For Lo! We Are Back To "2001"
Yes, AGAIN AGAIN. If you are unhappy with this THEN THE EXIT DOOR IS THAT WAY.
Conrad possesses a particularly pleasing book about the making of the film, "2001 Filming The Future" by Piers Bizony, which has lots of inside details about how and why it got made, including a lot of cool production design illustrations, as below. Art!
This is the Pan American "Space Clipper", a variety of spaceplane. It darts around in space to the strains of "The Blue Danube" before docking with the space station (you can see an early iteration of same at top). Once again Conrad is going to use that Snip function. Art!
How did they manage that? The pen floats about freely, however it must be on wires, yet I can't see any even when peering at the screen from an inch away. I may have to re-read 2FTF to see if they explain it away in there. Art!
This shot shows the balletic approach of the spaceplane, which led Conrad to ask another question nobody else has: how does this craft launch? We know it must be from ground-level on Earth because of the wings and general aerodynamic design. If launched vertically then it would need a special vertical assembly structure to hold it in place; but if so then how would it land?
If it took off like a conventional plane, then where is the undercarriage? - because those wings are far too narrow to house anything able to support it. Yes, the undercarriage and wheels may be accommodated beneath the fuselage, which will have to remain a supposition as we never get a view of it's underside.
O - allow me to show what attention to detail was observed here in the docking sequence. Art!
The same instrument panel under different illumination as the Space Clipper gets closer to the space station and reflected light becomes an issue.
The rear portion of the clipper is a jettisonable booster, which would have been used to loft it into orbit. No such assist is required to descend into a gravity well, so one presumes it would have been separated when the clipper reached a relatively low level, slowed by a retardant parachute. Why low level? Because then it won't fall on the head of a hapless passerby and inflict a concussion.
ANYWAY none of that has anything to do with today's title. You should recall that, yesteryon, I was yarking on about the (implied) weapons systems featured shortly before we see the spaceplane, and boldly declared that the very first one we see is a kind of orbiting headquarters.
WRONG! Art?
That's me told, then.
Motley, it's time to play Bombe Surprise - I'll be the Bomber and you'll most definitely get a surprise.
O! I say - let me check and see what Picture options I have to load from -
<sigh> you may remember me going on about the high school hackers of Corona Del Mar, a news story I tracked down from a Reddit thread on Youtube, yet which I could not find a photo to back up with?
I turns out I never uploaded the screenshot to my laptop. A very senior moment. Art!
I wasn't even looking under the correct title for the Youtube post, so heaven knows if I'd ever have found it, if I hadn't been doing a little picture admin on my phone. "Spoiled Kids Getting Owned", hmmm, "What Was The 'Incident' At Your School" was on the right lines.
Conrad: a day late and 60p short.
BOOJUM! Reviews Films
In our own inimitable style, not that Mark Kermode would ever be tempted to imitate it. Should you feel the aching desire for a real film review, go see his. Meanwhile, allow me to clarify how we review films: 1) we go off the title 2) we make huge assumptions and 3) we reserve the right to abruptly change any or all of this at a moment's notice. I only like doing these in threes and it's taken at least a week to discover three new cinema bus posters. Let the roasting begin!
"Free Guy": A wildly ambiguous title, methinks. In the future there will be a super drug of choice, and you won't have to pay for it? Or, Madonna's ex is in prison on trumped-up charges, let's sort out a campaign to free him? Documentary on Paul Kossoff? South Canadian dramatic take on Today's Man?
"Right, we've hired The Stathe to break Neil out of Wormwood Scrubs ...*"
"Jungle Cruise": Okay, taking a riverine journey upstream, into triple-canopy foliage - what, is this a re-telling of "Apocalypse Now"? No no don't tell me, it's a comedy action thriller with lovable The Rock playing a zany eccentric skipper who romances and charms stuffy upright Emily Blunt, the end.
"Emily had really buffed-up for her role."
"The Suicide Squad": Conrad was a little confused until he read a precis in "Empire" that explains this is a sequel of sorts to that film back in 2016. Lots of new faces, obviously, because being a member of the SS means a rather slim chance of appearing in any sequels. The idea of using criminal scum to do outrageously dangerous work certainly has appeal, and indeed provides a reason why Gotham doesn't simply 'vanish' supervillains when apprehended.
Food for thought
Thus we move from Marvel and film to IPC and comics, which means this review is at an end. You may weep if you wish.
Conrad Is Thirsty!
I have the choice of a pint of flat beer, which is not an option as no alcohol consumption on a school night, or getting up off my idle behind and going downstairs for some water. It's too late for another pot of tea, as it has strange effects on my getting to sleep (or not). Nor do I want to use up my tonic water, as there were only a few bottles left on the shelves tonight when I did the weekly shop; clearly those logistics problems are having an impact if Conrad cannot have freshly-diced lemon and lime with his tonic water. Note no mention of gin - horrid stuff!
* Heck, I'd pay to see this as a film!
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