Roger DOJer

NO!  That Is NOT A Spelling Mistake

It's an hilarious pun I tell you.  Hilarious!  

     Okay, I will try to skate as lightly as I can o'er the thin ice of Politics, for what lies beneath the surface is toxic and unpleasant.  Art!

     Right, so you may or may not be aware that Darth Marmalade is under investigation by umpteen agencies for alleged misdeeds, not including flushing Top Secret papers down the toilet.  This has enraged some of his followers, who have loudly protested that the South Canadian Department Of Justice be de-funded, as well as the FBI, because how dare they and it's all a political witch-hunt (cont. Page 96).

     Conrad was inspired by a snarky commentator on Quora to actually go check and see exactly what the DOJ consists of in terms of constituent organisations, because - a chart would be easier.  Art!

     More clearly -

     As you can see (with a bit of squinting), the FBI is actually part of the DOJ and thus doesn't need to be separately de-funded.  Oooops.  I bet some people are feeling a little silly now.  O and there you go, the Drug Enforcement Administration is also a constituent organisation.  Imagine that - "Keep drugs off the streets - have them in your homes!" sounds like a great slogan.

     What else do we have?  O yes, the Bureau Of Prisons.  So you have two choices: let all the criminals in South Canada out of prison (1.2 million of them), or just let them die in their cells, because there's nobody to staff or run the prisons.  Art!

     That's the Florence Supermax prison in Colorado.  Imagine all their inmates being released!

     But wait!  For there's more.  The Bureau Of Alcohol, Firearms And Tobacco is also part of the DOJ.  Conrad admits to being a little hazy about them and what they do <pauses to Google> hmmmm they officially have "And Explosives" tacked onto their title.  Right, they exist to prosecute anyone illegally involved with the nouns in their title, as well as investigate arson.  Art!

     Were I to go through the whole organisational chart we'd have a blog twice the normal length, so I shall only go through a few at this point.  The Office For Legal Counsel provides legal advice to the Prez and various executive agencies, either when things are verrry tricky legally, or when two or more agencies disagree with each other.  It was the OLC who advised the Mueller Enquiry that, no matter what they found, they could not indict a sitting Prez.  To the considerable relief of A Certain Someone.

     The Office Of Tribal Justice came into being at the behest of various Native American tribal leaders as an agency that deals with 'Indian-country specific legal and legislative affairs', which seems a little dull, frankly.

     Thus, if the DOJ were, indeed, rogered, it would significantly affect South Canada, and not in a good way.

     Motley!  Thank heavens there isn't a BATFE in This Sceptres Isle, I don't think they'd appreciate our barbed wire and minefields, nor the stills or the M163 we use for anti-aircraft defence.  You'd better go throw a camo net over the latter, just in case.

Can also chop down trees

"Inside Russia"

More from Our Man In Ukbekistan (Konstantin).  No, he's not inside Ruffia at present, because he feared mobilisation, or imprisonment thanks to the FSB taking an interest.

     Here an aside.  Like Konstantin, Misha Firer on Quora makes his satirical and critical replies in English, which must be the reason he's not fallen out of a window, because he really pulls back the rug.

     ANYWAY Konstantin was making the point that the internal car market in Ruffia has rolled over and died.  To get spare parts for Western cars means stealing them from other Western car owners.  Art!

     Second-hand Chinese cars are now entering the Ruffian market place, and last year pre-war were retailing at about ₽750,000 or about $9,000.  Now, lamented Kon, they're going for ₽1,500,000, or about $18,000.  Which is more than two year's salary for the average Ruffian, and is the price you used to pay for a brand new Jaguar or Nissan.

MEANWHILE IN RUSSIA | News Update April 19, 2023 - YouTube

     That's Kon's latest Youtube if you feel inclined to have a look.

You Couldn't Make It Up

And if you did people would accuse you of making up ridiculously nonsensical shizzle.  Art!

     This is the moment that a Ruffian bomber drops a bomb on the Ruffian city of Belgorod.  Only by the grace of God was nobody killed.  It's suspected that it was a bomb fitted with 'wings' that enable it to glide to it's target in Ukraine, except the wings fell off.  However -

     A day and a half later, the Ruffians discovered a SECOND bomb that had impacted, this time without exploding.  3,000 people were evacuated whilst those lucky, lucky lads above got to dig it out.  Art!

Russian pilot prepares to give interview

"We'll Be The Pirate Twins Again -"

" - Europa".  Thus sang Thomas Dolby.  The reason I mention this and that is because NASA has a mission to that very same named moon of Jupiter, which will arrive in-system about the same time as ESA's JUICE mission.  Art!

Clipper over Europa

     The idea and intent is to closely monitor Europa, which is known to have an extensive ocean under the surface mantle of ice.  Water being held as one of the precursors of life, the ocean might still be sterile.  Or it could be hotching with microbial life.  Or -

"The Sea Of Sand"

The beleaguered loyalist garrison at the trans-mat platform are trying to outlast their attackers, which is not going to work, and here's why.

Kosad gestured to a panel, as if to make a technical point, in front of the technician, who turned back to face it.  Kosad Eviscerated the technician on the spot.

          ‘Supplies will only arrive once we defeat the rabble who have risen against us!’ snapped Kosad.  ‘Bear that in mind!  Victory or death, no other alternatives exist.’

          He stamped angrily outside again, looking to see if he could catch any defender slacking or sleeping.

          No.  The defenders stood to their big-bore dart-throwers, the heavy stunners, the glass-mortars.  All alert, all ready, all waiting expectantly.

          Kosad and his garrison might have felt slightly complacent.  This feeling was unwarranted, as they were pitching their wits against the Doctor, his knowledge of trans-mat systems and aerodynamics.

          The defenders of the trans-mat complex were audibly assaulted by a tremendous crack, akin to the loudest peal of thunder imaginable.  That was the arrival, on the trans-mat platform, of thirty thousand tons of silt and water displacing the air normally present on the platform.  For a mere fraction of a second, the water piled a meter deep atop the platform retained a circular shape, before collapsing into full flow.  This initial tidal wave of muddy water was followed by another one hundred and twenty thousand tons of icy clear water.  Those bio-vores amongst the defenders who were not crushed or drowned outright were stunned into paralysed unconsciousness by the tidal wave, whose chill waters were exothermic anathema to them.

          You need to bring your best game when you're facing the Doctor!

     And with that, Vulnavia, we are done.