Blythe Danner ever did keep one as part of her purely speculative tropical acquarium, she would need a very large tank indeed.  150 gallons is recommended, which is both large and expensive, and there are a limited number of other species that the Arowana will tolerate, both facts making it a bad choice as a pet.
     Bad Blythe!  Naughty Blythe!  No biscuit for you!

          Blythe Danner                                    Not to be confuse with -


The Day Wouldn't Be Complete Without A Coincidence, Would It?
Where was Conrad but two short weeks ago?  Playing with historical miniature replicas* during "Crisis Point" at the school hall in Dungworth.
     What was I doing earlier this morning?  Reading my "AA Book of British Villages" and - what a surprise! - here's an entry about "masking", a traditional activity carried out in the village of - Dungworth.
     I've never read about Dungworth anywhere else, so this must - DON'T SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT!

"Caking night in Dungworth"

Saturday Begins
The AA book was one of a series I sat down to read this morning - not exactly riveting news but Conrad is ever a creature of routine and this is how Saturday starts at the Mansion - 

Books.  Mental breakfast.

     Of course after quarter of an hour another party made her presence known -

"Yes, puny human?"

   - and unerringly made her way to sit atop my books.  How do cats know where not to sit and then sit there?

Not even bothering with the "puny human" insult

     And when Conrad retires to his Upstairs Lair, who has ensconced herself there as well?

Make yourself comfortable, Jenny - O you are doing.  Foolish me.

Too many pictures!  More words!

I Don't Often Do This -
However, I was dogsitting Edna and decided that, in order to allow her to have a comfortable human-shaped cushion to lie on, I'd lie on the settee and she could lie on me.  Whilst lying on the settee, I decided to Do The Unusual Thing and watch television.
     I know, I know, not the rock'n'roll rebel lifestyle, is it!  However, it is rare enough for me to be able to blog about it.
     What's that?  "Tell us Conrad, inform us of what you were watching and give us your critical analysis, innit?"
     NCIS:  This is an American television series, about one of those staple TV tropes - lawyers.  Of course without a twist it would be just another lawyer drama, so this one is about lawyers in the army - sorry, the navy. Nice to see David McCallum still getting work on American television as well - and this a good forty years after "The Man From UNCLE".  The few minutes I watched included what must be the clumsiest bit of Desperate Exposition ever - a whole plot's-worth of dialogue raced through in seconds, but I was ever so grateful because it meant I didn't have to go back and watch the whole episode again.

Close enough

     Oh and there was a -
     Direct Line Advert: this featured Harvey Keitel in his "Victor the Cleaner" character - you remember, the sinister, murderous killer from "The Assassin" - and Conrad rather furrowed his brow.  Is this really what the product needs?

More Of Carbonated Swill
Sorry, more pictures - here we have a bottle of generic drinkie-poo:

     As I'm sure you know this drink is associated with iron.  How apt, because here's the ingredients:

Voila!

Last ingredient, as they are listed from largest to smallest, is - Ferric Ammonium Citrate.  An element containing - Iron!

Quite The Haul
As you surely know by now, Conrad has a keen interest/morbid curiosity/worrying obsession with military matters, and as a reward for the mortifying and difficult task of dogsitting Edna, he got this lot:

"War Machine" -  you could get away with a title like this in the Eighties

I Also Made Soup
Yes I did.  There were leeks to be used up, cut-price leeks past their sell-by-date admittedly, but still - leeks!
     Alright, no need to be snotty about it, the leek is a splendid vegetable when it's at home.  Plus it's a gift for puns.**

Leek and Orange Soup

     It's supposed to be eaten chilled, so it's now in the fridge.



* "Toy soldiers" - translation courtesy Mister Hand
** None today, sorry. Oh?  Does that upset you?  Are you going to cry?  Are you going to leek*** a little?
*** Sorry.

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