To Mangle Poor Old Walt Whitman A Bit
You can see how the sense of a sentence can be subtly altered by mucking around with the punctuation, can't you? Not only that, later on we'll be referencing <hack spit> Shakespeare, the Barf Of Avon.
Don't worry, though, BOOJUM! has not taken a crash course in How To Be A Poseur, and to prove how <coughcough ahem> 'Street' we are and remain, here's a picture of - Art!
TANK!
"This isn't another torrent of ordure about Captain Marvel, is it?" I hear you quake. "Because that shizzle has aged rather quickly."
Perhaps indirectly. I will need to invoke "The Marvels" later for cold hard cash reasons. No, the impetus for today's title is the forthcoming Marvel film "Captain America: Brave New World". You see? From a quote from "The Tempest", to wit: "O brave new world, that has such creatures in it" and it's the only Shakyshaft play Conrad has any time for, being that it inspired "Forbidden Planet"*. Art!
Ladies and gentlemen and those unsure, this is actor Anthony Mackie, portraying Sam Wilson, who goes by the Marvel moniker of 'Falcon'. So, why is he all dressed up in Captain America's uniform?
Well, thereby hangs a tale. You see, Falcon is no great shakes as a superhero. He has a prosthetic rig that allows him to fly and flit around like a bat - er - no, actually, DC probably have that kind of description sewn up with an army of lawyers. Okay okay, flit around like a raptor. Thus anyone could put this rig on and fly like a beagle. HOWEVER - if he stepped into the shoes of Steve Rodgers, then he'd move up from supporting cast to star. Art!
CAUTION! Check for feather-mites
Conrad is trusting others with more comic book lore at their fingertips than he has, and they relate that Marvel tried this in comics and it didn't end well. Fans wanted Steve Rogers, The End.
Now, CABNW had finished it's shooting before the big Hollywood strike, which meant that Marvel were able to do test screenings in order to try the water. Best to stick one of their long, malformed toes in rather than simply divebombing, right?
Ooops. Art!
Initially Marvel were claiming that they 'only needed to tweak a couple of action scenes'. They must have had their fingers crossed when saying that, because CABNW was abruptly hoiked from it's July 2024 release date and postponed until February 2025 - thanks to those "negative test scores".
This is where things get increasingly squirelly. Now there are reports that a new writer, Matthew Orton, has been brought in. Art!
You don't bring a new writer, and a name one at that, for 'tweaking a few action scenes'.
Then there's the elephant - actually a herd of elephants - in the room. CABNW has been scheduled for five months of reshoots.
Wait, what?
The test screenings were that bad?
Lest ye be unaware, shooting a big budget film like this may take up to twelve weeks, or three months, and they're going to spend TWENTY WEEKS doing the reshoots? This sounds less like 'tweaking' and instead making a whole new film from scratch. Marvel have claimed that reshoots are a perfectly normal part of post-production, which they might well be, and then they sink their own ship by adding in the detail that they may last for "three days to two weeks". Right. Art!
A film nobody wanted, with a star nobody likes, and two characters nobody's heard of. What could possibly go wrong?
"The Marvels" original budget was $275 million, which ballooned by another $30 million thanks to four weeks of reshoots. CABNW's budget has been kept a state secret but we can guesstimate it at $200 million after principal photography wrapped. Now, add in $100 million for promotion and advertising - which is, frankly, on the low side - and we've already gotten to $300 million. If we take TM's $30 million for 4 weeks and multiply by 5 for that many months, we then add another $150 milliion to CABNW, so it's now at $450 million. Meaning it will need to hit $900 million at the box office just to break even. Art!
These are, obviously - of course! - rough figures and guesses. They do, however, give you some idea of what kind of struggle this film is going to have at the box office. Once again, Conrad would like to suggest to Marvel Studios that, instead of going through months if not years of toil and trouble, they simply pack a shipping container full of cash and drop it into a volcano. This is a much simpler and more efficient way to (literally) burn through all that money.
More Of Cursing And Earthing
I'm not going to add another 1,200 words about "The Cursed Earth" because today's Intro has been especially long - but hopefully also entertaining. On the other hand, I would like to feature one of the stars of the strip, the 'Killdozer'. Art!
This vehicle was based on a real-world article, the Matchbox '2001 Raider Command' and the publishers had gotten permission to use the likeness, and even included a few as prizes in competitions. Art!
 |
| Two for the price of one |
Looks pretty cool, hmmm? You see, "2000AD", this is how you deal with copyright issues and potential lawsuits for defamation and slander. The Killdozer managed to survive a lot longer than most of the judges accompanying Dredd on his mission, and I won't issue any spoilers about it's fate.
In case you feel inspired, you can get them on E-bay, except they all seem to be 'Used' and none in mint condition or boxed.
Look What I Got
By a happy coincidence <wallet squeaks in anguish> Turner & Donovan (antiquarian and rare books) just so happened to have a copy of - Art!
Egad! It was well worth what I paid, which was <REDACTED> thanks to the edition iteration. Art!
This is possibly the Ockers preening a bit: "Look look our book is so in demand that it's gone to four editions! Eat that Pommies!"
If it had been the original publication, then we're probably talking £300, so this is actually a bargain, especially considering that it's in very good condition. There are tons of proper maps and sketch maps and endless photographs, too. Art!
The only problem is that it's almost 850 pages long, and given it's age one has to be careful about not cracking the spine when opening the folios. Still, an early Christmas present from me to me.
"City In The Sky"
It's all go at the New Eucla town hall, as a gaggle of homicidal townsfolk get ready to lynch the Doctor.
He grasped at the sonic screwdriver in his jacket pocket and aimed in
the approximate direction of where he thought the beam originated, just as his
attackers renewed their assault with fresh vigour. A press of the operating stud –
Actions returned to their normal speed.
A faint fizzing noise came over the seething crowd determined to kill
him –
-
who
suddenly and promptly fell back and away from him.
‘What the hell!’ exclaimed Mike, staring at the Doctor, his knuckles, the crowd around him and the audience now surging forward to rescue the diminutive victim. He suddenly reeled, clutching his head. ‘Oh Jeez – my head’s gonna split!’
The lynch mob fell apart in pain and bewilderment. Two people were violently sick.
‘You hit
‘Er – ah – I assure you - ’ blustered the Doctor as the wiry little man
produced a long, thin blade from a boot.
‘Not you, you numpty. Him!’ and the other Assistant Mayor pointed at the balding Asian man, who looked horror-struck
O I say!
I Am Going To Test You
We've already had an Intro about Mount Etna, the Sicilian volcano, and you'd better Dog Buns! believe that there are more Intros about volcanoes to come. In the meantime, allow me to print a stanza from a song.
Another band getting in on volcanoes, the bandwagon jumpers. They'd better watch out for falling shipping containers full of singeing specie.
Okay, WITHOUT Googling, what's the song and who is the band?
Hint: nothing to do with disco.
"Arne Sakknusem decided to wait a bit**"
* The title is a con, there are no tempests nor typhoons in it AT ALL.
** "Journey To The Centre Of The Earth" in-joke
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