Not, I Hasten To Assure You -
That I have any great dislike or phobia about pumpkins. Which, by the way, would be 'Cucurbitophobia'. Just so we're clear. The pumpkin, which I have cooked and baked with, is a rather bland vegetable with a slightly sweet taste that needs flavouring to make any gustatory impact. Art!
That, or a knife-wielding maniac in the background. Yes yes yes, I'm well aware I'm late for Halloween (this year). Sue me.
The thing is, I happened across a video from "Ordnance Lab" over on Youtube. You may remember these bampots from a few months ago, when they were telling people NOT to make the explosive compound TATP, because it was so very very dangerous. Hom. Sap. being the race of idiots they are, this is guaranteed to have caused a few to see this warning as a challenge. Art!
This disclaimer will prevent the surviving relatives of Darwin Award Winners from suing. One hopes. There is more about Ordnance Lab on their Home page, to wit: "WARNING: Ordnance Lab LLC is an ATF licensed Destructive Device & Explosives manufacturer, and is registered as a manufacturer of Defense Articles with the Directorate of Defence Trade Controls under the International Traffic in Arms Regulations (ITAR)" There you go, now we are all better-informed and the word count also benefited. Art!
Jake
Jake and his buds are, as you have seen, professionally qualified and experienced in the use of high explosives. They still have bizarre ideas about what might constitute a good idea, and given that it was Halloween, Jake decided he was going to weaponize -
Pumpkins. More specifically, he was going to make Pumpkin Landmines.
Of course, Jake. One wonders why this has never been tried before.
Well, he then explained that, to use a pumpkin as an ordnance device, you need to dry it out first, because there is no adhesive currently in existence that will glue wet pumpkin to wet pumpkin - inventors out there take note! After five days they only had two usable pumpkins, and you see the smaller of the pair above, packed with 8 oz. of high explosive and about 150 metal pellets of 1/4 inch diameter. Art!
Ignore the Metric! Ignore the Metric!
For Your Information, the distance is 98½ feet, and the two wooden silhouettes are 5' 10" tall. Please note that, were this pumpkin to be left outside as a landmine (of sorts) then Jake cautions you about raccoons, whom are popularly known as 'Trash Pandas' in South Canada, and they'd be all over your 'plosive pumpkin, gnawing it to a sad remnant. Art!
DEATH TO PUMPKIN!
Conrad was a bit skeptical, as the distance seems much too far to expect any significant damage to the targets, especially if there's an even distribution of pellets from the detonation.
And guess what! I was right. Neither target suffered any damage. O well. At least they DESTROYED THE PUMPKIN! Jake?
Here is the larger of the pair, whose voluminous interior allowed Jake to pack it with 500 pellets and 2½ pounds of HE. That's a lot of poke in your pumpkin, pal. Art!
DEATH TO PUMPKIN! AGAIN!
Jake's pointing out one of the few hits on a target.
His overall conclusion is that pumpkins make poor landmines, which is understandable because they are cultivated as Innately Edible Delicata, not IEDs. If you get my meaning. Art!
Delicatae
In true Ordnance Lab style, there was only one way to get rid of all the surplus pumpkins they'd bought and not used. No! Not soup. Nor pie. Art!
 |
| Note orange hue |
I wouldn't worry about Cucurbitophobia here in the UK as pumpkins only ever turn up in October and are gone by Halloween.
Creating Not Destroying
Which makes a pleasant change. As you ought to know by now, Conrad has occasional items about Lego sculptures, because he has absolutely no creative nor craft ability thanks to giant sausage fingers and no hand-eye co-ordination at all, thus making him appreciate the folks who are cursed with neither. Art!
This sculpture is by Mitsuru Nikaido, who interprets animals, insects and dinosaurs as cybernetic organisms, done in a trademark palette of white and grey blocks. That above is a cyber-snail. Art!
Mecha-nautilus
It's good to have a hobby and I'm glad this chap's hobby keeps him off the streets, as heaven only knows what he'd do otherwise*.
Wait, What?
It's definitely 25th December, Christmas Day, and definitely not 1st April, All Fools Day (and also the birthday of the RAF, which the other services never let them forget). Recently on Twitter there has been a ramp-up in people pushing the Teuton 'Taurus' cruise missile for Ukraine, and I noticed this graphic. Art!
My Teuton is extremely limited, yet surely the Taurus does not come equipped with '400 kilograms of heavy Marzipan roll'?
Let's break this down.
"Zum beschenken von zielen uber grosse entfernung" = for giving gifts
over long distances
"Geschenkflugkorpfer Santa Taurus" = "Gift missile Santa Taurus"
"Glitzersternchen-Antrieb" = "Glitter Star-drive". Of course it is.
"Sensoren zur Orc-Findung" = "It sniffs out Ruffians". Clearly.
"Christstollen zur vorspeise" = "Christmas Stollen as a starter" In case you were unaware, Stollen is a heavy Teuton Christmas cake - with a marzipan centre.
"Schneeradar" = "Snow radar". Because necessary.
"Kaminsensoren" = "Chimney sensors"
"Keksvorrat" = "Cookie stash"
Teutons not having a sense of humour, hmmmmm?
"City In The Sky"
Ace, being interrogated by a biologist aboard Arcology One, is finding her temper and hunger making their presence known.
‘Why are you so interested in fertility and “fecundity”? and what’s “biome accretion coefficient”?’
For the first time since they met, Solly showed an emotion – surprise.
‘Oh. Of course. You don’t know our priorities. We need to know how well crops will grow and
whether or not our livestock will survive and thrive when we get back
Downstairs. Currently all our data is
theoretical.’ He looked at her with his
analytical gaze before volunteering more.
‘From orbit we can’t determine essential biological data. Like the biome accretion coefficient.’
He then went back over the wildlife she’d seen in
By this time Ace teetered on the edge of boredom-induced sleep, balanced
only by hunger. To her mixed amusement,
embarassment and relief, a loud gurgling came from her stomach.
‘Any danger of a meal? My stomach
thinks my throat’s cut.’
The mixed idioms visibly puzzled Solly.
‘Food?’ pantomimed Ace, eating with an imaginary knife and fork.
‘Ah! I see,’ said the Nigerian,
gravely. ‘I shall Tab my wife.’
That's biologists for you.
"WW2TV"
I've only recently come across this channel on Youtube and have already transcribed notes from one of their "Myth" vlogs, featuring Robin Prior, an Ocker military historian, and co-author of an absolute must for anyone studying the British Army in the First Unpleasantness. Art!
A far broader remit than the title suggests
I've just spotted another Youtube thumbnail that - hang on, let Art tell the tale.
This has, up until recently, been a truism as military historians have been almost exclusively male. The only female in the field that readily comes to mind is Barbara Tuchman, who is really the exception that proves the rule. I can tell you that "The London Cage", which I own, is by Helen Fry, and one of the co-authors of "Civil War" is Maggie Millington, and "The English Civil War" is by Diane Purkiss. That's all the female authors that figure in my collection of over 900 books, so there's an argument that we males might consider allowing a few more to join in.
More seriously, it's about the quality of their work, rather than their gender, that ought to speak for them.
Hey, look at me, I'm all woke and progressive! I'll probably feel better tomorrow morning.
Finally -
A moment's silence for those sitting in a snowy trench in defence of their nation, they may not have peace but you can send a bit of goodwill their way.
* The odds are on creating real-life kaiju.
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