No! That Is Not A Typo For "Kilotons"
It is, tasteless as we are, quite apposite if pronounced the same. For Lo! today we are looking at what you might technically call "Kilotons of Tri-Nitro-Toluene Equivalent", usually abbreviated to simply 'Kilotons', when talking about extremely large explosions.
Here an aside. Yes, already! Your Humble Scribe heard a song over the tannoy in some retail establishment or other, and was quite taken with the chorus, which involved "Summer", "Sun" and what sounded like a set of tubular bells being played. Art!
A misnomer of a title
Hmmm it turned out to be "Summer Son" by Texas, which I tracked down thanks to my superior Google-fu skills.
ANYWAY back to big bangs. There was, of late, a Ruffian ship that went off in harbour at Feodosia, thanks to Stormzy taking an interest in it, and the cargo being lots and lots of high explosives. The ship is now a wreck at the dockside, and various large bits of it have been located up to a kilometer one-sixth of a mile away. Art!
Embedded a yard into the ground. Also, love, beware of windows.
I bet you think that's impressive, nicht wahr? Not so. One-hundred and six years ago there was an appalling catastrophe in the port of Halifax, in Canuckistan, which dwarfs this one. The Ruffian ship was only carrying 500 tons of cargo. Art!
December 1917
THIS is what happens when 2,810 tons of high explosive goes off. You see, the Mont-Blanc, a French freighter carrying this cargo, had been hit by the Nork Imo, breaching her hull and smashing containers of benzol, which is a liquid itching to catch fire or explode, or catch fire and then explode, or just plain explode. Art!
Before conversion to world's biggest 3D jigsaw
The Imo then reversed out of the collision, which naturally created metal-on-metal sparks, and suddenly the MB was afire. Her crew, well aware of what she carried, didn't try to scuttle her, which would have at least perhaps prevented an explosion; no, they hastened ashore and took cover. Nineteen minutes after collision, the MB went up in the world's largest pre-nuclear explosion to date, killing over 1,500 people and injuring another 9,000. Not surprising when you consider the blast was about 20% of the Hiroshima bomb's yield. Art!
Suprisingly, the Imo survived, though nobody on deck at the time did. She was refloated, then converted into a whale-oil tanker re-christened "Governor" (and ran aground in 1920). Unsurprisingly, nothing was left of the Mont-Blanc and pieces were found up to three miles from the port. Art!
Part of an half-ton anchor found over two miles from the harbour. The thing about ammunition freighters is that they carry enormous amounts of ordnance and if anything goes wrong, it goes SPECTACULARLY wrong.
Expect the Ruffians to claim a bit of light buffing and some gaffer tape and their ship will be back in service soon. Yeah, right. How duMB can you get!
Sadly, I'm afraid the Halifax disaster isn't unique, as there was an even larger explosion at Port Chicago in July 1944, and one almost as large in the port of Beirut in 2020.
And now for an item of considerably lighter tone
MacGuffins Assemble!
Yes, we are back on the subject of "The Daily Beast"'s mysterious artefacts, which I've often put up in the past, and then not bothered to identify afterwards, which must have left you all angry and frustrated. Tee hee! I mean sorry. Art!
Shark Roleplay Prosthetic, Lineless Fishing Reel, World's Smallest Siren, Digital Veeblefetzer and Hand-Held Metaphorical Bottom-Hole Detector. That's my best guess, powered by whimsy, complete fabrication and a tenuous connection with reality.
For a change, let's see what they really are. Art!
So. The 'shark' bit was accurate. The rest is frankly boring. Art!
More bore. Art!
You know, I wasn't all that far out here. These things are for attaching to an exhaust, so it makes - a silly noise? Art!
Conrad can safely guarantee these will be bought by middle-aged men who are overcompensating. Art!
Another deadly-dull car gadget, that - tell you what, skip that, informing you would make me fall asleep. Art!
Yet another deadly-dull car gadget, that - tell you what, skip that, informing you would make me fall asleep. Again. Henry Ford and Hans Daimler have a lot to answer for.
"City In The Sky"
Don't whine, you've just had a load of pictures, so you can just put up with a wall of text. To recap, a nasty, highly-debilitating fever is running rampant aboard Arcology One.
‘Doctor Davros?’ came a tinny little voice from the cylinder, and Davy
realised it was a miniature radio transceiver of very dated origin, nothing as
sophisticated as the sphere’s Tabs.
‘Yes. Who is – oh! – Doctor Smith!’
he spluttered.
‘Indeed,’ came the voice, and even though the faint reproduction was
bad, the small man’s cold anger came across with chilling weight. ‘And you are looking at both the source of
your mystery plague and Patient Zero.’
Barclay tottered over to an empty bamboo bed and draped himself across
with all the presence of a banana skin.
‘K’nerek!’ blurted Davy,
reverting to Armenian for a second.
‘What the hell do you mean!’
‘I gave Ace strict instructions not
to allow anyone access to this radio.
For the very good reason that it’s contaminated with micro-organisms
from
His face flushed with anger, Davy turned to glare, tight-lipped and
biting his tongue, at the invalid Warden.
Barclay ignored him, panting heavily.
‘You allowed it to be brought aboard Arc One!’ continued Davy, almost as
angry at Doctor Smith as he was with Barclay.
‘There’s no risk unless prolonged intimate contact is involved, which is
why Ace wouldn’t have handed it over,’ sighed the other voice. The tone changed. ‘Any fatalities?’
Not yet!
I would also caution you against translating the Armenian. It might be extremely rude.
Further To My Wibblings
I may have used this map previously, as it fits in, at least roughly, with the historical era where my nonsense novel "The Annals Of Urquelomplangia" is set in terms of historical time. Art!
The salmon-coloured territory to starboard is the Ottoman Empire, which was on the back foot by this time (circa 1680), and the emerald is the Russian Tsardom. Nor could I get the "Polish" part of the "Polish and Lithuanian Commonwealth" to fit in. The blue circle delineates where Urquelomplangia would sit, if it had ever really existed. Influenced by an unholy mèlange of Turkish, Russian, Polish, Magyar and Romanian, 'twould seem, and a reason why their spoken languages are either Polish or Teuton.
Mike's ratings system goes from best to worst: Abduct Me Now; Along For The Ride; Not Great, Not Terrible; Fails At Max Q; Blows Up On The Launchpad. He may be generous if a ship appeals to him under the <ahem> Rule Of Cool. And to avoid any selection bias, the ship's order was selected randomly by his dogs. Not sure how that works, but - okay. Up first -
Conrad approves
This is the 'Rocinante' from "The Expanse". Mike and I both like it because it adheres to basic principles of physics; things like thrust, vectors, gravity, deceleration, streamlining and so on. The only sci-fi bit about the R is her fusion-powered drive. All the rest is perfectly feasible. Mike also puts a shout out for the eminently sensible magnetic boots, that prevent floating aimlessly when not under drive. He also, canny chap that he is, spotted that all the crew have either very short or bobbed hair, meaning no giant hairball in micro-gravity - which would be both a pain to CGI in, and a hazard on the flight deck when trying to fly, or carrying out any engineering.
A well-earned "Abduct Me Now".
Finally -
Better get a few eatables together, and my evening pot of tea. I have also decided that today is the last day of being Dry For December. Sue me if you disagree.
Ferewall!
No comments:
Post a Comment