Ha! That'll Lure Them In
Because the hapless passing viewers will think it has something to do with "Quantumania", which it hasn't, it's just Conrad cashing-in on Hollywood publicity and promotion the way those 'Mock-Busters' that come out of Asylum do. For example, let me prod Art into sentience with the Pro 2500 -
You can guess which film's publicity they're leeching off, can't you?
ANYWAY that, of course - obviously! - is nothing to do with tonight's Intro, wh
O I say! The dark rainclouds have rolled away and we are now blessed with blue skies and fluffy white clouds. Cue up Beethoven's Fifth! Art?
Is it just me or does that bell and supporting stanchions resemble the old schematic model for a virus? Art!
ANYWAY tonight's Intro has to do with a subject we illustrated in the afternoon's BOOJUM! blog, one which makes Your Humble Scribe, an avowed coward of the worst kind, feel faint just thinking about. To what am I referring? Well, in this case a picture really does tell a thousand words, which sadly doesn't contribute to our Adjusted Compositional Word Count. Art!
That's the broad overview, and as I mentioned earlier, you can tell how high this bloke is thanks to the trees below looking like a field of moss. Art!
Take a good look. Yes, this bloke is climbing El Capitan WITHOUT ANY CLIMBING EQUIPMENT. No helmet, no gloves, no boots, no ropes, no crampons, no chalk, no hammers or pickaxes. Hence the "-mania" part of tonight's title.
Is it Photoshopped? I doubt it, there are people who are brave enough, or foolish enough, or brave AND foolish enough, to attempt a rock climb like this. Pretty obviously they cannot be newbies. As I understand it, rock formations like this one are graded in terms of difficulty and EC has many routes for ascent, ranging from the route dubbed "The Nose", which is a '31 pitch' route. Meaning that you need to climb it in 31 stages. Art!
Being Nosy
It's rated at 5.9 C2 if you climb it the traditional way, with all the equipment, and at 5.14a (8+) if you're a member of the Suicide Club.
Whilst it is possible to climb EC in a day, only very experienced free climbers can manage it in that time, because of course - obviously! - they don't bother with all that nonsense about ropes and pitons and silly safety frippery like that. Those doing it with all the kit can take up to six days to manage the ascent, which means you have to invest in a terrifying device I'd not heard of until this afternoon: a Portaledge. Art!
As you can plainly see, this is a portable shelf that one affixes to the rock face in order to bed down overnight, presumably tethered in to avoid
If you happen to have more than basic rock-climbing skills, and $6,000 to spare, you may wish to have the official Yosemite National Park Guides take you on a 6-day ascent. Frankly, Conrad would pay $6,000 NOT to have to climb this hill, thank you very much.
And, yes, it is dangerous. Thirty people have died at El Capitan, because gravity is a harsh mistress. I dunno, this will probably bring in even more people "Because of the challenge". Art!
The view from atop
'On The Edge'
How very appropriate! This, lest ye be unaware, is a picture from the BBC's challenge to photographers across the globe, on the theme of this item's title. Art!
Courtesy Janet McIntosh
This is taken at Eagle Bluffs, on Cypress Mountain, in Vancouver, British America, where they are looking down on the clouds, and we can see two edges in the picture. The two people in the picture appear to be having fun, but they now have to get down the mountain.
"The Sea Of Sand"
Quite a contrast to the picture above, as this tak ANYWAY the Doctor, on the bio-vore's homeworld, is successfully directing a revolution, whilst trying to minimise the death toll.
The Doctor surveyed the vista
before him.
The
huge trans-mat complex, previously held in force by Warriors and others of
Homeworld’s elite, now lay in the hands of the Farmers. He regretted the fact that several hundred
defenders had to die, killed defending a complex and a social system that was
on it’s way out. If only, if only –
A
group of Farmers dragged a sodden, partly-stunned bio-vore from the recesses of
a first floor science room. Those
escorts flanking the Doctor, amongst others, hissed in recognition, grinning.
No,
realised the Doctor, not grinning,
actually baring teeth in a ritual threat.
That prisoner, whoever he was, would be dead in seconds.
‘Stop!’
he boomed, recalling his music hall training.
The group, and their struggling prisoner, stopped, waiting for his next
speech.
‘Enough
killing has taken place here today. We
must send these survivors to other lord’s lands, across the archipelago, across
the sea and across the continent.’
If
the Doctor had ordered the Farmers present to sit upside down on the floor and hum “Rule Britannia”, he would
have been obeyed, so high was his stock.
The
drenched prisoner, divested of equipment, was brought before the Doctor, making
a pathetic spectacle.
‘Hello!
So pleased to meet you! I’m The Doctor,
formally known to your fellows as “Thedoctor”.’
Note that bio-vore's rank is reflected in their name length. The shorter the name, the more important you are.
Railway Paraphernalia
Not that Your Humble Scribe travels by train all that often, but the Metro Tram into Gomorrah-on-the-Irwell uses train tracks, and Conrad, who is as nosy as the day is long, always wonders what all the bits and pieces alongside the tracks are. Next time I tram-travel I ought to take pictures.
However, I did discover what one particular mystery item is. Art!
As you can see from the second picture, these mysterious concrete boxes house cables that are required for signalling and information purposes, and have to fit certain parameters in terms of robustness, as well as being burglar-proof. This is because, traditionally, railway cabling used copper wiring, which is like a magnet for thieves, who would go to considerable lengths to steal it - including using cars or trucks to drag out cable boxes buried underground.
The modern version uses fibre-optic cables, which have nil cash value, and are thus less vulnerable to Light-Fingered Lenny.
That answers the question as to what the concrete boxes are; which still leaves oodles of mysterious kit to be explained away, quite apart from RAILWAY SIGNAGE! which we will be coming back to, O yes indeedy Ally Sheedy.
Concrete Laminate Reinforced Cable Ducting*
A Hot Time In Crimea
You may not be aware, but the Crimea - 'Krim' in Ruffian and Ukrainian languages - was long a sought-after holiday destination in the Sinister Union days, as well as Ruffian days of more recent date, thanks to it's Mediterranean climate, beaches and ancient historical narrative (that the Ruffians liked to hijack). Peter The Average brought in lots of Ruffians after he attacked and occupied it in 2014, in order to dilute the Ukrainian and Tatar population.
Fast forward to 2022, and the Ukes provide the Ruffian tourists with proof that this isn't a holiday destination, it's an occupied warzone. Art!
"How To Create An Instant Exodus"
Well, the Ukes managed it again. They somehow hit a whacking big set of oil tanks near Sevastopol and blew the ever-loving Dog Buns out of them. The strike came shortly before sunrise so the plumes of smoke have been present all day, once again underlining that Krim is an occupied warzone. Art!
"It's all going according to plan! It's all going according to plan!"
This plume can probably be seen across the whole peninsula. I wonder what spin Ruffian television will put on it? "Giant festive bonfire, honestly!"
* Or Ally Sheedy. One of the two.
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