It's A Real Thing
If Hollywood, whilst making a big film production, or even if producing a big film (for the two are not the same) and the script calls for a Villain, then the Casting Director goes straight to their rolodex of British Character Actors. What they want, you see, is an actor who can ACT, instead of being a pretty face able to read off a cue card. British actors will have come up through the theatre, and usually have a pedigree of several decades, and not all of them are good-looking - which is a good thing, as they don't detract from the chipper, fresh-faced, impeccably dentured good guy. You may remember my mention of RADA earlier this week, because having passed through that training regime has real cachet. Art!
"Hans took his fantasy about being able to fly a little too far."
One reason, Conrad suspects, that the South Canadians clamour for thespians from This Sceptred Isle as villains is because they don't want their charismatic South Canadian actors identified with a negative role. That's just not South Canadian! Art?
Jeremy proves my point.
Do you know, this Intro was only going to lightly brush upon this topic, but I'm having too much fun to get to the meat of the matter. Let us see - if your heroic male lead is a South Canadian playing an English aristocratic rebel, who can you POSSIBLY have as his villainous counterpart? Art!
"Alan, expressing fear at being typecast."
Yes, that's from "Robin Hood Prince Of Thieves" and Conrad has to say the stuff about Christmas is, of course - obviously! - anachronistic. Not the bit about being in his room at 12:45, because by this time period there were clocks on things like abbey towers. Just so you know.
ANYWAY what I wanted to actually talk about was an event "The Daily Beast" covered that Conrad had never heard of before. Bear with me on this, it does link in to the title, eventually.
Right, so the date is July 4th 1940, which as any fule no is in the early years of the Second Unpleasantness, by which point Perfidious Albion stands alone against the tyrannical Teutons, who are poised across the Channel, champing and slavering at the prospect of invasion. O'er the Pond, in South Canada, they are warily aware of the conflict in Europe, whilst being a lot more interested in the World's Fair that took place in New York. Art!
This was an enormous contemporary exhibition that embodied and exemplified the 'can-do' attitude of South Canadians. It's general theme was that of "The World Of Tomorrow" and it was, frankly, reaching with a tagline of "For Peace And Freedom" given the era. Let us have a schematic. Art! look lively now, the Tazer is back from being serviced.
Of course Perfidious Albion had their own venue, the British Pavilion, which doubtless showcased how the world has benefited from all the inventions and innovations generated from these shores. This included the original Magna Carta, sent out in 1939 and deemed too precious and delicate to return home during wartime, so the thoughtful South Canadians kept it safe in Fort Knox.
Back to July 4th 1940. On this day a wandering electrician discovered a bag in one of the upper utility rooms in the British pavilion. It not only looked out of place, it emitted a ticking sound.
Erk.
The police were called, and, in what would today be called 'risking death of Fair attendees' carried the ticking bag outside, past all the queuing spectators, into open ground. Two detectives were examining the bomb when it went off, killing both of them instantly. Art!
This is where things start to get very murky -
Which will have to wait until tomorrow. Until then!
Weird Films: "Rubber"
Yes, I realised that we've only covered the first two on that list which I compiled from The Flop House FB pages, and so we move to the third one. We began this series back in June, so you can be forgiven if you'd either forgotten about any more details being forthcoming, or just giving up. Conrad has no such excuse*. Art!
Conrad has never seen the film, and, based on the synopses I've read, I will not be making any appointments to do so. It seems to be aiming for satire - ha! do you see - O you do - and concerns a tyre called 'Robert' which suddenly becomes i) sentient ii) hostile and iii) able to kill with telekinesis. Yeah. Not stretching plausibility much, are we?
So, Robert goes on a killing spree, whilst being tracked - ha! do you see - O you do - by an especially dim-witted Sherriff, whom eventually 'kills' Robert by shotgun. Upon which Robert is reincarnated as a killer tricycle, setting off to storm humanity with his legions of tyre followers. Or something. Art!
Methinks they are pushing it somewhat
Conrad is not sure why they made this film, nor why anyone bothered to watch it, and there is a high probability it was done as a tax write-off or to launder Mob money. After all, what dramatic tension can arise from the below?
You What?!
I don't know why, but the following image came up whilst I was looking for any suitable pictures for "Rubber". I think it might have come up because people have been Googling for "Most Stupid Villain" or similar. Art!
Conrad can only say that the lady above needs to sue her orthodontist. And before you ask, yes, it is a real film.
Defeated
Conrad has been looking for the third strangely-named town he remembered being mentioned in "Para Handy Tales": Slishkin.
I must have mis-remembered the name, because it doesn't come up on a Google search. Nor is it present as a town on the coastline of Arran, or anywhere. This is dangerous territory, as it might call for the book to be purchased in order to be perused in a forensic manner. I can't remember which story the names cropped up in, so I'd have to read the lot. O dear.
My old edition. Para and Dougie at the stern
Finally -
Time to post this and be going, for I have yet to put the laundry away, let alone tackle the 3D puzzle; I have sorted out the edge pieces for it, so you can credit me with that, at least.
* If you don't like it, sue me. Go on. Remember, however, if you will, that solicitors/barristers/lawyers/attorneys are expensive.
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