If Any Of You Out There Recognise That Name -
Then you must be psychic, as I've only just made it up. It does resemble another name quite closely, so if it was that you were thinking of, then it dates both you and I.
Let us proceed, Mister Steed (this will make sense later).
In this oh-so-modern age, where you have a virtual-this and a digital-that, the prefix 'Cyber-' is quite common. I can assure you that back in the day it was highly uncommon, and mostly used with reference to the inhabitants of the planet Mondas, who were more familiar as - Art!
CYBERMEN!
This is the Mark 1 iteration, as they went on to meddle and tinker with their design over the millennia. Frankly, they scared the living wee out of Conrad, because they aren't simply robots. O no. What lies under that mechanical exterior is what's left of a human(oid) being, which is best demonstrated with the Mark 1, that being the reason it's here. If the Cybermen laid their (originally still human, note picture to starboard) hands upon you they wouldn't simply kill you, as that would be wasteful. No, they would thoughtfully turn you into one of them. Art!
Of course - obviously! - this is not what our Intro is about. Conrad seems to remember a newspaper article that claimed in the future we could all be 'cybermen' (note small 'c'), even the ladies, by having digital technology entwined around our spinal column. This would enable Hom. Sap. to do frightfully clever things that I cannot remember, as it was several decades ago and old age and gin, don't you know. Perhaps turn the kettle on and have the toaster get going whilst you're just getting out of bed? That would be useful. Art!
Not remotely apt but the best I could do
Where were we?
O yes. Back in Season Five of "The Avengers" - how they avoided the litigious South Canadians over at Marvel from not suing I don't know - they introduced a set of villainous henchmachines called - Art!
These were rather dumb robots that were used as murder weapons in an incredibly complicated and contrived plot, not to take over the world but to end up as the primary chief operating officer of United Automation and reap all the shareholder dividends, har har! Or something like that. Art!
The episode blurb describes them as 'perfect killing machines', who despatch their prey with an admittedly devastating karate chop. Conrad begs to differ. For one thing, they stand out rather, being about seven feet tall. Then, too, they are made out of bright shiny metal, which again would attract attention. Couldn't they get a bit of face paint to blend in? The Cybernauts constituted a popular villain as they came back in two further episodes.
Of course - obviously! - none of this is anything to do with what this Intro is really about, which is a bit of kit known as the "Cybertruck". Art!
My first question is - what the heck is this thing? and what is it for? and without Googling Your Humble Scribe decided that it appeared to be a species of pick-up truck, and an ugly one at that. With a rather small cargo bed, as I've seen photos of it unable to fit an adult-sized bike in it. Not that ought to dissuade any parents whose children have bikes. Buy away! Art?
This is where the constraints of design and intent collide. You see, to get any decent range out of your Cybertruck, it needs a 'battery expansion pack' that you see above, which takes up almost a third of the cargo bed itself. Parents with children's bikes become apprehensive. This ought not to dissuade any parents whose children have roller skates. Buy away! Art?
Then, in what is surely the next logical step, people decided to test how bulletproof the Cybertruck was.
Wait, what?
I don't think the tagline "Hey - It's Bulletproof!" will particularly help it sell in This Sceptred Isle. Art!
Not only that, they used a Thompson M1928, a Glock and an MP5 to shoot it with, all three of which fire small-calibre low-powered pistol rounds. Nor do they shoot at the windows or windshield because - er - I don't know. Politeness? Nobody would ever consider using a rifle against a Cybertruck, because that would be uncouth, and everyone knows that glass is indestructibly bulletproof against even atomic warheads O I give up.
If my persuasive blather has convinced you that you CANNOT LIVE without a Cybertruck, then you may purchase one for £80,000. Good luck with that. Conrad is of the opinion that they look like a cheap-and-nasty Seventies sci-fi car mocked up on a humble Ford chassis. Art!
Like one of these, just smaller
Conrad - Parsing Hair-Splitting To The Nth Degree
I have recently re-watched and enjoyed "Suicide Squad", which is definitely not a film for minors thanks to a very high Tut Factor.
To preçis a little: the plot requires our less-than-dashing band of heroes (a word doing a lot of heavy lifting) to get onto the island of Corto Maltese, then infiltrate the Project Jotunheim tower and blow it up, destroying everything inside. Art!
It's a bit difficult to find any images of this building intact. Art!
See?
That above shows enough for me to point out a bit of a plot hole. Jotunheim is a massive, static structure that can be accurately pinpointed via GPS. Corto Maltese is hardly a military peer of South Canada, so it's not going to have Patriots or Iris-T SAM systems and most likely relies on air defence by 23m.m. anti-aircraft guns.
So! There is nothing stopping the South Canadian Air Force from hitting it with, say, five JDAMs one after the other. Or five Tomahawks, one after the other. Or five ATACMS one after the other. Or all three, in order to render the rubble to gravel and then sand.
But deniability! screech the scriptwriters.
Please! You're pleading real-world criteria in a film featuring this - Art!
Of course, I may be overthinking this ...
If I Put This Here, I Can Get Rid Of The Favourite Quicker
Conrad is trying to whittle down the very long list of bookmarked Favourites on his browser, because - well, efficiency, you know. So, let us have another look at the sly, clever short known as "Hell No!" It's an anti-horror film as regards all those tropes in the vapid clichè-ridden horror films that get churned out. Art!
Plainly, bad things are happening here as matey continues to record on his digital camera. Art!
Erk!
Yup, there's the source of the Bad Things Happening. Art!
Matey and the friend who asked "Why are you still filming?" are both out of there at Usain Bolt speed. This, you see, is what people in real life would do. Instead of sticking around to get the perfect up-close shot that gets them devoured.
Sorry, I Couldn't Resist
Over on Quora there are classes of questions that come up again and again, leading to them becoming a standard for selection. Other questions are so witlessly inane that one can only presume those posting are drunk, on drugs or are doing it for a dare. Have a look at these juxtaposed examples. Art!
Your Honour, I rest my case.
"City In The Sky"
Well, now we know that the eeeeeevil aliens have a cunning plan, central to which is the Doctor ending up dead. The Doctor, mind you, is well aware that he has a target on his back.
The Doctor felt the anxiety, and
excitement, that came from trying to do several imporant things all at
once. The not-quite-adrenaline of his
Gallifreyan metabolism was helping him cope, thinking on the move.
First, he had to ensure Alex remained safe. The fever he’d expected the arcology resident
to contract was debilitating but temporary, yet it left the young man
vulnerable at a time when the hidden assassin would be desperately trying to
get rid of these unwanted visitors from the Stars. So, a trip to the clinic and a hasty flattery
of the doctor-in-residence allowed Alex to recover from fever whilst in safe
company.
Next, he wanted to delay making his grand announcement in the evening to
allow as many newcomers from other coastal communities to arrive. Still, he had to balance that with being
stalked by the unidentified killer – even if he had a fairly good idea who it
was – since the longer he waited, the more chances they had of striking and by
the law of averages might be successful this time. To avoid becoming an easy target he made
certain to stay on the well-worn main road that ran from Eucla to the
Cute if you like lizards, I suppose, and they won't bark at the postie.
"Catafalque"
No, I have no idea why this word popped up into my head. I mean, as if Conrad has any idea how his mind works! It was to do with funerals, as I recalled, and Conrad wondered if it might not be a beer. A BIER! BIER! No going dry for December has no
ANYWAY Art!
It's a raised platform used for ceremonial display of a coffin, usually for state funerals as with Queenie. So now we all know more than we did ten minutes ago.
Finally -
Better post and ghost. Later!
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