Is It A Mallard? No, It's J.G. Ballard!

This Sci-Fi Author Mentioning Seems To Be Working
Although you are probably more familiar with his filmed semi-autobiography "Empire of the Sun" than with "Crash", which was filmed by David Cronenberg, who is exactly the sort of director it deserved.  That is, unsettling, weird and perverse.  

A Mallard

     Old JG was not exactly a happy, jolly writer who told exciting tales of rayguns and rocket-ships, and exotic green-skinned alien princesses wearing not-a-lot.  Oh no.  No, he was more a "things are awful and are only going to get worse in ways only I can imagine".  Vis his novel titles: "Crash", "The Drowned World", "The Atrocity Exhibition", "The Disaster Area".

J.G. Ballard.  No, hang on a minute -

     Mind you he did pen "The Comsat Angels", a name appropriated by Steve Fellows for my very favourite band.

Twitter Not A Hitter
I have mentioned in the past how Facebook generates wildly inappropriate Suggested Posts - log counting software anyone? - and this embarrassment has now spread to Twitter.
What is this?  "Make money by selling your 3D Models!"

What on Earth, to put it mildly

     Firstly, I have never indicated that I possess, wish to possess or have ever possessed anything to do with 3D design software.  Secondly, I can barely draw a straight line with a ruler.  Thirdly, Conrad possessed 0% business skills.
   Well done Twitter.  Nil out of three.

A Breakfast Divertissement
Oh NO!  I forgot to get any loose leaf English Breakfast Tea on the shop yesterday!

Look at me the rock'n'roll rebel - no teastrainer!

     Consequently I am having to make do with Russian Caravan tea; it seemed a bit harsh to abandon Edna for at least half an hour to go get a packet from Morrisons.

Oh - there will be a later post with lots of photos of the Wunderhund.

A Man Of My Word (And All The Wetter For It)
Whilst I am dog-sitting it is my agreement that I take Edna for a shorter walk in the morning, and a longer one in the afternoon.  Thanks to dedicated reading of "Inherent Vice"*, I left the morning walk until 11:30, whereupon I put on my trainers, donned a coat and - paused at the back doors as it was lashing down outside.
     The horizontal river slackened off and we ventured outside, Edna quite happy in the rain, Conrad less so, especially as it started to come down in volume again.
     So, on our return I had to remove track suit bottoms, trainers and socks, as all were soaked through.  By 12:04**the rain had stopped completely.
     Why not wait until then?  I refer you to the title of this post.


"Inherent Vice"
In a determined application of effort, I finished this at 2:50 this afternoon.  Having done so I'm probably going to re-read it, as there are twists in the tail and defining moments that clarify what's gone before.

"Thomas Pynchon" on a film poster.
There's something you don't see every day

     Also, it's hard to keep track of all the characters as they disappear and reappear.  Nor do they all have silly surnames that you can track them with.
     I finally nailed when the novel is set, as it mentions the Charles Manson trial being underway - that is, June 1970.  And the fading film start "Burke Stodger" is definitely a thinly-disguised Sterling Hayden***.
     Now, having read the book, I am going to watch the film.
     I'll let you know.

Clepsydra
What's one of these when it's at home?  A water clock, used from the depths of pre-recorded history up until the mechanical clock of the 16th Century.  It's Greek for "Water thief" and here's an example:

Please note the two scales of XII on the dial

     I was brought to mind of this by gazing out of the back doors upon the seas falling from the skies this morning.
     Probably not needed in the UK - if you can see the rain it's daytime, if you can't see the rain it's nighttime, if there's no rain it's summer, if there's snow instead of rain it's winter.

Slowly Getting The Hang Of This -
I am determined to get the Grilled Cheese Sandwich right, and am getting there.

Edna is out of shot to the right, waiting patiently.  

     It's an acquired experience.  You can't have the heat too high or you scorch the bread; you can't use too much cheese or the centre won't melt; flipping it over needs care so it doesn't come apart; and you need patience and a low heat to get it to toast and melt properly.
     Nowhere near as good as Northern Soul's monster masterpieces, but since I can't get there^, they'll do as a stopgap.


* There's more detail about this later, you don't get off that easily ...
** Yes, I timed it.  I'm that kind of person.
*** Who's he?  I may tell you in future.
^ Dogsitting, remember?  Do keep up!

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