You Might Well Think I Was Referring To That Classic
"Sweet Home Alabama" by Lynyrd Skynyrd, one of the unluckiest bands in the southlands of South Canada, out-unlucked probably only by The Allman Brothers Band. If my memory serves, the 'nyrd went warbling on about how wonderful Alabama was, especially because it had blue skies. Art!
I don't think you'd be able to get away with flying the Confederate flag nowadays, but we are talking of events nearly fifty years in the past. Let's bring up a few of the lyrics.
Firstly, one would need to explain to a modern audience just what "Watergate" was, and on
ANYWAY you'd be completely wrong about us referencing the song. For one thing, it is fearfully divisive, and for another we are talking - no! Dog Buns, that's "Sweet Tooth", yes his home may have been sweet but WRONG! Art!
It's a Sork apocalyptic genre series, for your information, and the very last thing you can say about it, is that it is 'sweet'.
Season One centred largely around a bunch of residents trapped in the Green Home apartment complex, because the city outside is undergoing terminal breakdown, thanks to the arrival of monsters. These are transformed people, who morph into grotesque monsters whose main desire is to kill uninfected humans. Art!
There's no rationale given for why this plague arrives, nor of whom will or will not become 'monsterized', as the clumsy phraseology has it. First symptom is a copious nosebleed that runs like a tap. Then - Art!
Hey Pesto - monsterized!
Our hero, Hyun-Soo, gets stricken with the monster plague, except he embraces his inner monster and is able to retain his humanity. In fact he becomes a protector, of sorts, trying to keep the apartment block's residents safe from monster attack. His monster-form (if you can call it that) manifests a gigantic metallic 'wing'. Art!
Definitely not 'armless
With that recap over, Season Two seems to have a bigger budget, as we'll illustrate. Firstly, Hyun-Soo has been abducted by the military, because - well, one presumes because he's a suitable case for treatment. The army also turns up to 'rescue' the survivors at Green Home, which turns out to be a verrrry bad move for them. One turns into a monster, which strangles another survivor before being turned into a human monster torch, and another is killed by a collapsing building. Art!
Your Humble Scribe is now up to Episode Five, where the apocalypse has already taken place, no thanks to the politicians who tried to blow up everybody taking refuge at the stadium above. Out of sheer bad-to-the-bone evil, I think. One on-screen title informs us that we are now into Day 337 of the outbreak, with the focus now on a large group of survivors living beneath the stadium ruins, protected by the surviving members of 'Crow Platoon'. There are 430 civilians and 28 members of the platoon left, of an original 60, because scavenging for food or protecting the stadium is very dangerous work. Art!
Here you see Hyun-Soo and Sang Wook, and the concept of 'Neo-humans' is introduced. People who have transcended their inner monster, yet whom can utilise said monstrous abilities whilst retaining their human qualities. Of course - obviously! - it's not as simple as that.
Definitely a wild ride. Conrad recommends you see Season One to get a grounding in monster lore, yet you can dive right into Season Two and make sense of it (mostly).
Experimental Ice Cream Is Go
That 'diabetic' recipe turned out rather rubbish, so Conrad, Your Modest Artisan, has come up with a tweak. Art!
Please don't get confused by the vegetables to port, they're for the Sunday Stew NOT the ice cream. So, I used half the amount of sugar required, and made the rest up with Canderel, the sweetener. Art!
The thing about Canderel is that it's nowhere near as dense as sugar, so I had to go by volume instead of weight. Just to be sure, I left it in the ice cream maker for a good half hour, because Dog Buns! nobody wants ice crystals in their Raspberry And Yoghurt Ice Cream. I figured that a 'cold' recipe like this, that doesn't require a custard base, would be less likely to get futzed by the sweetener. The whole batch is now freezing in the - you may be ahead of me here - freezer and we'll see what it turns out like tomorrow.
Bordering On Politics But Only Just And It's Also Historical So That's Okay
Thanks go to Missileer Jake Broe - who looks and behaves nothing like either Tanner or Denton in the first third of "Damnation Alleyway" even though all three were in the South Canadian Air Force - for detailing exactly what the National Defence Authorisation Act is and what it denotes. Art!
Jake explained that the South Canadian Constitution's creators had a healthy distrust of standing armies, and instead wanted their infant nation to be defended by a citizen militia.
All very well in the late eighteenth century when all you need to worry about is the Army and Navy. Come the early to mid-twentieth century and South Canada creates a large standing army, which has to be legally validated by Congress every two years, no two ways about it with any finagling or barnstorming or blathering or filibustering: IT HAS TO BE DONE. Art!
Conrad, being the hair-splitting pedant that he is, understands that the South Canadian Air Force was originally - and I'll have to acknowledge reality here <winces> - the 'United States Army Air Force'. Well, what happened when it became a separate entity, because Hamilton and Madison had never imagined an air force when they scribbled out their notes, did they?
"City In The Sky"
The Doctor is now in his element, being able to both lecture and impress with his cleverness.
The Doctor retrieved his umbrella and pointed it at Don like a rifle.
‘It’s an alien device, an infrasonic generator designed to amp up human
aggression to killing levels.’
The collective of coasties and Mike on the stage stared at the Doctor,
then back at Don.
‘Let’s see what’s under that shirt, Don,’ hissed Lenny, the knife back
in his hand.
Don turned to see other members of the audience were blocking the exit
from the stage. Licking his lips, he
suddenly threw himself at Lenny, trying to impale himself on the knife –
-
which got twitched out of the way by a deftly-wielded umbrella handle, causing
Don and Lenny to go down in a tangle of arms and legs.
‘Get hold of him! He’s trying to
kill himself!’ shouted the Doctor. A
dozen brawny hands laid hold of the mayor and dragged him upright, incidentally
tearing his shirt open.
Thoughtfully, the Doctor sucked his teeth. A metallic disk the size of man’s palm had
been apparently welded into Don’s chest, angry-looking scars running around the
circumference.
‘What the hell’s going on, Don!’ snarled Mike. ‘What’s that thing in your chest?’
‘I was about to begin explaining this when you interrupted, Mike. I didn’t realise how determined and drastic
these aliens are. One of them has blown
their collective cover, and incidentally provided concrete evidence of their
existence.’ He turned to Alex and
bowed. ‘Thank you for coming to my
rescue!’
Grace under pressure there.
One Step Closer To SKYNET!
You know, the evil AI of "Terminator" infamy that attempts to destroy Hom. Sap. and does a pretty good job of it. Take a look at this. Art!
What you see here is an autonomous parking robot, which has detected a car invalidly occupying a 'Disabled' space, and is removing it. This takes place in Perfidious Albion and is a sober warning to all you meatbags out there that your days are numbered.
One day soon that truck will be autonomous, too. I bet Elong Tusk is working on it even now at the behest of his robot wives.
Finally -
A week to go until Christmas. Also Your Abstemious Scribe has been alcohol-free these three weeks. Er - welllllll there are a couple of tablespoons of vodka in the ice cream to prevent it from turning into a solid brick but we'll not count those, right? Right!
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