No, This Is Nothing To Do With "Bedknobs And Broomsticks"
Which a much smaller iteration of Conrad saw at the pictures. Two things stuck in my mind: the mixed live-animation football match, and an animated suit of armour being repeatedly shot in the chest, with the helmet visor flipping open each time to eject the impacting round. How we laughed! Art?
Hmmmmm all that animated armour looks a lot more sinister in retrospect. Okay, this is not about a sequel to BAB - which is grossly inaccurate in having the Teutons actually invade This Sceptred Isle since <Mister Hand redacts a 5,000 word screed about Operation Sealion>. One can imagine the Hollywood Suits clucking in awe at how brilliant their idea of a sequel is, since it requires less thought than writing out a weekly shopping list. "Attack Of The Flying Bedsteads"
Art! Don't contradict me!
Yes, technically this is a flying BED, because a 'Bedstead' is the framework for a bed, upon which you place a valance, a mattress, sheets and pillows wi
ANYWAY that is not what I wanted to talk about. Art!
First flight 1954
This, ladies and gentlemen and those uncertain, is an experimental airframe (all us pseuds use this word as it's more pretentious than 'aircraft') nicknamed "The Flying Bedstead" due to it's skeletal appearance. It's Sunday name was "Rolls-Royce Thrust Measuring Rig" and it was built in order to test the feasibility of Vertical Takeoff And Landing, abbreviated to VTOL.
As you can see, the engineers who designed and constructed it felt that wings of any sort were so passe, thus it hasn't got any. Instead vertical lift was powered by two jet engines, which directed their output downwards and lifted it by main power, no aerodynamic component required. Yhose long pipes with a ninety-degree bend at the end are the stabilisers that kept it level and avoided problems like pitch or yaw. Art!
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| TMR with puny humans for scale |
You may be wondering what this lumbering great crate was all about.
Meet it's grandchildren. Art!
This is the Hawker Harrier, an airframe capable of VTOL, STOL or conventional take-off. It was untouchable in air-to-air combat because RAF and FAA pilots used to rotate their engine nozzles downwards when in flight. Pursuing enemy aircraft suddenly found themselves being pursued.
There's more to this, which we shall attend to at a later date.
A Bit Of Youtube Punnery
One of the Youtube vloggers that Conrad has subscribed to is Suchomimus. Before February 24th his content was about dinosaur fossils. Art!
CAUTION! Giant carnivores make poor domestic pets
Not sure why the HSE requires that warning, you can't exactly pop down to Pets 'R' Us and buy a Suchomimus.
He was commenting on the Youtube algorithms being a bit wonky at times. His uploads are scrupulously SFW, by the way. However, YT jibbed at his including a vlog entry with the name "Kirpi" included and only allowed posting when the word was removed.
Could this be an offensive word in a foreign language? wondered Conrad. Finnish for "Corpse"? This needs to be tested!
Well no. There is a "Kirpi" in Finnish, except that it means "Flea". Art!
Clearly the writer had a few G & Ts at lunchtime
Of course Conrad couldn't leave it there, so I Commented that "Ukrainians Advance, Russians Flea" was simply unacceptable <drum roll cymbal crash>.
"The Sea Of Sand"
When we left them last, the Doctor was trying to get Albert to screw his courage to the sticking place and all that.
"Albert!" said the Doctor, low-pitched yet affectingly. You and the Professor need to return there, and inform whoever holds sway that they will need to contend with these bio-vores in the very near future. And ensure that Sarah Jane Smith is hale and hearty."
At least, he reassured himself, she only faced human foes at present.
Albert drew in a stale, sweaty, clammy lungful of air and asked another question.
"What - what will you do, Doctor?"
The answer, initially, seemed impossible.
"Do, Albert? Do? Why, I shall travel to the homeworld of these bio-vores. After all, we need primary data!"
After all, he did need to confirm his theory, if possible. More than that, he must try to negotiate a truce of sorts, if possible. Conflict being hateful to him, he needed to prevent it. If possible!
"You might want to take this as proof," added the Time Lord, passing over a piece of the alien databank he'd removed, just in case. Albert fumbled in the darkness for a second before grabbing the smooth, rugby-ball shaped object.
"How will you get there? And back!" asked Albert. The Doctor tapped the side of his nose before realising the gesture was invisible.
"By flying! Now, no more chatter. The next patrol might find this hide. You make your way out first."
You can't say the Doctor thinks small.
"The Singing Sands" By Josephine Tey
Conrad didn't need to make notes about these words, because he's an expert in them already. They do date the novel to post-Second Unpleasantness. What am I blathering on about? Okay, Inspector Grant is looking out at the immensity of the Atlantic Ocean from the Hebridean island of Cladda, and feels a sense of agoraphilia he'd not felt since North Africa. In conversation with the Reverend MacKay he finds out the cleric had been in North Africa, too, and Mr. MacKay mentions ' - between Alamein and Tripoli' and with 'the Jocks'.
He is talking about the Second Unpleasantness, fought for years over the North African coast and plains, from the turning point at the battle of El Alamein to the conquest of Fascist Italy's premier Libyan port, Tripoli. "The Jocks" refers to the 52nd Highland Division. Art!
You are now better informed and forewarned. And you're welcome.
The Biter Bit
Conrad came across an hilarious Youtube Reddit digest with the leading question "How can you be so incompetent?" which had a litany of stupid people doing stupid things. One anecdote stood out.
It concerned Joe, who was, to put it mildly, an idiot. Joe came into work one morning and admitted to having temporarily lost his eyesight over the weekened when abusing an unfiltered telescope. No, he didn't point it at the Sun or it would have been permanent. He came into work with his leg in a cast, explaining that he'd stamped on a newspaper on the pavement (sidewalk for our South Canadian friends). The newspaper had been concealing a deep hole lined with 'rebar' or what would be rusty steel reinforcing bars. Ouch. Pride of place goes to him holding a piece of pipe in his hands so that another idiot could cut it.
Joe lost a finger.
The kicker to all this was that he was the workplace OSHA representative. Art!
The OP said that Joe had recently carried out another stupidly dangerous act and he'd get back with an update. The vlog is two days old so we may have to wait. I dread that the first words will be "Joe was -" past tense.
Finally -
Off to get lunch and have a look at what's needed for the weekly shop. Chin chin!
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