I'm Warning You About This I.R.B.M. -

Now, This Merits A Caution -
Normally, and how rarely does that word apply here, an"I.R.B.M." would be an "Intermediate Range Ballistic Missile", one example of which would be the "Thor" missile, as operated between 1959 and 1963.
     Normally.
     Today, however, it has a far less sinister explanation.  You know how Conrad loves him some ice-cream in the morning - this is where the caution comes in as people greet this with surprise and concern - and so let me introduce you to todays "Ice-cream (Raspberry) Breakfast Man":

Delicious, thanks for asking

"Fortitude"
Just finished watching episode 8 of this Northern drama and things are, you might say, hotting-up.  There's been another death, and another savage attack, and certain people have been having extra-marital affairs, with the attention shifting from the murdered Professor Stoddard to the was-he-or-wasn't-he? Bill Pettigrew and his GPR survey results.  The mainland (for which read "Oslo") won't help.

"A summer heatwave descended on the island ..."

     Rather like "Rare Exports", it also seems to be very easy to cross into Russia.  Not even a mighty six-foot chain-link fence to stop folks seeing the Slavic way of life.
     I was also a tad concerned about the "Minor's Party", as it seemed to be full of adults drinking copiously - and then the penny dropped.



Bus Wait Rate
I am now formally creating this as a real life event.  As you surely know by now, there exists a state of undeclared war between Conrad and First Bus.  Thus have I stood at the bus stop, absent bus, idly having strange words pop into my head and witnessing many a bus pass by on the other side of the road.  At my morning bus stop, a total of three buses whiz past.

Buses are boring.  Here's Matt Braddock, knocking 7 shades of Hell out of the Axis

     And yet - if I'm in a hurry to get somewhere on public transport, the number passing opposite increases to at least five.  First Bus are mocking me - "Look at all these buses you can't catch!"
     Contrarily, if I'm on leave or it's the weekend, the buses opposite dwindle in number to one, or even none.  Again with the mockery!  "We know you don't have to be there in a hurry.  Why waste time mocking you?"

"Mason And Dixon" by Thomas Pynchon
Up to Page 703, and what did I espy at Page 683?  Why the words "Against The Day", which - if you were paying attention and for your sake and that of your great-grandchildren I hope you were - is the more recent novel of his that I finished a couple of months ago.
     Somewhere on the Internet there's probably an essay written by a Professor of Modern Literature about how Tom always has a title buried in the body of the text.  Probably.  My life is too short to go look - feel free yourself!
     One of Tom's nouns, that he may have made up - shall we check?  Go on then - no, it's a real word - is "Battoe", meaning a boat.  It struck Conrad on the bus that this is an Anglicised version of "Bateaux", the French word for "Boat".*

There you go - ten bat-toes for the price of one

     Now, at several points in the narrative when M & D are in America, doing their surveying, they mention "Braddock" and have it sound as though Mr Braddock came to a bad end.  Conrad - you are probably ten steps ahead of me here - being ever the curious pedant, went and checked up on this.
     Interesting!  Braddock was a British general who led a military expedition against the `French Canadians in what we call "The Seven Years War" and the South Canadians call "The French and Indian War".  His aide de camp was a young chap called George Washington**, who helped to get the survivors of what was an utter debacle to safety; George came to a modest amount of fame from this, which kind of makes you stop and think - here he was helping the British!  

Do not mock this man in South Canada.

The Braddock column was ambushed and shot to bits by an enemy it greatly outnumbered - and the battle remains controversial today.  Warfare of the Age of Reason not being a speciality of Conrad's, I shall have to resort to questioning young Jamie Crawley, who is far better informed in these matters.
     I'll let you know.

A Jam, Crawling.  Close enough

"Into Battle By John Glubb
I'm cheating here!  I actually finished this yesterday.  However, the 60 Minute rule about blog creation intervened before I could add an item to yesterday's post, so - have at it.
     "Pergola":  in one of his rare poetic moments John describes how a sunken lane was so over-arched by trees that it became a "Pergola".
     A what?  Yes, I can hear you being confused as well.  Summoning up my mighty powers of Google-fu, I found this:

In vain against rain, yet fine for a vine

     A kind of dada car-port, if you will.
     Mention is also made of an "Inglis Bridge", which was novel to Conrad - I've heard of the Bailey Bridge, the Einstein-Roentgen Bridge and the 58th Street Bridge Song.  What is it?
     A set of pre-fabricated components that can be used to build an open girderwork bridge of any length needed, capable of carrying heavy traffic, viz:

The caption has these being Canadian engineers.
Coincidence!  So nice to see you again!

* I impressed me with how clever I am.
** Yes, that George Washington