Because That Way I Can Use One I Made Earlier
That Conrad for you, upcycling his Quora responses. Okay, Art!
The lands of the Norks and Sorks. Bear in mind that they are still technically at war, because no peace treaty between them has ever been signed.
A Quoran asked what would happen if the Norks used nukes against the South, so Conrad, Armchair General par excellence, rose to the occasion.
If North Korea uses nuclear weapons against South Korea then they are done like an overcooked steak.
The prevailing winds across the Korean peninsular blow from the south, so the
Norks would get all that lovely long-term fallout, which might well carry into
China. To say the Chinese would be ticked-off at this is a mild understatement.
The US would likely respond with one of their cruise-missile subs that carry
144 missiles, and a certain number would be nuclear-tipped. You can bet that The Only Fat Man In North Korea would be hiding in an underground bunker, which would probably be cross-targeted by two or three nuclear Tomahawks. Art!
One bucket of instant sunshine on it's way
If things don’t escalate to nuclear weapons and instead there is a ground
invasion of South Korea by the Norks, then they have fuel for two weeks. And that same South Canadian submarine will still be firing off it's cruise missiles, just without any nuclear warheads. The
Nork army, five minutes after invading, would realise that their government had
lied to them all their lives about how Norkland was Paradise On Earth. It is
highly likely their advance would stall completely as troops used to starvation
rations stopped to eat and drink themselves into a stupor*. Art!"
Spot the Nork orc
Nork soldiers are noticeably smaller than their Sork brothers, thanks to chronic malnourishment, which means they cannot physically match their enemies and would suffer badly in a high-intensity conflict. They are also infested with internal parasites and highly-contagious diseases.
The average NK conscript spends their time doing unskilled manual labour, such as harvesting crops, because Hey! cheap labour for the government. Their ‘elite commandoes’ sent to Syria performed abysmally and killed more of each other than Syrian rebels, not to mention passing on jaundice and hepatitis. The Nork army hasn't fought for seventy years at this point. Those impressive parades? Carried out by show troops who do nothing but rehearse for parades (the Ruffians do this, too). Art!
Dig! Dig for the Glorious People's Victory Potato!
The South Korean army deploys weapons and weapons systems that are at least
50 years ahead of the Nork’s kit. SK Black Panther vs. NK T-55? The US troops
on the peninsula are similarly equipped. Abrams/Bradley vs. NK T-55? Art!
Inside a Black Panther Inside a T-55
Plus the
USAF would be getting involved from all it’s bases across the Pacific. It's just over five hours flight time from Guam to Seoul, as an example, so the Big Ugly Fat Fellas would be bombing the Norks within six hours, after the Norks anti-aircraft systems were suppressed and/or destroyed by HARMs. Art!
Say hello to my little BUFF
The Nork's ace in the hole used to be their hundreds and hundreds of artillery pieces dug into the reverse slopes of hills and mountains, lots of them within range of Seoul. This is a tactic straight out of the Viet Minh's playbook. However, there is a one-word answer to them: drones. I can guarantee that Global Hawks and Reapers have spotted every last gun site, probably duplicated by the Sorks, too. If things kick off then thousands of kamikaze drones, bombing drones, HIMARS and JDAM-ERs will fall from the skies upon said gun sites. Which will become a sight. Art!
 |
| Joint Direct Attack Munition Extended Range |
North Korea doesn’t have an official state animal as a mascot, so I nominate the jackal. That makes their army a paper jackal.
There you go. Enhanced from the version I put up on Quora. To sum up, the Norks have at best two weeks before they become immobilised, and will be hit from the seas and skies from the minute they cross the Demarcation Line.
One factor I've ignored completely is what China would do, because that's a whole Intro all to itself. We may come back to this.
Sticking With The Korean Theme -
I did warn you yesteryon that I'd made Kim Chee and would post photographic evidence of same. Art!
This lot took up a whole large mixing bowl before being crammed into the jar. As you can see, it's settled a bit, all the more so as I added a bit of water to make sure the spices got properly allotted. It turned out that we didn't have any Fish Sauce, so I used prawns instead. Later today I intend to make pickled mushrooms!
Go me.
The Pedantic Hair-Splitter Strikes again
Yes, we are back on the subject of "Tora! Tora! Tora!" again, because you don't get away that easily. Let us show another rather dangerous scene. Art!
Ooops! This is a few minutes later. Continuity person, you're fired! Editor? You too! I checked on IMDB and nobody else has noticed this flub, which makes Conrad all the more proud.
"The Sea Of Sand"
The Doctor is in big trouble, about to be Eviscerated by the arrogant aristocrat Lord Url, bound to a pillar with strands of unbreakable glass wire.
For a split-second the massive
object teetered on the very lip of the semi-circular arena, before tipping
forward and smashing downwards, accelerating.
Carefully,
wanting to avoid getting his hands cut off, the Doctor shuffled around the
pillar to face away from the oncoming metal juggernaut. He heard the shuffles and shrieks of
bio-vores moving out of the way, and the last gasp of Url, too late and too
slow to avoid being crushed to death, all under the muted thunder and grating
of the Element Sieve, which struck his pillar like an earthquake.
The
pillar broke at the base, falling backwards into the gaping scoop of the
Element Sieve, where it stuck like a matchstick in a mouth. The Doctor desperately and frantically
struggled to retain his balance, bracing his thighs and feet against the
pillar, as the massive metal scoop skidded across the floor, sending out sparks
in all directions. The pillar rolled
left and right, the binding wire cruelly cutting into the Doctors wrists
With
a tremendous hollow clang, the Element Sieve hit the far side of the
amphitheatre, pitching the pillar forward again. The Doctor fell to the side of the stone
column, hearing a series of brittle cracks, surmounted by a rapid series of
high-pitched twanging sounds, reminiscent of a sped-up banjo.
Experimentally
, he flexed his fingers. Still
working! Tugging very gently, he found
no resistance from the hitherto restricting glass bonds.
Phew. In the nick of time!
Finally -
We all know Conrad, eyes bigger than stomach. I picked up the pack of Jelly Babies I bought on Thursday and looked at the list of ingredients, expecting to see 'Isomalt' in there. Nope. Art!
"Sugar"? I puzzled. "But surely these are -" Art!
O. Not sugar-free.
* This happened to the Teutons in their Kaiserschlacht offensive in 1918.
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