After all, if they flew low, then people could trap them with nets, and enslave them, and train them to fly to the takeaway with an order. You might need several monkeys if you're getting extra chicken-fried rice - think of the mass - or a stack of pizza boxes. Or they could scout ahead of you in your car, reporting back on local jams or accidents, although you might have to teach them an abbreviated yet elegant sign language to be able to get across the concept of "18 wheeler jacknifed on M60, mega-tailbacks up the A57."
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| Look at 'em, all consuming drugs and getting - hang on, tea? |
"Into Battle" By John Glubb
Actually that Intro was inspired by a note in John's autobiography about his time as an officer in the Royal Engineers during last century's First Great Unpleasantness, when he mentioned that so-and-so had been an "MFH" in peacetime.
Conrad, ever the curious and pedantic, immediately noted this down in his Notebook of Everything. What could it be? I had a suspicion - let me disabuse you of the "monkeys Flying High" option, 'twas not that. Nor was it "Mobile Field Hospital" - appropriate though it sounded.
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| Mobile Field Hospital. MASH without the humour |
Note also that Glubb is always commenting on the state of his company's horses: the BEF, and indeed all other armies of the day, was reliant on horses for transport, yet they rarely get much of a mention. Glubb is constantly watching how his horses are looked after, being groomed, watered, rested, fed and sheltered.
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| Well it made me laugh |
Normally this stands for "Submarine Launched Ballistic Missile", unless you are Conrad, who is passing fond of having ice cream for breakfast, as witness:
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| Delicious. Also, only ice cream can cool the lava that boils in my bloodstream. |
The Clotted Cream and Raspberry was nice though.
"Foolscap"
Another random word that popped into the old cranium en route to the bus stop this morning.
What is is? Paper. Of a particular size. Technically known as "Foolscap Folio". And it got the name because the watermark on it was that of a - fool's cap.
I'm glad we got to the bottom of that.
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| Foolscap, Death Cap, easily confused ... |
Apparently the film was re-launched in 2012, an event that entirely by-passed Conrad*. Let me check IMDB for a rating - hmmmm 7.1, okay, what about the sequel - ah, 6.9.
Let's look at MONEY, as that's what drives the suits in Hollywood nowadays. That and the hope of netting a High Flying Monkey.
Okay, Spiderman Iteration One: released 2002, costs $140 million**. Makes $800 million at the global box office. Cost to profit ratio: x5+
Spiderman Iteration Two: released 2012, costs $230 million. Makes $757 million at the global box office. Cost to profit ratio: x3+. Spidermant Iteration Two Sequel: released 2014, costs $200 million***, makes $700 million at the global box office. Cost to profit ratio: x3+.
I think Sam Raimi's iteration works here. It's madness to call a film that cost $140 million "cheap", but then again, all things are relative!
| Conrad's bed |
Harking back to the weekend, when I Watched Television,^I did list a series of films that were on the Horror Channel (not sure why they had "Doctor Who" on as it's a documentary reconstruction series). There was "Outlander" with a nice conceit - advanced humanoid alien crashes in Norway during the Dark Ages - and the ever-watchable John Hurt; after that, though - oh dear.
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| NO! Art, I am going to - |
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| Art Department saves self from grisly death ... |
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| No I Ent -^^ |
Oops! and the 60 minute rule comes into force.
* I am a fearful coward who is mortally terrified of spiders.
** You think that's a lot? Read on!
*** Hey, they cut corners and skimped on things!
^ This is so rare it really does need capitalising.
^^ Sorry.
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