(You Have To Say It Out Loud) Mister Trump
Make sure nobody's around, however; talking to yourself in public, especially on the bus, makes other people nervous and all the more so if there's laughter involved.
So! We return to DJ Tango Trump and his many and various malfeasances in the world of business. Just to bring you up to speed, he'd already racked up four bankruptcies in the previous Intro and personally lost millions, running up $3 billion in debt thanks to his casinos - it takes a person of truly remarkable abilities to go bankrupt running a casino. Art!
More remarkable than this, even
Trump Golden Ale This was a beer supposed to be supplied exclusively to Trump Tower in Chicago, brewed by a Latino brewer who had a Latino staff, and would have been a real money-spinner with long term prospects. However, DJ Trump had started on his campaign trail and one of his first speeches was to vilify Mexicans, because they are criminals, junkies and rapists, or all three at once.
The brewery sent staff to take back 50 kegs of their beer from Trump Tower. It was then re-branded as 'Chinga Tu Pelo', which is fearfully rude in Spanish so I shan't translate it. Art!
Trump University This was an outright scam by DJ
Go Trump was - note the use of the past tense here - a travel website created to cash in on the very lucrative travel industry via the internet. It launched in 2006 and was shuttered by 2007, despite being plugged by DJ
CAUTION! Binging on MacDonalds is not good for you
Trump Mortgage Another business that we talk about in the past tense. It was launched with great fanfare in April 2006, with projected turnover of $3 billion per annum. This was quickly downgraded to $1 billion. Then it turned out the CEO had lied extensively about his business background. The company shuttered in August 2007. Ooops. DJ Sepia Trump later claimed that he had nothing to do with the company, he'd only lent it his name for the public cachet. I bet he was crossing his fingers whilst saying that. Art!
"It's behind you!"
Trump Magazine Of course - obviously! How could DJ Hesperidium Trump possibly resist the lure of a magazine named after himself? Well, he couldn't. The thing is, his appeal seems to have been considerably less in 2009 than it was in 2016 (when he lost the popular vote but still got elected, do keep up!), because the MAGAzine* went under after three years with $7 million in debt. Art!
Hmmmm they seem to define 'Antarctica' differently than I do.
As before today, there is a whole lot of other stuff that I could include here but won't, as you can very definitely have too much of a bad thing.
Motley! Break out a pack of cards, for I wish to play Bridge. You know, that game with 'no tr
Conrad is SEETHING!
Just in case you were wondering. We've not included any Codeword conniptions for a while, so I think it's about time we resorted to invective and the Remote Nuclear Detonator.
"DIKTAT": There are two definitions in my Collins Concise, the second of which seems appropriate here: "A dogmatic statement"and I bet you want me to define 'Dogmatic', too. O very well: "Forcibly asserted as if authoritative and unchallengeable." Art!
Darling Daughter got one as a Christmas present. The batteries were rapidly lost.
"AEGIS": To the modern reader, this is a variety of South Canadian Ballistic Missile Defence system. Art!
CAUTION! Exhaust fumes not very good for you
In Classical literature it means 'Sponsorship or protection', derived from Greek mythology as this is the name of Zeus' shield (Aigis in Greek). BUT STILL! to have it as a Codeword solution strains Your Humble Scribe's patience to the limits.
"MELEE": Conrad is actually more familiar with this word than you are, as it frequently turns up in wargames rules, where you have close-quarter combat rather than longer-ranged stuff involving machine guns or mangonels. It comes from the French 'Meler', meaning 'To mix', which is exactly what you get when fighting it out with knives and cudgels in a trench, from the 13th century up to the 20th. Art!
Note lack of pack or excess equipment, the better to battle
Domestic Distribution
As any reader of duration will know, Conrad has him many a hundred books secured away in his Sekrit Layr, including a massive pile that had to be accommodated when their bookcase fell apart. A confounding factor was that these were all large-format books, none of your easily-accommodated paperbacks.
So, since it is Spring, I have shifted them around as an expedient measure. Art!
And here we have what used to be the roosting place for many hundreds of book. Good to know I can hoover it now.
"The Sea Of Sand"
The Doctor is about to confront his erstwhile allies on Wastelandworld, and he has quite a lot to say to them, yes indeedy Ally Sheedy.
Thedoctor seemed to turn purple
with suppressed rage, which burst forth in a long diatribe. Imgelissa listened, spellbound, as did the
entire audience. They underwent a
conversion, then, convinced that Thedoctor was not merely a prophet but a
visionary.
‘Medicine!’
he roared, with a volume and vigour not utilised since appearing at the
Trocadero in 1896. ‘Surgery! I am living proof that the “temporarily
living” can be brought back to full health.
On many occasions in the past I have been injured, or rendered sick with
an illness. Did my fellow s kill
me? No!
No, they used medicine, or surgery, or both to help me find my way back
to full health.’
The
Farmers looked at each other, wondering at this new concept of society. Medicine?
Surgery?
‘Keeping
your fellow alive is all very well,’ commented a Farmer. ‘We don’t have sufficient algae or other
bio-morphic resources to sustain our tempor – the “injured”.’
Normally
a quiet round of whispered assent would have greeted this statement. Today, dead silence held sway until Thedoctor
spoke again.
‘Not
yet. Not yet, you don’t. I can help to provide you with plants adapted
for desert terrain, and embryonic fauna to populate your environment. Well, I can if I can get my TARDIS back.’
Once
again a whisper of discussion went around the listeners.
Another paradigm shift has been made! This is why you don't want the Doctor interfering in your dystopian dictatorship; he tends to break them.
Baton Rogue
NO! Not 'Baton Rouge', which is a South Canadian township, which, if Art will put down his bowl of coal -
"Stick Red"
No, I refer to an answer that an ex-policeman gave on Quora about how British policemen dealt with recalcitrant offenders, given that our police lack firearms. Step One was dealing with things verbally to de-escalate the situation, i.e. 'Go home and sleep it off you stupid boy!' Art!
World Champion at using that phrase
Step Two was showing up with enough muscle to persuade The Recalcitrant that it really wasn't worth carrying on being a plonker.
Step Three was a resort to something called 'PARVA Spray', which sounds like bear spray except nastier.
Step Four - allow me to quote Mr. Tony Bartlett himself: "The next level is a baton strike.. The body is divided into green Amber and red zones. Green major muscle groups. Amber main joints. Red possible lethal points ie spine and head." Art!
So, given these vulnerable zones around the human body, the last thing you do is go baton rogue, for then you may be up for manslaughter or murder.
Step Five would be Tommy Tazer, after which -
Step Six is a police firearms unit, at which the story ends.
Chin chin!
* Sorry, couldn't resist.
No comments:
Post a Comment