Dora The Sore-r

It's Not A Brilliant Title

But it's not as if you have to pay to read this scrivel, is it?  Although a Comment or two wouldn't go amiss, as long as they're not in Punjabi or Sanskrit.

     For Lo! tonight we return to the subject of "Have His Carcase", as mentioned yesteryon, a novel which I finished today.  Do forgive an old man his foibles, once you hit middle age your Murder Mystery genes get activated and you pick up Lord Peter Wimsey novels or watch "Poirot".  Art!

Lord P. and Harri, consulting

     Yesteryon we were dealing with Dot's description of Ruffians in their Sinister-era heyday, as being all emotional and prone to suicide.

     Here an aside.  Of late, there has been a sporting event known as "The Olympics", where athletes from across the globe compete in arcane disciplines most of us have never heard of nor missed, you may have seen a glimpse or two on television.  Anyway, guess who didn't win the "rhythmic gymastics" gold badge for the first time in 25 years?  And guess who did?  Answer One: the Ruffians.  Answer Two: the South Canadians.  Immediately the Ruffians reacted true to type:  it's a conspiracy, it's not fair, they cheated, we should have won, we did win and they stole it with their rigged Dominion voting machines - all the maturity of a petty three-year old, reminiscent of another claim that I can't quite bring to mind ...

Dimya is angry!

     ANYWAY I did say I was going to deal with the 'girlfriend', Dora, and so we shall, except not how you were expecting it.  FOR SHE IS NOT A HUMAN BEING!  Nor is she a were-weasel or were-shark.  In fact her name is an acronym derived from "Defence Of the Realm Act".  This was wartime law-making by Perfidious Albion in 1914, ensuring that the country ran efficiently in the prosecution of war.  The trouble was, wartime democracy became rather undemocratic and DORA became an unloved act.  Lord Peter mentions it in passing without any explanation, because the novel was written in 1932 and it would still have been rankling in many a reader's mind.  Art!

But of course.  Whoever heard of a "Ministry of Munitions of Peace"?

     Note the "G.R." at the top, because when it was brought into being, King George was the reigning monarch.

     And now Dora is no more-r*.

Still Being Cool

You wouldn't think Your Humble Scribe could come up with yet more films with COOLING TOWERS! as part of the action, would you?  Well, I took it as a challenge and here we are.  I haven't seen the following film myself, mind, and it is supposed to be a bit rubbish.  However, it does have a climactic fight taking place ON TOP OF A COOLING TOWER! which sells it for me.  Art!

CAUTION!  Considerable property damage caused

     From this scene Conrad gathered that a severed head with laser-eyes can do just as much damage as when attached to a torso.  Who knew!  Of course, the hapless COOLING TOWER! gets completely trashed in this superhero duel.  Weep quietly, gentle reader.

Getting Stoned (Redux)

Yes, I thought that would catch your depraved disgustrous imaginations.  WASH YOUR FILTHY MINDS OUT!  WITH BLEACH!  thank you so much.

     For yesteryon, when I was whanging on about mining, I came across what might be considered a 'mine' but only in the broadest sense in reference to a military explosive device.  This was the 'fougasse' of Malta, and I came to it in a very roundabout way involving French hand-grenades of the First Unpleasantness, courtesy of Magic Fingers and his blog -

Nothing to do with Magic Fingers

     The Fougasse was a chamber excavated from bedrock, conical in shape, and angled, at the base of which was a keg of gunpowder.  A fuse was run down to this in a groove, and then half a ton of large rocks were placed inside, largest at the bottom.

     This was intended as an anti-shipping weapon, primarily to be used in defence against invading boats launched from ships offshore.  Art!

     These cheap and nasty projectiles were propelled with sufficient force to kill anyone they hit, and the larger rocks were big enough to sink boats.  There are claims that they were used against the French when they mounted an invasion in 1798, no claims about efficacy being made.  Go Google it yourselves if you're that curious about the matter.

     Today, excavated fougasses usually come with a barrier around them to prevent sheep and tourists from falling into them and breaking themselves.  Art!

     There you have it, perhaps only marginally a mine yet certainly mined, cheap to upkeep and load (even if it would take ages to reload once fired), and don't get me started on the 'Flame Fougasse' **...

Well Well Well Perfidious Albion's Gone To Hell

I have been re-reading some of my zombie magnum opus "Revelations", because once Your Humble Scribe finishes writing anything he very rarely returns to it.  This is also a test, and Yes! I can copy and paste from an old Word document.  Don't think last laptop had that facility.  Here's an extract from 'Year Two':

"Location Orange looked as careworn and shabby as Location Green, thanks to the endless rotation of units through the site, the expedient helipads, a temporary DPC on the grassland and Warriors and Challengers tearing up tarmac wherever they drove.  

     It had looked less spoilt two years ago when we arrived, bumbling into an emergency we barely grasped.  Most of the surrounding terraced housing had been flattened to provide clear fields of fire and prevent revs accumulating in embarrassingly large numbers.

     My vantage point was from the back of a Bedford truck, seeing the massive, reinforced blockhouse that now formed the entrance where once upon a time we’d used chainlink fencing and sandbags.  I remembered warning Ski about shooting watching civilians in the houses opposite, and how impressive a total of fifty revs arriving in a long column was.  Ah, happy days!"

     Yes, that is a sneaky way of upping the word-count, thanks for noticing.  I'd have to tickle it up a bit if I ever submitted it, as it was written long before Corona.  Not only that, two buildings featured prominently in the plot have since been demolished; not sure how I'd work that into the plot.

Finally -

There has been less seething rancour in these pages o'er the few days because I've been tackling the Codewords in the Oldham Times, which are considerably less-stress inducing than the versions in the M.E.N. <grits teeth as blood pressure rises>.  I shall probably kill you tomorrow - Ooops!  Sorry, that was "The Princess Bride", wasn't it?  I shall probably be back to my splenetic self tomorrow.  Another thing for you to look forward to!

Conrad being angry.  Or happy.  It's hard to distinguish either.

*  It was repealed in 1921

**  Perhaps tomorrow***.

***  Perhaps not (tee hee!)