The Way To Dusty Death

I Thought That Was Quite Apt

Or it will be, once we get this Intro up and running.  Your Humble Scribe is currently sitting and hammering the keyboard amidst frantic scooping forkfuls of chicken and sweet corn stew, which I rashly froze at the weekend, and which subsequently took 8 minutes to thaw, when I only have 30 over the whole lunchtime.  Art!

     In case you were wondering, and even if you weren't, today's title is a quote from "Macbeth", or "The Scottish Play" if you happen to be a superstitious thespian/

     "But Conrad!" I hear you quack, "Surely there's a mistake here, for do you not loathe Shakespeare with the undying passion of a hypernova?"

     Wellllll yes, but you know how venal we are here at BOOJUM! and if there just so happens to be a nice memorable quote in it for us, then we are quite happy to possess the moral fibre of hot syrup.  Besides - Art!

Ryan looking semi-smart

     This is Ryan McBeth, Youtuber and computer security whiz, whom adopted an image of himself in a dressing gown, slippers and with a glass of whisky, cigar optional, as his online avatar.  He also spent decades in the South Canadian Army, but timed it right to not get involved in any business where people are trying to actively kill you.  Ryan has a one-man operation going where he tackles and debunks lies and misinformation on social media, which means he's never EVER going to be short of things to do.  Art!

Ryan looking a complete slob

     That's enough of Shakeyshaft and MacBeths. Art!

     Yes, it's that film again!  Now, recall that it came out in the year 1977.  What media enfant terrible also came out in 1977?  No!  Not "Hot Crochet Hooks".  "2000AD", which was a pretty futuristic date waaaay back then, even if it's rather dated today.  Kevin O'Neill and Pat Mills have both admitted that DA was the direct inspiration for one of the first 'epic' Judge Dredd stories, which we have mentioned already: "The Cursed Earth".  Art!

Tweak, Dredd and Spikes Harvey Rotten

     Here an aside.  Don't whinge, we're already up to 360 words.  Conrad has mocked DA for general cheesiness, yet the scenes set in the Minuteman control centre deep beneath Tipton Air Force Base are quite realistic and Conrad, being the fearsome cynic that he is, wondered if they didn't get access to a Minuteman missile museum.  Much cheaper than building a set.  Art!

     Here we are at 08:05 minutes in.  Nobody mentions their missiles being launched ever again.

     Except after the Sinister's ICBMs hit their targets, Tanner and Denton eagerly pop up out of their subterranean bolt-hole, when training and protocol would have them remaining there for up to two weeks, to allow the background count to diminish significantly.  Not only that, there is footage of a Titan II m

     ANYWAY to set the background for TCE, we need to travel back in time to 2070, when South Canadian President Robert "Smooth" Booth is elected.  Art!

He would definitely win a George Hamilton Looky-Likey competition

     In 2070, in what sounds curiously like a contemporary South Canadian politico, Booth decided to wage atomic warfare against the rest of the globe, because - he thought it would make him look good to the voters?  Thus began the Atomic Wars, which devastated the entire globe, including South Canada.  Booth discovered that the voters didn't like being vapourised when they stormed the White House.  He chicken-ran all the way to his Rocky Mountain redoubt, which was protected by legions of robot soldiers loyal to him.  Art!

     Keep this in mind, I'm not going to try and cover "The Cursed Earth" in one Intro, it would be 5,000 words long otherwise, so it's going to be parcelled out in bits.  I bet you can hardly wait.  You lucky people.

"Siege"

Just to update you on my progress so far on this hex-and-counter wargame.  Art!

    This game had a scrum of attackers at the main gate, with a sneaky pair at the opposite end of the castle with a scaling ladder.

     I'm going to run a third game of this scenario, because it's far too difficult trying to get in at the main gate - as it would have been in real life.  The defenders get to raise the drawbridge at the end of Turn 3, preventing the attackers from getting in.  Plus Aylwyn the Annihilating Archer picked them off one by one; this was actually a mistake on my part in allowing him to fire twice per turn, when it should only have been once.  O well, live and learn.  Art!

     The scenario allows the attackers to have up to 3 scaling ladders, so I'm going to have them using said implements to attack.  Maybe one ladder per castle wall, or all three at once.  We shall see.  The next scenario involves heavier metal in the form of battering rams, ho ho.

     Lesson One: castle gates are well-defended and difficult to storm.

Another Subculture For You

We've not had an item about Lego sculptures for an age, so here's a vlog entry from 2019 at Virginia's 'Brickfair', featuring a 'Mon Calamari' cruiser from the 'Star Wars' universe.  Or galaxy.  That was very far away.  Art!

With puny humans for scale

     Matt Benner, the builder, explained that it has to be supported or the whole thing would collapse, which would probably break him, too, considering the size and complexity of it.  Not only is it large and detailed on the outside, portions of the hull are detachable to reveal the interior.  Art!

     Conrad confesses he's not listened to the commentary as it's 13 minutes long, so I have no clue if Matt explains how long it took to design and build this monster, nor how many bricks are in it.  Ten thousand at a guess.

     Of course I have to sneeringly dismiss it as an example of how some people have entirely too much time on their hands.

"City In The Sky"

Ooooh, things are getting interesting, with the Doctor seemingly at risk of being lynched by angry townsfolk.

     The other coasties came in close to see what the stranger had to say for himself, and Mirkan 93’s slave saw the opportunity to use that unexplained device now, while a crowd assembled.

     ‘I’ve no idea what you’re talking about,’ said the Doctor simply, trying to exude innocence from his very pores.

     ‘You chopped him up with an axe!’ growled Mike, reaching forward to grab the smaller man’s upper bicep, an action that he regretted instantly as an umbrella handle insinuated itself between his feet and he fell backwards.

     The other coasties were not impressed with this self-defence – the Doctor considered it pretty impressive since it was from a seated position and involved no more than three inches movement of his right hand – and a dozen pairs of hands dragged him from the chair.

     ‘We ought to skin him alive and roll him in salt,’ suggested an Asian man, sweating heavily.

     Another person produced a very large Bowie knife, easily a foot long.

     ‘Sounds good to me.  Or maybe just stick ‘im, pig-killing fashion.’

     Back on his feet, Mike delivered a right cross that the Doctor only just saw coming, managing to flex with the punch and minimise the impact, which nevertheless left his ears ringing; the Assistant Mayor had good technique and a lot of venom.

     Suspiciously angry townsfolk, don't you think?

I Took This Picture So You're Going To See It

Conrad occasionally peers out of his Sekrit Layr's windows to see what the world is up to, usually nothing very interesting, apart from the infrequent flocks of Rochdalians who go by in packs, either long-distance runners or those fleeing a zombie horde, one of the two.  Perhaps both?

     ANYWAY let me prod Art into wakefulness with this electrified steel skewer.

     Egad!  What are they going to do to Rochdale Road, which is always busy at all times of day and night?

     Nothing, it transpired.  Matey had gotten out to amble round the corner and gaze down Tandle Hill Road for reasons undefined.  Phew.  A narrow escape.

Finally -

The fridge is calling.