If Holly Would -

No!  We Are Not Talking About Journalist Holly Patrick

Who writes for 'The Independent', and whom authored a piece poking fun at Darth Marmalade, a.k.a. 'Captain Chaos'.  She was quoting that amusing sleazebag Michael Cohen, who used to be the Agent Orange's fixer-in-chief.  Art!

ASSERTION: A bad day for Trump
COROLLARY: Is a good day for Cohen

     Since now-Citizen Trump got him disbarred and imprisoned, Ol' Mike is rabidly keen on returning the favour, and mocked the turn-out in support of his sepia superior - "Like a high-school bake-out" in terms of numbers.  Well, come evening on this side of The Pond, we'll discover exactly what those charges are.

     Here an aside.  Yes, already!  Read 'em and seep.  Lawrence O'Donnell, a television news anchor who patently and obviously hates the Mango Mussolini with a passion - Art!

     - pointed out that the hearing today may lay down ground rules for Citizen Trump about what he can or cannot say.  No more invocation of baseball bats in connection with District Attorney Bragg's head, for example.  It would be interesting, to put it mildly, to see Citizen Trump attempting to keep to a script when pulpitting at a rally.

     ANYWAY neither are we talking about actress Holly Hunter, who epitomises a bottle-rocket firecracker.  If Harvey Weinstein had tried it on with her, one can imagine him arriving at the Intensive Care Unit ("Emergency Room" to our South Canadian readers) turned into a human pretzel with sundry tender bits and pieces stuffed into his mouth.  Art!

<sighs longingly>

     No, what I am talking about today is the sad divide between Hollywood today and the Hollywood of yesteryon.  We here at BOOJUM! have been banging on about the 1970 film "Tora!  Tora!  Tora!" which is notable for trying to be realistic and even-handed.  It's not perfect but it's heart is in the right place.

     Then we have "U-571*".

     O dearie me.  Art!

"Complete fiction from beginning to end"

          The film is supposedly set in mid-1944, when - excuse me - "When only a gallant band of intrepid South Canadians can change the course of history and avert total disaster!!"

     This premise is utter mangled-wurzel, and I should know as I'm reading Bernard Ireland's "The Battle Of The Atlantic" at present.  The Royal Navy STAND UP FOR A MINUTE IN RESPECT was well aware that the Teutons had a cipher system since the Second Unpleasantness began and had been laying their hands on various captured documentation since February 1940.  Art!

     This rather compelling photograph shows 'HMS Bulldog' capturing the Teuton U-boat U-110, intact; which also meant capturing it's Enigma coding machine.

     In May of 1941.

     This rather pre-empts Hollywood.  In fact, RN sailors had died aboard captured U-boats that sank before their Enigma machines could be torn from their mountings, because that's how seriously seizing one of these machines was taken.  Unsurprisingly, the British press were not impressed that Holly would be so cavalier with the truth.  Nor were British politicians, because 'U-571'* made it onto the floor of Parliament, in a bad way.  Art!

     Just imagine the screenplay for Conrad's 'South Canadian Mutiny' epic, where the gallant yet outnumbered British, adhering strictly to the rules of war, are overwhelmed by the Continental Army of Dutch, Swedish and Prussians who routinely commit atrocities and war crimes, with a few South Canadian camp-followers in the rear, fronted by the incoherent, senile and unwashed George Washington.  I bet it would go down a storm in Ruffia and China!

     Motley, fetch the nitro-glycerine and a set of sealable containers, for I feel a juggling competition coming on.

Conrad's Cookery Continues

This time I have proof.  I mentioned yesteryon that I'd made UKRAINIAN Borscht, which is definitely a different recipe from the Ruffian variety, and I posted thus on "Ukraine Matters", the English-language vlog channel run by Georgie, who is Danish, and whom comes equipped with a Ukrainian wife.  Art!

     Imagine my surprise when Georgie responded in person, informing Your Humble Scribe that there's no "T" in the Ukrainian version, and enquiring how it went?

     Tastily.  Art!

     I should have scaled the recipe down a bit, that's at least eight portions in the upper photo.  And in the lower, we have Borsch and Bigos, for an Eastern European lunch.

     Slava Ukraina!

The Biter, Bit

A tale of karma with teeth and claws from Quora.  Original Poster had their idea stolen by a colleague at work, who put it to management as their very own scheme.  Very well, felt OP, take the credit for my work, because you're an incompetent bottomhole who can't do the work for real.  Art!

     And indeed they could not.  Thieving Colleague had boasted to OP how this gig was going to lead to their promotion, whilst OP would be stuck at entry-level forever.  Conrad is unsure how they thought this would work out, since TC squirmed like an eel to try and get OP to do the work, all to no avail

     Come six months later, the whole project fails and TC is fired.  OP begins to climb the management ladder.

     Nine years later, OP is tackled by a colleague, who asks him to confirm TC's highly unusual name.  It transpires that TC had served the colleague just that lunchtime, as a humble minion at McDonalds.

"Do you want flies with that?"

     Who's entry level now, hmmmmm?

"The Sea Of Sand"

The Doctor is preaching to an appreciative audience of rebellious bio-vores as their society undergoes the pangs of a revolution.

‘What is your moral stance?’ asked the Doctor of his audience, turning and looking at them, and realising with a well-concealed start that his audience had unobtrusively grown to number several hundreds.  ‘What is your attitude?  How do you feel?’

          With a strange, backward bow, Imgelissa addressed the Doctor.

          ‘We the Farmers feel what we have long felt, that it is folly to extort life from life, criminal to destroy others that others may live.  We can subsist on the energies of algae,  without resort to the life-energies of our fellows, without sapping other worlds of their life.  The Farmers can exist as a self-sufficient culture, if we ever get free of the cursed Warriors!’

          The Doctor folded his arms and stared intently at Imgelissa.

          ‘You may be getting just that, Farmer Imgelissa.  You called me a prophet before.’  Theatrically, the Doctor stopped to sweep his arms wide, indicating everyone now listening.  ‘No!  Not a prophet.  I merely predicted what would happen when you, the Farmers, finally stood up to your masters.  All that has happened since is the result of your actions, not mine.’

          Long murmurs of discussion went around the listening aliens, who looked impressed with this intellectual distinction.

          The Doctor looked on with approval.  Self-determination, very good!

      Quite the Vladimir Ilyich moment!

"Things To Come"

Yes, gentle readers (both of you), more screenshots from the 1936 film.  Art!

     Ah yes, that headline that all nations at war have promulgated since the dawn of time 'One more push'.  Conrad feels that this is being put over on Ruffian television every day and has been since March last year.

     This shot shows a victim of the 'Wandering Sickness', an infectious disease that has no cure and which is 100% fatal, which was utterly unknown to science in the days before war broke out.  In fact, it is so deadly that Your Humble Scribe strongly suspects that someone had been dabbling in biological warfare, in  addition to the extensive use of gas as a weapon.  Also, since it's 1966, why has nobody invented an atomic weapon?  That would really put the tiger amongst the pigeons.  Also, note that Everytown seems to have a lack of care and feeling about the repair and maintenance of architecture.  Frankly, the town council is doing a shocking job!

*  Note our subtle use of the 'Fiction' colour Purple here