Lord Of The Lies

No!  That Is Not A Typo About Either The Film Or The Book

By William Golding, lest ye be unaware.  Conrad has a passing acquaintance with the novel as it got discussed at secondary school more decades ago than I care to remember.  I think I've even seen the original film, too.  Art!

"The understudies for 'Apocalypse Now' were a tad undernourished"

     That's from the 1990 film version, which I thought was quite recent, not over three decades ago.  Gosh I feel old.  I know, I know, I am old.  That's not the same as feeling it.

     You'll not find anyone worshipping a pig's head here, I can tell you, though they do make a good stock if boiled in a large cooking vessel for several hours, with onio

     ANYWAY I did threaten you with a looooong Intro about a man who lies every time he opens his mouth and flaps his gums, so here we are.  Art!

No!  No, Art - Dog Buns, I can't really fault you.  Try again.

The Gorge's mouth is moving = lying

     Yes, we are back to disgraced ex-representative George Santos.  Although he seems to have as little shame as he has morals, scruples or ethics, and is trying to exploit his status to become a short-term celebrity, before he becomes a long-term inmate.

     Okay, one pundit, probably on the website of "The Daily Beast", suggested that GADS ("George Anthony Devolder Santos") The Gadfly attempted to get elected because he didn't think he'd ever succeed; unfortunately for him, his Ice Cream Bandit opponent flubbed the election campaign and failed disastrously, allowing Gadfly to get in.  Stick a pin in this, we'll come back to it.  Art!

     That there is one Grant Lally, a Wizzard Lizard Gizzard-leaning publisher who interviewed Santosh back in 2020, and disliked his lying so much that he endorsed the Ice Cream Bandit alternative.  In fact Grant's paper, the "North Shore Leader", did the original digging that uncovered what an utter sleazebag Santosspot was (and is).  Let us list the lies.

"PASS-THROUGH" DONATIONS: That is, illegally avoided campaign finance donation limits by channelling them through his own accounts.

CREDIT CARD FRAUD: Scraped donor's credit card information to pay for his botox treatments ($3,929), clothes and Only Fans.  Art!

BUSINESS PIMPING: Promoted his own business, Redstone, to others without declaring that he had any interest in it.  Spent the proceeds on credit card bills, Hermes, Only Fans - how many fans does this guy need? - and Sophra, meals, parking and casinos.  Art!

They sell handbags at silly prices

UNEMPLOYMENT BENEFITS:  Whilst in a job earning $120,000 per annum, the Gorge lied about being unemployed and raked in $24,000 of benefits.  Next time you hear railing about 'benefit scroungers' remember the Gorge.

EDUCATION: Lied - a word you may come to get fed up with! - about which school he went to.  He did not go to Horace Mann School in the Bronx.  It's a prestigious private school, you see.  Nor did he go to Baruch College, which means his claims about being a star volleyball player were - you may be ahead of me here - lies.  His attendance at New York University also never happened.  Art!

Horace Mann I Feel Traduced School

EMPLOYERS: Guess what?  He lied about working at both Citibank and Goldmann Sachs.  I know, how shockingly unexpected.  He was merely a freelancer at Linkbridge, not employed by them.

PONZI-PRONE: He did indeed work for Harbor City Capital!  Hurrah, a win at l - hang on - what?  O.  Unfortunately for the Gorge, this was a giant financial Ponzi scheme that collapsed with debts of $17 million, which is currently under investigation.  Ooops.  Art!

ANIMAL CHARITY: Lied - gasp surely not! - about establishing an animal charity.  Founded a GoFundMe for a homeless veteran's dog and the vet fees required, then kept all $3,000 for himself.

SAY GAY OKAY: Claims to have a husband, with no records of any marriage carried out, doesn't wear a ring and has divorced at least one woman in the past.

MOTHER ISSUES: Lied (that word again!) about his mother being a wealthy financier living in New York on 9/11.  His mother is a nurse, a profession a whole lot more noble than any the Gorge has undertaken, and was living in Brazil when the Twin Towers went down.  Art!

Brazil.  Where nuts come from

HOLOCAUST HOKUM: His family, prior to himself, had never left Brazil, so they were Holocaust survivors only in the sense that they'd never left Brazil for Nazi Germany or Occupied Europe.

THE 'PULSE' SHOOTINGS: Despite the Gorge's claims, nobody employed by him was among the 49 killed or 53 injured in the attack on this nightclub.  Are you getting the feeling that pond-scum is more laudable than this item?

KIDNOPED: His niece was never kidnapped.  

MENORAH MYTHS: He and his family are all of sound Catholic background, going back generations.  Gosh, could he - would he - might he be lying again?  Art!

Considerably more wholesome fare

DRAG ME TO SINNER: Santissue initially lied about being a drag queen in Brazil, until irrefutable photographic evidence emerged that he had - SURPRISE! - been a drag queen in Brazil.  Why on earth he'd lie about this in the first place is a bit of a mystery.  Answers in the Comments, please.

TV: Despite being a TransVestite*, the Gorge was never on "Hannah Montana", "The Suite Life Of Zack And Cody" nor in a film with Uma Thurman.

WEBBY WIBBLES: He lied about being a producer of "Spiderman - Turn Off The Dark", which I'd never heard of.  It seems it was a <shudder> 'rock musical' that tanked abominably and lost millions.  He probably just Googled the name.  Art!

Hmmmm.

JOURNOLIST: You will be horrified and offended to know the Gorge was not, as he claimed, a journalist at the Brazilian publication "Globo".

     Recall our beginning.  Why did Santos carry out all this crime?  Because he'd tried to get elected, unsuccessfully, in 2020 and, quote: "I got away with it then."

     Yes, matey.  Because back then you didn't get elected and come under intense scrutiny.

     Oooops, I accidentally wrote a whole lot of stuff.  Bring on a few short items!

"City In The Sky"

The Doctor has dropped a dark hint about how he's going to deal with the malevolent aliens hiding in the Australian outback.

‘Hello Arcology One, hello Arcology One,’ chirped the Doctor into his radio transciever.  Unxpectedly, Ace didn’t answer.

     ‘Yes?  Is that Doctor Smith?’ came a sickly voice at the other end.  Barclay, if memory served.

     ‘It certainly is.  Where’s Ace?  Listen, I need you to use Pangolin to carry out a very important mission in orbit, essential for the survival - ’

     Barclay interrupted before he could finish with a wheezing, croaky voice.

     ‘Damn you, Doctor!  Don’t you know we’ve got the plague up here!  Everyone is infected!’

 

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: End of the Line

      Ace suspected, correctly, that her being sent Upstairs with Terry had more than one purpose.  She had sat alongside him, only vaguely interested in the questions that the Founder’s offspring asked, pondering at length on what else she might be expected to do up here.  “At length” was no figure of speech: the Founder’s descendants were well into their second hour of questioning Terry.

     The Doctor had probably second-guessed that his radio transceiver, best-quality UNIT issue, would be appropriated by one of the Arc crew.  Typically devious!  Why couldn’t he just hand it over to them?  Then again – he had been very insistent that she didn’t part with it.  

     Wheels within wheels within wheels.

Bad Traffic

After the meal at Benito Lounge we three had to get back to The Mansion, which journey was unexpectedly made a good forty minutes longer thanks to the Barton Bridge being closed, thanks to a lorry very selfishly falling over.   Art!

     This is an example of things going agley, if you ever wondered what "Things gang aft agley" meant in English.  Art!

Overturned by winds

O Dear.  How Sad.  Never Mind.

We have previously pointed-and-laughed at Rudy Giuliani, who had been hit with a $146 million bill for damages and compensation, who then continued to spout his defamatory lies and was hit with another suit from the same plaintiffs.  Art

     Dudey Rudy has now filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy, which he probably hopes will keep the pack of wolves from the door as he files an appeal.

     Nope, sorry.  Doing this means he has to be completely honest and open about his finances, two words he would need to look up in a dictionary.  The rumour goes that he's actually $500 million in debt, principally due to being a slavering boot-licking lackey of Pumpkinhead, who, you may be shocked to know, is not lifting a finger to help.  Rudy appears to have been downgraded from 'Friend' to 'One-time acquaintance'.  Tee hee!

Finally -

Well, that's all for the moment.  Tune in tomorrow or even later today if you can'g get enough gibber with your fibber!

*  Do you see what I d - O you do.