Sack It

No!  I Do Not Mean The Storming Of Constantinople

In 1203, by the soldiery of the Fourth Crusade, who were supposedly co-religionists alongside the inhabitants and defenders of Byzantium's capital city.  The original idea had been to storm the city, depose the ruler and install the son of the imprisoned former ruler (Alexius III Angelus and Alexius II Angelus respectively).  Art!

The sack of Constantinople

     I do not propose to go into this in any detail as it's horribly complicated and, of course - obviously! - has nothing whatsoever to do with this Intro.

     Nor do I mean this.  Art!

     This is so obviously the Coal Sack Nebula that I feel embarrassed telling you about it.  Still less is the title about - Art!

     No, for today's Intro is once again about Meinertzhagen's Myth, that of the haversack full of fake documents that was allowed to 'accidentally' fall into the hands of the Turks, and which persuaded them that an attack was going to be made on Gaza, not Beersheba back in 1917.

     I've mentioned the names, only, of the chap who dreamed the whole scheme up, as well as the officer who actually dropped the haversack in front of a Turkish cavalry patrol at considerable personal risk.  The originator is one Colonel James Dacres Belgrave, who was an intelligence officer on General Allenby's staff at the time.  He wrote an extensive secret memo to Ol' Ally about the idea.  Art!

     Since he wasn't around to challenge Meiny, due to being dead, the lie rather stuck about the latter being the wheeze creator.

     As for the dropper of the sack, that was one Captain Arthur Charles Burnaby Neate, of the Royal Field Artillery.  Art!

     This painting by Joshua Reynolds is of Neate's ancestors.  The Captain, later Major, apparently had a post-war career in intelligence work and is presumed to thus have been hobbled in making any claims to having hauled and hefted the haversack.  Nor can I find any photographs of him, so that above will have to do.

     There was another deception ruse in operation at the same time, with Perfidious Albion pretending that an amphibious assault was going to take place on Gaza.  Fake camps and radio traffic and small craft manoeuvres and bulk purchases were made on Cyprus to fool the Turks.  Initially the Official History stated that these didn't seem to have any effect, but in later footnotes - which are so small one needs to be two inches from the page to read them - yet later states from a German source "This division, Kress definitely states, had been kept near Deir Sneid in case of a British landing."  He also stated "Besides, a possible disembarkation on the coast had to be watched."  Art!

Kress Von Kressenstein, gone a bit native

     Right!  I think I've squeezed all the content I can from the tale of this haversack and who was responsible for it, so I shall drop the topic like an over-crushed lemon wedge.  Or a faked satchel.

Let's Whale A Little On The Ruffians Again

After all, why stop when things are getting interesting?  Ah - 'interesting' as long as you're not a Ruffian passenger flying in a Ruffian airliner, because forsooth! these things are becoming increasingly unsafe.  Art!

     From a Ruffian aircraft that had to make an emergency landing Yuzhno in Siberia.  Conrad is no aeronautical engineer, but landing gear are definitely not supposed to look like that.  "Perfectly fine after a light buffing and some duct tape" explained Rosavcom in a statement*.

     Another thing I've not mentioned of late is the dollar-ruble exchange rate, which has been bumping along at about 88 or 89 rubles to the dollar.  This increase in value is directly tied to the increase in Ruffian interest rates to an eye-watering 15%.

     However - a word you knew was coming - 

     A slide this rapid from what was (I think) 88.80 yesteryon does not bode well for the future.  It may be a mere blip that settles down again quickly.

     Or it may not.

Another Subculture I Never Knew Existed

And another rabbit hole I found with no idea how.  Meet 'Quiet Nerd', a vlogger on Youtube who built his own camping shelter, and then demonstrated how it enabled him to survive comfortably in the depths of winter in a barren, deserted wasteland.  Sounds like a scene from "Mad Max", right?  Hmmm except he has snow, not sand.  Art!

     He nicknamed it 'The Cheesebox' and with good reason.  One supposes the bright yellow is to make it easy to find if things go pear-shaped.  It has wheels to make it easy to move, no dragging or <gasp> carrying it around in the trackless wilderness.  Art!

     Step One is to use a screw-peg as a ground guy, to prevent winds shifting The Cheesebox.  Sound practice.  Step Two was a design tweak, to ensure better draughtproofing when the 'door' is shut.  You can see the overlapping tape to get rid of gaps.  Art!

The interior shows off how robustly constructed it is, with timber and lots of metal plates and screws holding it together.  No prospect of the roof collapsing or having your sleeping bag cause a collapse onto the cold hard ground.  Art!

     Then he gets ready to go to bed, with a foam sheet for insulation, an inflatable mattress for comfort and a huge sleeping bag on top of both.  He may be quiet but he's not daft, he keeps as much clothing on as he can.  Art!

     His secret weapon here are bountiful amounts of hand-warmers, those handy-dandy little packets that create heat for a while once you give them a solid mauling, which he stuffed inside the sleeping bag once he'd got in it.  Art!

     QN then spent a comfortably warm night in The Cheesebox inside his sleeping bag, whilst frost accumulated on the outside and the dregs in his coffee cup froze solid.  Well done Quiet Nerd!

     The real question, to Conrad, is WHY?

"City In The Sky"

Alex is feeling rather sorry for himself, all alone and suffering from a vaguely-defined yet unpleasant ailment that feels like the mother of all flu attacks.

     Shadows were getting longer when Mike came to retrieve him from a prolonged but uncomfortable doze.  By then the headache, the pains and weakness were definitely passing.

     ‘Doctor said to get you fed,’ explained Mike.  ‘We’ll go back to The Sanctuary.  Feel up to eating?’

     A growl from his stomach provided the answer.  They took it slowly, and when Alex sat down to make a good effort upon a plate of grilled chicken, potatoes and carrots he realised that even more new faces had arrived.  They kept up a tired chatter amongst themselves, asking how life was in their different townships.

     ‘How long have I been asleep?’

     Mike grinned ruefully.

     ‘It’s nearly seven, so about ten hours.  Glad you feel better.  You worried me, you know.’

     When Alex pushed the empty plate away, the memory of this morning’s bizarre experience in the bedroom came back.  Seen through the lens of a fever, he felt he’d been hallucinating, and wanted to make sure he’d seen what he thought he’d seen.

     ‘Can we go back to my room?  I need to get a few things – I left my toolbox there.’

     Oooh I say, what's going to be revealed?

Kitsch Kitchen Kit

Conrad heartily agrees with the website on this invention - utter rubbish that exists only to separate suckers from their money.  Art!

     I use our kitchen scissors to cut pizza, and thus saved £18 on this farrago.  Note the ridiculously clumsy base that renders it completely useless for any other possible cutting purpose in the kitchen, unless you're an ambidextrous acrobat.

Finally -

Conrad is watching "Suicide Squad" again, as it must be two years since watching it first time round, and, as usual, my relentlessly logical mind** immediately picked up on a smidgeon of a plot hole.  I shan't bore you with the details here as I can, instead, bore you with them tomorrow, or later today, depending on how I feel.  Art!

     Laters!

*  Actually I made it up.  Tee hee!

**  Yes, today we are relentlessly logical.  Live with it.