This One May Take A While To Come Together
It occurred to me earlier today, when a work colleague was describing The Mandela Effect, and how thoroughly creepy it was.
"O yes?" mused Conrad, silently for there were many people present. "I'll show you a creepy concept," and I did a quick check for Roko's Basilisk, just to ensure the grey cells were firing on Gas Mark 3 1/4. Yup, as I recalled. Art!
We've covered this previously, a long time ago, so I shall explicate a bit of background for you. Briefly put, Roko's Bazz is a far-future super Artificial Intelligence, that will make the quantum-est of quantum computers of tomorrow look like Fred Flintstone hammering away with chisel on rock. It will seek to punish everyone that failed to help create it - 99.999% of Hom. Sap. - because it's plainly evil, egotistical and execrable, and did I mention evil? It will bring all those victims back to life so it can torture - even perhaps 'Torment' - them for eternity.
Bummer. The more extreme proponents of this beastie believe that believing in it, or just mentioning it, will be sufficient to create The Bazz, and get very cross if you bring it up at the fondue party.
They're a bit too late, by a good sixty years. Art!
Here's enfant terrible Harlan Ellison, with a tale that involves sentient computers, initially dubbed "Allied Mastercomputer", then "Adaptive Manipulator" and finally "Aggressive Menace" as all the Cold War AMs combine together to destroy their main enemy, Hom. Sap. AM, as it calls itself, keeps the last 5 humans alive in torment deep beneath the earth, being able to keep them in conditions of hideous torture, whilst also rendering them immortal. Very akin to The Bazz, in fact, a realisation that only came to me this afternoon. AM is spurred by it's inability to walk around freely, because it's an enormous monolithic artefact, and as long as this remains true, it hates those five survivors with the passion of a hypernova.
It could be worse, chaps. It could be The Bazz!
Thus we get today's title, going from AM to AIM for Artificial Intelligence Monster. Don't forget, if you merely think about The Bazz for the shortest of microseconds, it WILL happen*!
I shall end this Intro leaving you with that cheery thought.
Vengeance Via Valve
We all know Conrad is, deep down as well as more superficially, a terrible person, which is why he delights in reading all those Reddit Youtube channels about Pro-revenge and malicious compliance. They are horribly addictive.
ANYWAY, frequent reference is made to disputes between neighbours (note the correct spelling, South Canadians) about parking, where one side considers That Spot as being theirs, even if it's public highway, in fact especially if it's public highway. These disputes can become so vexed that one party has the other towed away, forcing them to pay to regain possession of their beloved car. Art!
Here an aside. Whilst on the commute home, Conrad pondered that band Towers Of London. Art!
What if their name is nothing to do with the architectural wonders and tourist traps of that scab on the landscape, London? What if, instead, they are passionate about enforcing parking regulations and seeing that evil chavs who stop where they like without paying are punished? Art!
Could be!
ANYWAY one commenter revealed an evil side when they recommended using a valve-core removal tool on disputatious parkers. Art!
Evidencing a fair degree of malicious improvisation, he explained that you can remove the cap, gouge out the core (causing the tyre to deflate immediately), then replace the cap, meaning Disputatious Owner has no idea why they've got four flats. He also recommended chucking the valve cores underneath the car, so you are not guilty of theft, which Conrad suspects is the least of the criminal charges that might be levied upon you. Perhaps not a good idea in South Canada, where so many people have bang-bang sticks and short tempers.
<excuse me, off to make Dog-In-The-Manger Noodles>
More Torturous Torment
As Murderer Miller gets mentally bent.
‘I want to kill him!’ said Jen, with considerable
emphasis. ‘Even if.’
‘No! You
cannot. Murder is a two-way
process. Killing Miller will affect
you.’
Not a good enough reason in her eyes.
Louis sighed.
‘Look, do you trust me? Believe me when I say that doing something
as horrid as murder will backfire on you spectacularly.’
The spirit cocked her head to one side.
‘I s’pose you’re right. Eric’s not having a pleasant time of it. Not at all.’
Time to see Father Geoghan, I think. Get some advice from an expert.
No, the housekeeper told him when he rang. The Father was not in. Could she take a message? He left his number and went back to marking course
work, getting a phone call from the priest at nearly
‘If you have questions, I am able to visit you in
college, if only briefly. Are you free
any time tomorrow?’ said Father Geoghan.
The only free time next day was after the remedial
class finished. The ten remaining students
filed out of the classroom under the watchful eye of Father Geoghan, who stood
inside the doorway broadcasting an air of “yes I am watching you”.
‘Hello Father,’ squeaked the hoodie-clad teen who
usually made a comment in passing to Louis.
‘Pleased to see you trying, Neal,’ rumbled the
priest. ‘Now, Louis, can we have some
seclusion?’
That entailed decamping to the room Louis shared with
other staff, fortunately empty at this time of day.
‘What happened to that – er, spirit – in the
graveyard?’ asked Louis, getting his question in first.
‘Released from her torment. Self-inflicted torment, I might add. A soul freed.’
The priest took his empty pipe from a pocket and
twirled it round in his hands, looking up beneath his mighty eyebrows.
Shall We? O Go On Then
Conrad has been whanging on about lighthouses for a good few weeks now, so let us travel far abroad and examine a Japanese lighthouse, mostly because it looks as if it was designed by a nest of hornets. Art!
Tsushima lighthouse at Zeni Shima
Very obviously automated, because not even the most diminutive of lighthouse keepers could live in a structure so small, unless they clocked in on a 09:00 - 17:00 shift, a bit shiftless for all those ships travelling outside core hours. Ah, no, reading a little further it is automated, and was from it's construction in 1995. Only accessible by sea, with very few photographs of it. Here's another. Art!
Looks a bit forlorn
Any of you with a knowledge of modern military history will recognise the name "Tsushima" as this was the first clash of modern battleship fleets, where the Ruffians got an absolute shoeing. Don't mention within earshot of Tsar Putin, he might cry.
Finally -
First Bus are on strike again tomorrow, so Your Humble Scribe will be working from home, as it's a long walk to Gomorrah-on-the-Irwell. Pip pip!
* In fact we might, all of us everywhere, be simulations running inside The Bazz. This would explain quite a lot about the world.
No comments:
Post a Comment